The girl doesn't feel pleasure. Anorgasmia

Some women rarely enjoy sex. This is a fairly common, complex phenomenon, which is based on both physical and psychological problems, or both combined. So, in order to avoid isolation, women need to pay more attention to this problem.

Doctors note five main causes of sexual dysfunction in women:

1. Low libido, or, as experts say, hypoactive sexual desire disorder.

2. Painful sex, which can be a consequence of both atrophy (associated with menopause) of the external genitalia and vagina due to a lack of hormones, and genital pain syndrome.

3. Sexual Arousal Disorder: A problem equivalent to erectile dysfunction in men, it can be related to both the genitals and the brain (the latter being more common among women).

4. Antipathy to sex, which is often the result of sexual abuse.

5. Inability to achieve orgasm: 10-20% of women never experience orgasm, and many have difficulty achieving it. But this is not an insurmountable problem.

It should be noted that if a woman does not have low libido, and she is sympathetic to intimate relationships, but does not seek sex with her partner, this does not mean that she has problems. A decrease in sexual drive with age is normal, and much depends on whether the woman considers this phenomenon a problem.

There are various treatments for sexual dysfunction, depending on the causes. These can be in the form of oral medications, hormone therapy, or simply arousal gels and devices:

Testosterone is effective means for the treatment of low libido, but to determine the exact dose, the help of an endocrinologist is necessary. Too much testosterone can lead to acne, hair loss, facial hair growth, aggression, and changes in voice.

Zestra: This genital lubricant may help a woman's ability to orgasm.

EROS: Using this device can also increase the likelihood of achieving orgasm.

INTONE™ and Intensity™: These leak-stopping devices are also a quality orgasmic booster that can be used without a doctor's prescription.

Vaginal estrogen: This medication, in the form of a lubricant, tablet, or vaginal ring, is the best solution for problems associated with sexual arousal and atrophy of the external genitalia and vagina associated with menopause.

1% DHEA suppositories can be a substitute for vaginal estrogen.

Osphena is an effective oral, non-estrogenic drug for the relief of pain caused by atrophy of the external genitalia and vagina.

Nevertheless, best choice To improve the quality of sexual life, you should consult a doctor.

Follow on

Sexual life is one of the most important aspects human life. And it exists not only so that people have the opportunity to procreate. Sexual games allow us to liberate ourselves, freeing our consciousness from accumulated fears and lightening it from the burden of life. Sex helps you gain pleasure, comforts you, calms you down, and takes you beyond the boundaries of time. But only if the woman experiences a true orgasm during sex. Otherwise, intimate life becomes one-sided and even, sometimes, unpleasant.

Unfortunately, such situations occur quite often among women. Many of them have problems with orgasm and cannot fully take advantage of such a gift of nature as sex. And often this not only interferes with establishing a full-fledged relationship with a man, but also disfigures the psyche, overloaded with various experiences. This problem usually occurs during the first sexual intercourse, but can suddenly appear later. Why do some women not have an orgasm during sex and can they ever experience it?

Reasons for lack of orgasm in women

Why doesn't a woman have an orgasm? If we consider the female orgasm as a physiological phenomenon, then it represents the following: as the apogee of sex, a spasm of the muscles of the front part of the vagina occurs, and it is these spasms that contribute to the pleasure from the waves of which the whole body eventually begins to tremble. And the reasons why orgasm does not occur is usually the absence of either the spasms themselves or waves of pleasure. In such cases, even the most masterly caresses of a man do not help a woman reach the climax during sex. But why does this happen?

The reason for this situation may be pathology of female organs, poor blood supply to organs located in the pelvic area, low sensitivity of the nervous system located in this area, or a woman’s tense psychological state. The most significant and rather difficult to solve problem, in this case, is the tense psychological state. After all, when a woman cannot completely relax during intimacy, there can hardly be any talk of a vivid orgasm. It turns out like this: if I can’t relax during sex, I can’t experience an orgasm!

For example, a girl may ask herself the following question: “Why don’t I have an orgasm, why doesn’t sex have such a bright ending for me?” There may be several possible answers for her - because she is either afraid of the judgment of others, or had a negative first experience, or was brought up in a Puritan spirit. Or maybe a girl experiences a feeling of hostility towards her partner during sex, or she is oppressed by thoughts about some kind of everyday troubles. But she is still very young and may well, over time, independently free herself from psychological shackles by choosing a suitable mate for herself.

But if, at a more mature age, the answer to the question of why a woman does not experience orgasm also lies somewhere in this area, then you will have to seek help from a specialist. Because the woman’s fears have already taken quite deep roots. And, even if a woman tries with all her might to get rid of them, some little thing will revive them again during sex. Such little things can be smells, sounds, bright light, or, conversely, darkness - anything. In any case, women should choose partners for intimacy from those for whom they feel a feeling of sympathy.

Then, when the lack of orgasm during sex in women is not psychogenic and is not associated with any pathology of the genital organs, this problem can be solved using several methods.

Methods for restoring orgasm in women

It would seem that an open attempt to solve the problem of female orgasm arose quite recently thanks to modern trends. Indeed, in ancient times, morals were quite harsh, requiring from women, first of all, extreme modesty and submission to men. Where can we even talk about orgasm - just look, they will consider me immoral and write me down in the ranks of harlots, but I am a modest girl! Can I risk my reputation?

However, this, oddly enough, is not at all the case. A number of systems that help a woman achieve a vivid orgasm were developed by Eastern sages back in ancient times. Why they were so concerned about this issue, God knows, because it had no effect on the birth rate. Perhaps they are tired of the revelations of many women who plaintively ask: “Why don’t I have an orgasm? Why can’t I experience the pleasure I crave during sex?” Or maybe the wisest were worried about the condition of men who suffered from an inferiority complex due to the lack of orgasm in their girlfriends, considering themselves bad lovers. One way or another, the techniques they invented are quite effective and are still successfully used today.

The simplest system created by Taoist sages to help restore female sexual functions is very simple. She represents squeezing and unclenching with alternating speed and strength of the vaginal muscles. You can do such exercises anytime and anywhere: sitting at your desk, standing in line, doing some household chores, and while riding in public transport.

This system normalizes blood supply to the pelvic organs and revitalizes the nerve endings located in this area. If you perform up to five hundred such squeezing and unclenching a day, problems with orgasm are solved quite quickly. And this is not at all difficult, because Taoist practice does not require any special conditions, and any girl or woman can do them, anywhere and anytime.

Surprisingly, the lack of orgasm in women is successfully eliminated by pretense. Yes, yes, it is precisely this very pretense - the imitation of an orgasm, for which men experienced in sexual matters sometimes reproach us. This is easy to explain. Any human mask has the ability to influence his inner mood. And if it is used for quite a long time, then this internal mood begins to obey the mask more and more.

In other words, when we play a role for a long time, it somehow becomes part of our essence. Constantly simulating an orgasm is no exception. If you portray it talentedly - body shuddering, blissful moans, etc. - the consciousness will believe its physical shell and program the fact of pleasure. And he will begin to make it a reality. It turns out that the more often a woman does this - imitating an orgasm during sex - the higher the likelihood that she will be able to get real pleasure in the near future.

This is a kind of psychological stimulation, which can also include erotic fantasies during sexual intercourse. There should be no feeling of guilt towards your partner. The lack of orgasm in a woman is a problem that needs to be solved by all means. In addition, an orgasm will not only bring true pleasure to the woman herself, but will also double it for the man - seeing that he was able to give his beloved pleasure, he reaches a more powerful and vibrant climax. If it is difficult to get rid of the feeling of guilt that arises during fantasies, you can make your partner a participant in erotic dreams.

Before sexual intercourse, you should not bother yourself with all sorts of “I can - I can’t” or “it works - it doesn’t work”; To get maximum pleasure during sex, it is advisable to get as excited as possible. Both foreplay and the Taoist system of exercises can be a way to do this. During intimacy, we exclude extraneous thoughts, replacing the obsessive “Why don’t I get an orgasm?” to the confident one: “I’m getting an orgasm!” Having relaxed as much as possible, we study only our own sensations. At the same time, we breathe deeply to completely relieve tension.

While moving the pelvis up and down, we compress and unclench the vaginal muscles. As soon as we feel the approach of orgasm, we begin to moan and squirm. This contributes to the complete liberation of the body, which then freely allows a whole barrage of pleasure to pass through itself. At the same time, during intimacy there is no need to focus specifically on orgasm - if you do this, it will create tension, delaying the climax and preventing you from receiving the whole “complex” of pleasures from intimacy.

A very powerful method - stimulation of the clitoris during intercourse. If the partner, due to inexperience or for some other reason, does not begin to do this himself, we will either hint to him about the necessary actions, or we will deal with the clitoris ourselves. We shouldn’t be embarrassed to do this - we need an orgasm!

All these tips are quite simple, and any woman can follow them. Sometimes it is not even necessary to find out why a particular woman does not have an orgasm; This happens for everyone for a different reason. Now there are many techniques that allow you to get an orgasm even for those who have long lost hope for it. You just need to treat the chosen method with due diligence, and the full depth of this magnificent gift of nature - a bright orgasm - will be revealed to each of us. And not only. We can even go further and find out what a unique miracle this is - multiple orgasms in a woman, which allows you to know sexy world in all its beauty and versatility. And only your conviction can help this knowledge: I can, I am capable of experiencing pleasure, and I experience it during intimacy every time I want it! Affirmations will help you cultivate this conviction - another way you can learn to experience orgasm.

Affirmations for achieving female orgasm

It is very important to learn to relax and love the pleasure that your body can give you. To discover the joy of sexual satisfaction, simply start saying affirmations for orgasm. Affirmations are positive statements that influence your subconscious and make you believe: I can experience pleasure and real pleasure from sex!

These “therapy” sessions for your subconscious are designed to create new thoughts and new ways of automatically responding to situations related to your intimate life. It is best to say affirmations while sitting comfortably on a sofa or armchair, listening to the sounds of ocean waves and light music, which must be turned on at low volume.

Use the power of your mind to change the way you think about your body and the sensations it can give you. Change for the better the way your subconscious mind made you think about yourself. Just don’t forget: affirmations must be said every day, for at least half an hour in a row, maybe even several times a day, and always for quite a long time. You will notice the first results no earlier than twenty days. But, believe me, your efforts will not be in vain, both full and bright orgasms won't keep you waiting!

You can create positive phrases for yourself that will help you relax and tune in to enjoyment. The main rule is that all statements must be affirmative and not negative, that is, you cannot say “I can’t,” “I’m not afraid,” “I don’t think,” and the like. And one more thing: we talk about ourselves only in the present tense and in no case in the future: “I can,” and not “I can,” “I experience,” and not “I will experience,” “I can do it,” and not “I can do it” and so on.

As an example, we present several already compiled positive statements, the most suitable of which you can also include in your affirmations:

I have a powerful sex appeal;

I always have orgasms during sex;

My orgasms are always strong and vivid;

For me there is only my partner and me during sex;

I respond very quickly to my partner's sexual energy;

I get great pleasure from sex;

I'm very sexy woman;

I love sex;

I look forward to sex;

Sex is a source of great pleasure for me;

I always have an easy orgasm;

I constantly have multiple orgasms during sex;

I get sexually aroused very easily;

I have a lot of erogenous points, and I really love it when my partner caresses them;

I feel very sexy and attractive;

I feel easy and comfortable when I have sex, I am very easily aroused;

My mind is free of problems during sex;

I'm only interested in my body and how I feel during sex.

I am a very sexy woman, I have a strong libido;

I attract men because I am full of sexual energy;

I am confident in my sexuality;

The desire for sex arises easily for me at any time when I or my partner want it;

I have a beautiful body that can give me great pleasure.

Full sex life, is the key to the physical and mental health of each of us. Sexuality is not vicious, it is natural. Men don't like emotionless icicles. Therefore, you should try to awaken your passion by any means. If you put maximum effort into this, then the question of why a woman does not get an orgasm will sooner or later cease to exist.

Hello, I’m 16 and my girlfriend recently started having sex, I took her virginity as expected, a few days later we had sex again, but when I started the act, she first felt a slight pain, and then didn’t feel anything at all, tell me what's the problem? What can be done in this case?

Evgeniy, St. Petersburg

ANSWERED: 05/16/2015

Evgeniy! You probably shouldn’t rush here, let some time pass for your girl to understand what sex is, and then you can talk about something. By the way, in order to understand her feelings and thoughts on this matter, it is better to contact her herself. Good luck! ***** http://nlp-ti.ru/stati/ **

ANSWERED: 05/16/2015

No problem, Evgeniy! If a woman is just starting out sex life, in rare cases, she immediately experiences pleasure from sexual intercourse. Time will pass, experience will accumulate, and with your tenderness, delicacy, understanding and responsiveness, your partner will certainly be able to receive satisfaction from intimacy! In case of serious problems with this, contact a specialist: a sexologist. Good luck and love to you! http://vitamed-tver.ru/secsolog/

ANSWERED: 05/17/2015 Pokrovskaya Yulia Alexandrovna Moscow 0.0 Neurologist, head department. Psychotherapist

Pay more attention to foreplay so that your partner is well aroused before the act. Remember, the vagina is not the only erogenous zone; pleasure can be achieved in other ways. Also understand that your friend has entered a new period of life, both her psyche and her body must adapt to it. This takes time. And, of course, ask what she thinks about it, maybe it doesn't bother her that much, or she understands that it takes time. With care and attention to each other, you will succeed!))

ANSWERED: 05/17/2015 Kantuev Oleg Ivanovich Omsk 0.0 Psychiatrist, psychotherapist, narcologist.

This is Eugene's anatomy, and there is no reason for concern. It won’t be long before everything will be fine for both of you!

Related questions:

Elena Malysheva:
The topic of our today’s issue of the “Naked Truth” column is I don't enjoy intimacy with my husband.
The heroine of the next story came to us with exactly this problem.

What to do if a woman wants to be happy, but cannot understand how to achieve this. Although everything seems to be good and normal.

Irina:
We have been living with my husband for quite a long time, we will soon have a “Silver Jubilee” and all this time we love each other very much. At first everything was fine with us, just wonderful, we have two children, first a son was born, then a daughter.
Recently, quite serious problems have appeared in our relationship; I have stopped experiencing pleasure from sexual intimacy with my beloved husband. I don’t even know what to think, maybe I have some problems, maybe my husband has changed something in his attitude towards me and that’s why I don’t feel any pleasure.
Of course, I try to hide it, to play something, but it seems to me that my husband still guesses about my insincerity.

I am afraid that this could cause a big crack in our marital relationship. Although they say that if spouses spend time life together become friends, then nothing else matters - this is not so. I'm afraid that my family will fall apart.

Elena Malysheva:
Our guest is Irina, the heroine of our story, a person who sincerely told everything about herself, for which I want to thank her. After all, in Russia it is generally not customary to say that a woman also wants to enjoy intimacy.
Therefore, firstly, thank you for your sincerity, and secondly, I want to introduce you to our expert, this is a psychiatrist, associate professor at the Russian State Medical University - Veniamin Efimovich Zhitlovsky.

In general, the story is clear - there is a wonderful relationship with my husband and sex, but the person does not experience any pleasure from intimacy.
- What to do in such a situation?

Zhitlovsky V.E.:
As a rule, with a long-term relationship, the severity of sensations dulls a little. This is usually due either to the fact that the man less attention begins to pay attention to the woman, or the woman herself does not let the man understand what is happening during their intimacy.

Elena Malysheva:
— What does “A woman doesn’t make it clear” mean?

Zhitlovsky V.E.:
And this means the following:

A woman reacts quite adequately to her husband’s caresses, thinking that “If only he did everything, everything worked out for him, and somehow I’ll be there.”
If you have experienced similar situations, this is most likely the cause of the situation we are talking about today.

Elena Malysheva:
Today our topic is quite unusual.
In Russia, neither women nor men really know where their zones are located, which are created by nature in order to receive pleasure from intimacy, so that intimacy takes place in the correct physiological form.
— Do you know what erogenous zones are?

Irina:
Commonly accepted: earlobes, along the spine.

Zhitlovsky V.E.:
I would like to add Irina.
She started talking about what she called sensory sensitivity, in which women are more diverse than men.
There are erogenous zones of the first order (extragenital) and second order (genital).

Elena Malysheva:

In women, the extragenital zones, unlike in men, include almost the entire surface of the body. Many people think that these are lips, earlobes, breasts, etc. In fact, a woman’s entire body is an incredibly tailored, nerve-wracking extragenital erogenous zone.

Here, almost any caresses can bring pleasure to a woman.

There are intimate areas, i.e. genital – areas located in the genitals.
We have a poster with a cross-section of a female genital organ.
Here we can see three points studied by scientists.

• First point "Spot G"- the scientist who discovered it Ernst Gräfenberg. This point was opened in the 50s of the last century.

Zhitlovsky V.E.:
The “G-spot” is located on the inner anterior wall of the vagina, 3-4 cm from the entrance to the vagina.
Irritation of this zone usually causes very pleasant unusual sensations in women.

Elena Malysheva:
When this area is stimulated, nerve impulses from excitement rise to the brain, where they are formed into sensations, then these impulses from the brain fall down, as a result of which the genitals are moistened.

• Second point “Point A”- the scientist who discovered it also entered the history of Koo Chii Ann.

- Where is Point A located?

Zhitlovsky V.E.:
This point is located just above the “G-spot” on the inner front wall of the vagina near the cervix.
This point is responsible for deep arousal; impact on this point allows a woman to experience multiple orgasms.

Elena Malysheva:

• Third point "Point U"- discovered by American researcher Alexander Skin, and this point is located almost on the surface.

Zhitlovsky V.E.:
“Point U” is located at the entrance to the vagina, and all nerve endings are adjacent to the urethra, to the urethra.
This point is responsible for the release of an alkaline substrate, which is similar to what occurs in a man during ejaculation.

Elena Malysheva:
— Why do you think the topic of female sexual physiology is absolutely closed in Russia?

Irina:
I believe that these are all echoes of the Soviet past, when we “didn’t have sex.”
The new generation speaks more freely on any topic.

Elena Malysheva:
It seems to me that a sense of proportion is also very important here.

Zhitlovsky V.E.:
The most important thing is that adequate relationships must be maintained between husband and wife or between partners.
For all these zones to sound, there must be an internal desire to experience all these experiences together. If there is an internal desire, then all these zones will sound on their own and you don’t need special knowledge of what and how to do.

Elena Malysheva:
The desire to experience these sensations with your loved one will give you more than our conversations about extragenital and genital erogenous zones.

Guests in the studio:

• Candidate of Medical Sciences, Associate Professor of the Department of Rehabilitation, Sports Medicine and physical culture RGMU, psychiatrist-psychoanalyst V.E. Zhitlovsky

Sex life- an important aspect of human life. Thanks to her, people not only continue their family lineage, but also become liberated, free their consciousness from the burden of life’s problems, and calm down. But only if a person experiences a real orgasm, sexual intercourse gives pleasure and pleasure. In another case, intimate life can even be unpleasant. Problems with orgasm interfere with establishing relationships with a partner and overload the psyche with additional experiences.

It is known that 58% of marriages break up due to sexual disharmony, which may not even manifest itself clearly. The main argument is the dissimilarity of characters, although sexual differences lie at the heart of an unhappy marriage. And anorgasmia (women not having an orgasm) is often the reason for this.

Reasons for the lack of female orgasm

Very important for a woman psychological side sexual relations. If she is tense and cannot relax during sexual intercourse, then orgasm is out of the question. There can be many factors that provoke such a condition. This is the fear of “catching” a sexually transmitted disease or becoming pregnant, and subsequently being “abandoned” by a sex partner.

Reasons for lack of orgasm in such a situation may lie in the pathology of the female genital organs, poor blood supply to organs located in the pelvic area, low sensitivity of the nerve endings located in this area. Some women only begin to experience orgasm. For others, on the contrary, a harmonious sex life before childbirth cannot improve after the birth of a child. This is due to birth injuries of the perineum and pelvic floor muscles, as well as nerve endings.

However, very often problems with orgasm are associated not with physiological disorders, but with difficulties in relationships.

Sometimes anorgasmia can manifest itself subconsciously, due to a feeling of dislike for men in general. Due to family conflicts that negatively affect mood, hostility towards a particular partner may arise, and the woman stops experiencing orgasm.

In young girls, the lack of orgasm may be associated with the first negative experience, fear of judgment from others, and everyday troubles may depress her. If a girl was raised strictly in her family, she may develop a feeling of guilt because of her sexual impulses, which do not coincide with the attitudes received in childhood. But over time, a young girl can get rid of this psychological burden by finding a suitable match for herself.

In adulthood, everything is much more serious and for an answer why a woman does not experience an orgasm, you need to contact a specialist. Women's fears have taken such deep roots that it is very difficult to overcome them on your own. A sex therapist will explain all the mistakes and give recommendations for a specific case.

Consequences of lack of orgasm

Anorgasmia causes congestion in the female genital organs, which subsequently results in:

• menstrual irregularities,
• uterine bleeding.

Venous congestion in the genitals can lead to polycystic ovarian degeneration and the development of uterine fibroids. Changes hormonal levels contribute to pathological changes in mammary gland tissue.

Suffering and nervous system women. Lack of sexual satisfaction can lead to irritability, depression, hysterical states, neuroses, and depression.

What should I do if I don't get an orgasm?

If the lack of orgasm is not caused by reasons psychological nature and is not associated with pathology of the genital organs, the problem can be solved using several methods.

The simplest one was developed by Taoist sages and involves squeezing and unclenching the vaginal muscles, alternating in speed and strength. Such exercises can be done anywhere and anytime - at your desk, in line, in public transport, while doing household chores. They help normalize the blood supply to the pelvic organs and revitalize the nerve endings located in this area. If you perform such squeezing and unclenching up to five hundred times a day, you can quickly solve the problem with orgasm.

The lack of orgasm can be eliminated by simulating it. After all, any mask worn by a person can influence the inner mood. In other words, if you play a role for a long time, it becomes part of us. The constant image of an orgasm with all its states affects the consciousness, which over time will program the fact of pleasure and will translate it into reality.

Such stimulation can also include erotic fantasies during intimacy.

Before engaging in sexual intercourse, it is advisable to become more aroused. This can be facilitated Taoist exercises and foreplay. It is necessary to relax as much as possible, concentrating only on your own feelings, discarding extraneous thoughts. To completely relieve tension, breathing must be deep. Feeling the approach of orgasm - squirming and moaning, this liberates the body, then causing pleasure. During intimacy, you don’t need to focus specifically on orgasm; this interferes with the perception of pleasure from it.

In case of physiological disorders, treatment of the cause that caused this condition is necessary. In this case apply drug treatment, physiotherapeutic procedures, gynecological massage, acupuncture. Very important psychological aspect, trust relationship with a doctor and a desire to be treated. After all, a full sexual life is the key to mental and physical health every woman.