Farewell letter to a virtual man. Farewell letter to a beloved man (To tears)

Hello, beloved!

You know. I have never written a letter to a loved one before. This is truly an unusual method. But I'll try. Just please read to the end.

I don't even know where to start. More than two months have passed since we met. And I remember that day. It is impossible to forget him, because he laid the foundation for our relationship with you. Even if they didn’t last long, about two months, they were amazing for me. After all, I was the happiest girl in the world, and even despite the fact that we quarreled, swore, and were offended at each other over all sorts of small trifles. These were my best two months of happiness!

I remember how I fell in love with you. This was our second meeting. And during this short meeting, I realized that it would not be the last. My breath caught, my heart sank, and my chest felt somehow unnaturally warm. I couldn’t even imagine what this felt like. When I was driving home, there were a lot of different thoughts in my head and I couldn’t concentrate. I couldn’t believe that all this was happening to me. But it was only at home that I began to realize that I was in love with you. In love with your smile, with your beautiful eyes, in your voice, in you as you are. It felt scary and good at the same time. But in those minutes when I saw you, I was filled with happiness, joy, warmth, giving me hope for something more.

I want to admit that I have never loved anyone as much as you. Of course, at first I tried to turn a blind eye to it. But then I realized that you can close your eyes to what you see, but not to what you feel!

I always ask myself why this is, why I can’t be with my loved one, why am I being punished like this, why is I in such pain, I don’t deserve it. I am also a person, I am a girl, a girl who fell in love with all her heart for the first time, who once confessed her love, received a knife in the back. Why didn't you ever think about me when you hurt me? After all, each time the pain became stronger and stronger, and the traces of it became deeper and deeper in the soul.

Your words about love? And I believed in them. Everything happened so realistically. And I completely trusted you, every word you said. But it turned out that this was a game? I'm not a toy. I am a girl who has a heart and soul. And you know, when a man truly loves a woman, he will never let her leave his life! Even if she wants it. He will try to fix something, change something, and not only in her, but also in himself! Because, having lost a loved one, you lose an irreplaceable part of your soul, you stop living, you begin to simply exist, without feelings, without emotions. Only with hellish pain.

I don't understand my life without you. You are my meaning, my goal, my addiction. The fire that you kindled in me still burns in my heart. I will never be able to forget you. I won't even try. It's better for everyone else that I become heartless. Because there will never be a place for them in my heart. You became the first and only person I allowed to enter my heart, but you didn’t believe me, I saw it in your eyes, in your smile, in your every gesture. I felt it. I don’t want to be unnecessary, to bother, to impose. But I understand that this is exactly the case.

You will never understand how much you broke me and with what difficulty, now, I am trying to glue myself back together piece by piece every day, through all the grievances, all the pain and tears. I won’t write or call anymore, I won’t look for meetings, I won’t nervously run to the phone when the music starts, why? All this is pointless and stupid.

I hope that the day will come when you and I will meet by chance somewhere. Let's look into each other's eyes, and there is still the same shine, all the same feelings, nothing has changed. As soon as there is a light sadness in my soul, we will part as usual, but this time I will try to hold back the tears, I will not cry, but just smile. I will smile for you, so that you don’t have sadness in your soul, so that you don’t get upset. No matter how painful it is for me, I never cease to thank fate for giving me you. I wish you only happiness. I want everything to be fine with you, and this will make me feel calmer. I want you to finally meet your one true love and was happy with her. I want you to never experience the pain that I experienced. Remember you forever in my heart. I feel you. I love you.

So, we began to live together in a rented apartment. We were very happy. The dream came true. That was great. There was no need to rush anywhere, we spent the nights together. In the morning, you, early bird, woke me up with kisses. We both tried to make each other's lives as pleasant and easy as possible. We went grocery shopping together and cooked food together. You cooked meat wonderfully and loved experimenting with salads. I also tried to pamper you with something tasty, I chose interesting recipes.

I enjoyed taking care of you. I happily ironed shirts, chose men's cosmetics, and made surprises. With love I gave you the massage that you love so much, with essential oils, massagers. We went to visit your friends, relaxed in the sauna, walked in the forest reserve by the lake, and watched our favorite TV shows. I had no idea before that it was possible to be so happy.

Life was filled with meaning because a loved one was nearby. And it’s much more pleasant to enjoy life together than separately. Our first month life together we celebrated in a French restaurant. We summed up the first results and were very pleased with each other. It was obvious that everyone was trying hard and had fun doing it.

Well, then, little by little, you again began to move away from me. Work problems began to take up more and more time. You returned home late, you were very tired, the topic of intimacy generally faded into the background. We didn’t communicate much; on weekends you worked on your own initiative. I started going on business trips and rarely called. When I asked why you didn't call, it caused a storm of indignation.

It was popularly explained to me that while on a business trip, there is no time to do this and it is extremely inconvenient. I didn’t remind him that before this had not been a hindrance and we talked for a long time and joyfully. I was bored, sad, gloomy. You were endlessly busy with work. Physical and moral dissatisfaction grew. You didn't want to notice it. I offered to talk. You had to wait three days for the conversation, because you had no time every day. Three days later we finally talked on my initiative.

This was my long monologue for about three hours. Calmly and frankly, I shared with you what was painful. I am a woman, and I need attention, love, affection. I want to make love to you. I don't need an outside relationship because I love you. I don’t want to be a household item, familiar furniture. Why pretend that everything is fine if it's not? I want to get married and finally have a child. I want something simple female happiness. And I don’t see anything seditious or shameful here.

This is a normal human desire. These simple truisms became a revelation for you. But I'm glad I opened your eyes to them. In the end, you said that I was right about everything. And he left quickly, he wanted to be alone for a couple of days and think. When you left, I said to myself: “That’s it.” And I felt great relief that we explained ourselves.

A couple of days passed, a whole week passed, and you were in no hurry to return to our conversation. Then I insisted on having a conversation myself. In an even tone and without emotion, you told me that I should go my way, and you will go yours. He said that you would solve work problems and refuse any personal relationships. And although I was preparing for this, I was still not ready. It was a low blow. Seeing my condition, you became emotional, hugged me and said that no one had ever loved you like I did.

He even cried, which made me feel sorry for him. Although I have not doubted your acting abilities for some time. I offered to go to the apartment, and you agreed to this “farewell tour.” We spent the night together, and in the morning you hurriedly left for work, looking at me with a long, sad look.

We began to communicate like good friends. Although I subconsciously kept waiting for you to take a step forward, and we would be together again. But I forbade myself to provoke you. It's your decision to break up and I have to respect it. I can handle it, I'm strong.

Yes I am strong woman. Not everyone can be a lover for nine years. Yes, it didn’t work out, but I don’t regret anything. It was a wonderful feeling that inspired me and helped me live. Thanks to this bright feeling, I revealed my best side. We lived together for only three months. We dated for nine long and wonderful years... We lived for each other, almost every summer we went on vacation to the sea, reveled in each other and adored each other.

When we met, you were already married. I foresee the condemnation of others. But love doesn't choose. I loved you with all my soul and felt your love, care and support in return. This happiness is to love and be loved, needed, desired.

I ordered songs for you on the radio, dedicated poems to you, took you to the theaters, the zoo, the circus, arranged surprises, gave you gifts. original gifts, wrote humorous SMS, congratulated you on all the holidays, recorded an audio cassette with all sorts of tenderness and sang a song in your honor. We called each other cute nicknames, which made our souls warmer. You and I were of the same blood and understood each other perfectly. This was worth living for.

I remember how I refused to accept the gold bracelet that you bought me for the New Year as a gift, because I didn’t want you to buy me. You threw the bracelet out the car window at full speed and drove on, refusing to stop. New Year was hopelessly damaged. After that incident, I no longer refused to accept your gifts. I remember this with a smile and sadness. Thank you for everything. For the happiness that I had. For a fairy tale of love. For tenderness. For the fact that you exist in the world. For the fact that you were in my life, in my destiny.

...The most difficult thing is, of course, the beginning. I'm trying to comb my thoughts. And they don’t comb their hair at all. It’s more convenient for them to jump around in my head, confirming everything I know about entropy. Actually, this letter is the only chance that you will find out the truth - why I am leaving you. After all, I will never tell you this to your face. And it’s unlikely that we will meet. That's how it should be. That's what I decided.

You say you know everything about women. Yes, you are a master of the theory, the name of which is “to all
women only need one thing.” Namely - money, sex, man. Are you sure we're complicating things? That married women are always dissatisfied - because “men today are not the same.” You think that only bores who have no desire for anyone are faithful. This is probably why you regularly walked away from your wife, and then left her. Now you are alone and rarely see your children. You are free. You
happy.

What do you know about fidelity? About how you can cheat on your loved one almost ten years ago - and before
still can't forgive yourself? You cheat with much greater ease and are unlikely to be tormented by feelings of guilt. Happy man! But I don’t. I haven’t known what family happiness is ever since. Almost ten years.

He was the best. Sorry for writing to you about this. Maybe you are better than him - I never got to know your essence. He loved me and it was mutual. He blinded me. It’s that simple: he took an 18-year-old girl and made himself a wife. The right books and films are just a drop in the bucket. He was everything to me. You know what it's like to betray the person who is your world,
your air? Have you ever looked into the eyes of the world you betrayed? Have you ever betrayed the air you breathe? I do.

I look back and understand: I couldn’t do otherwise. I grew up in his arms, but one day I wanted
spread your wings. Can love for another be considered betrayal? Yes, I changed it.
But never – do you hear! – I have never once fallen into my husband’s side after having a good time. I left immediately.
Instead of sky-high happiness with someone else, depression became my companion for the next two years. I didn't want to live with the knowledge of what I had done. I didn't want to live without my husband. And I didn't want to live with him. Can this be considered betrayal? Have you ever thought about this? I've been scratching my head over this.

From that moment on, I began to methodically punish myself. Carefully weeded out the sprouts of what he
sowed in me. I stopped reading and watching. I stopped creating. Work has turned from God's gift into scrambled eggs. Who said that the one who gets abandoned is unhappy? No. Both are in hell.

He did not sleep at night, and during the day he drank from the bottle. And I hid my despair under an ultra-mini. I perceived the lustful glances of males as punishment from God. You remember me like this too. Yes and
To be honest, you were attracted to the mini at one time. You, and not only you, thought that
my legs and chest are my main assets. And if you had asked me then if it was true, I would have
said: “Yes.” I really believed in it then. I have lost my immortal soul for a long time
sentenced to death.

And soon another one appeared. Epochal relationships. Almost like the first ones - pain and happiness in one
bottle. He suffered from ex-wife, but only slept with me. I didn’t see a flower or a sincere smile from him for the first year. He did not kiss me on the lips and flirted with others in front of me. I looked away. Why did I need this? Today I know: it was retribution.

Two years later he still fell in love with me. We started planning a family and were actively making a child. It worked. Almost. In the seventh month of pregnancy, I found out that he had another woman. Dreams of family in once again went to hell. Bad girl learned a good lesson. I had time to think about it - in storage, under the supervision of doctors.

I lived with my parents when my son was born. The next six months turned into a strange mixture of happiness and nightmare. A favorite lump in your arms - and an all-encompassing feeling of loneliness. I
I honestly tried to work things out with the child’s father. But love and hate are a strange mixture. I tormented myself with hysterics. When I was about to jump from the balcony, I realized that it was time to stop - because I
I live high, it would be enough for me. Six months later we finally broke up. And immediately it became
easier. You can't imagine how much.

And then you showed up. With an experienced eye, I determined that I needed a man for therapeutic purposes. And he suggested sex. And that's all. We must pay tribute, you were honest right away. And I'm like
The horse ran in a circle as usual. After all, people like me cannot count on a great and bright feeling. Well, what do you say...

Every time I wait for you, I feel both joyful and painful. You make me laugh - that's what I've been missing recent years ten. And sex with you is wonderful. But we both know what's going wrong. Because he is able to distinguish a banal hook-up from lovemaking.

It’s easy for you, you immediately set the milestones: “I’m not a boyfriend or a husband. I'm just a rare visitor
lover". I will add this definition to the quotation book. Regular sex is like fuel for you - you recharge and move on with your life. And I would like to recharge my soul. Do you know what I mean?

We are sincere only in bed, we have enough tenderness for it. Outside of it, you ignore my messages and don’t call yourself. I, in turn, don’t tell my friends about you. No one, not even those closest to you. They are all married and they love me. They won't understand.

We both pretend that this is how it should be. Sometimes I get very scared that you
You think I’m approachable since I did this. You don't know that all my men can be
can be counted on the fingers of one hand. Everything is there, even random ones. And you.

Do you know what it's like to forgive yourself? I've been thinking about this a lot lately. And I know: sooner or later I will have to do this. After all, this is a right given to us from above. I know I have to do this. This is probably how my son’s eyes affect me. I still have to teach him wisdom. In the meantime, I will study on my own.

It took me almost ten years to understand: it is better not to live at all than to live like this. And today I will say goodbye to you. But this is rather a farewell to my former self. I just want happiness. I want to get my girl’s soul out of the permafrost, warm it up and finally understand that she is not to blame for anything.

I think this is how the caterpillar feels before its main transformation. She thinks death is ahead. But the Master will call it a butterfly. You also understand that everything is not accidental? And someday, on a date with my prince, laughing, showered with flowers and wrapped in affection, I will mentally say to you: “Thank you.”

Love letter to a beloved but married man

Chapter: Love letters| Comments: 7

You are an amazing person.

Very strong-willed, stubborn, but kind. You are noble, yes, don’t laugh, you are initially an honest and noble person. And I like it. I love your sense of humor, your jokes, your infectious laughter. I love your voice. I love you. A big and strong bear. My witch doctor. And watchdog, kitten, bunny, donut. You are my warm, gentle sun. And a huge sun for everyone who surrounds you. Everyone needs you. And I don't wonder why I need you so much. You are special.

My bright sunshine! I want to congratulate you! Guess three times - with what? Happy anniversary! We've been together for a year now! Is it a lot or a little? Probably a lot. Although, on the other hand, I didn’t feel this time. It just flew by like one day! And now I feel the same as at the very beginning. I'm incredibly interested in you. You are the same giant magnet that attracts me from enormous power. I can't resist or resist it. It's no use.

I knew you were married. You were looking at me. A month after we met, you gave me perfume for March 8th, and then invited me to a cafe to eat ice cream. We talked, laughed, time flew by. A week later you invited me to listen to music and watch a movie at a friend’s apartment. I knew what it meant, but I agreed because I liked you. This did not oblige us to anything. That's how we started dating.

You are an amazing person.

Very strong-willed, stubborn, but kind. You are noble, yes, don’t laugh, you are initially an honest and noble person. And I like it. I love your sense of humor, your jokes, your infectious laughter. I love your voice. I love you. A big and strong bear. My witch doctor. And watchdog, kitten, bunny, donut. You are my warm, gentle sun. And a huge sun for everyone who surrounds you. Everyone needs you. And I don't wonder why I need you so much. You are special. You are the most wonderful.

You are a young, attractive, successful man. Sometimes he is very confident, and sometimes he is a “hesitant element.” My advice: don't doubt yourself. Don't worry about what others think of you. Remember one thing: you are the coolest!

You combine intelligence and charm, adult and childish emotions, seriousness and humor. You are super! Don't forget this. Being next to you is happiness. A little happiness is simply crossing paths with you in life or work. To be in the company of such an interesting and extraordinary person. Great happiness is to be a close, dear person for you. Because you can become the most gentle, attentive and desirable man in the world. If everything is serious. If you love and are loved.

And it's scary. You know why. Because we are all owners. And if you are the most beloved, closest and dear person, then I don’t want to share you with anyone. And it becomes very, very painful from the realization that you yourself do not mean that much to your loved one. That you are not the only one and not the main one for him. What kind words they're not telling you alone. That they caress, hug and kiss not only you. What you - stranger, who by chance, by some strange and evil irony of fate, met on your way. You can't do this. You can’t get close and then go crazy.

Yes, I do. But it still hurts me a lot. I have you, but I don't have you. You are the most important person for me, but I hide it. I hide it, as if there is something shameful in my feelings. But that's not true. My feelings are bright and kind. And it's hard for me to hide them. I don't want to talk about bad things. But these are two sides of the coin. I love you just the way you are. When you are cheerful and sad, when you are angry, swear or talk about something, when you whisper all sorts of tenderness in my ear. When you work or relax. When I look at your dear face. I love you always. I love you anyway and no matter what. It's hard and easy. And there is no escape from this.

I adore you. I am touched by your actions. And I become more and more attached to you. I was wondering what to give you? How can I congratulate you? I want to surprise you. I want to please you. I want to love you. But I don’t know how to love insipidly, I want to love fervently, sparklingly, with raisins. So this strange idea came to my mind - to record on tape everything I think about this date. It’s very good that my voice is behind the scenes. So you can’t run away somewhere on business or interrupt me. Forced to just listen.

Since today is our holiday, and quite by chance the initiative ended up in my hands, I will have fun and congratulate.

I just received an application: “Hello, beloved radio! Please say hello to your beloved teddy bear from the girl, congratulate him on his little anniversary and play a funny song.” We are happy to fulfill your request. The song is performed by me.

My sweet cat! I love you! I want you! I adore you! May our feelings always remain as fresh, strong, tender and careful. Let there be more time spent together. More attention, more the right words and more to do.

Thank you for the joy, tenderness and happiness that you give me. My life sparkled with all the colors when you appeared in it. You are the most precious thing I have. I kiss you like an adult and I want to get to you as quickly as possible and accomplish everything. secret desires together with you. Yes! And here's another thing. My sunshine! As a snack, I inform you that I plan to invite you on a date and take you somewhere, say, to a pizzeria. I'm treating you! We'll look like hungry students who have sneaked out of class and are gobbling up pizza!

And it remains for you romantic dinner, the menu of which includes shish kebab, red dessert wine and salad. And of course, I dream of celebrating our event with wild and fantastic sex! You can do this whenever you want. And I will make sure that you really want it. I love you, my dear kitten! Tsem-Tsem-Tsem!

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