How to properly break off a relationship with a married man. How to end a relationship with your lover - Advice from a psychologist
No woman is immune from love for a man who has a family. It is best, of course, to stop right away and not get involved in such dubious relationships. But often women get carried away by an affair, and when the understanding comes that this should have been avoided, it is already too late. Feelings have completely taken over your heart and you can’t throw them out so easily.
As a result, the situation will most likely end up as status quo, and for many years some men may live with their wives on one side and their mistresses on the other, without even trying to rectify the situation. Most people hate romance. It is true that although this happens, people have nothing against it, but often, after the fact, they tend to see themselves as less than nothing.
They know they are not trusted and have betrayed the trust of a person they hold in respect and love. This is often much more important than you might think. A cheating husband is often considered a failure. When an affair with his mistress begins, he often becomes more abrasive. When a man starts getting busy, he becomes sexually hyperactive. His sexual desire is awake and his wife is always the one with whom he feels sexually better.
Until a woman fully realizes that her relationship with married man will never develop, she will not be able to stop them and will continue to torment herself with various conjectures.
And many women refuse to break up because their love for the man is strong enough. Especially if he provides significant material support. There are women who have families themselves, but they are quite happy with this situation. They are not ready to risk their comfort and reliability. And truly unhappy are those women who wait with the hope that their loved one will leave the family in which he is so disrespected and come to them. You just have to wait until your wife gets better or until the children grow up.
If you notice this sudden change in your husband, it should turn red. Pay attention when the drive returns to normal, because once the act of the extramarital affair has solidified, it will be more prone to quitting.
Women are just as unfaithful as men and their extramarital affairs are more dangerous for the couple. According to researchers at Indiana University, women are just as unfaithful as men, but for different reasons. Women tend to change for emotional reasons.
You can see a lot of infidelity online, without physical contact, and this is ultimately the most dangerous infidelity: getting emotionally involved in a relationship, no matter how virtual, means being emotionally distracted from your partner's life. If the relationship is based only on sex, there is less emotional attachment and it is a more painful bad move.
To make it easier to free yourself from a relationship, you should think about the following facts:
- perhaps at first a woman will not have the intention of building a future together with a married man, but no one guarantees that one fine moment she will not understand how deep her feelings are;
This is also the reason that when betting on the wall, most men choose their wife rather than their mistress. And Hillary Clinton, didn't she know what was going on? Most of the time these women know exactly what is going on, as do most women who have an unfaithful husband.
These little signs listed above put a bug in their ear. But this fact is too hard to swallow and many women will have trouble supporting it. They prefer to live with this “doubt” in order to keep their children and avoid humiliation.
Additionally, it is difficult to judge the litters and results of female-lover conflict. And if, having placed him at the foot of the wall, he chose another? You cannot solve a problem until the person is right in his business. We can find a solution to the problem, but not at any time.
- if a man hides his actions from his wife, then when he leaves for his mistress, most likely he will do the same;
- at first, an affair with a married man will cause thrills, but then the woman will simply begin to get tired of the need to hide her communication with him;
- if a man makes a woman his mistress, he simply expresses his disrespect, because she, in fact, becomes a homewrecker and offends his wife with her behavior;
If he is in the middle of a romantic affair, no one can make him listen to reason. There are so many positive things to do without the mystery of marriage in this new relationship. If you're faced with a choice when an extramarital affair is in full swing, the marriage is likely to lose the game unless he understands that life won't be any rosier or better with this other woman.
The key to the problem here is prevention: if a woman goes from being a "mistress of aguicanta" to being a "woman who flirts in vain", there is a good chance that she will end up using silk. Of course, there are problems that need to be solved when you live together, and of course you should fix them, but don't forget the other side of the issue: men also love compliments. Don't forget sex, surprise him from time to time. Basically, you have to develop the relationship by working through the issues and blowing on the coals to keep it going.
- a woman will not be able to express her dissatisfaction if a man suddenly rushes off about his business, she knows that he is married and, accordingly, he has obligations that he cannot ignore.
After thinking about all of the above, coping with relationship addiction will no longer be so difficult. A woman must show herself respect. Only she will decide whether she wants a full-fledged relationship or is it better to be content with the leftovers.
In case a person is having an extramarital affair, wait until the first time has passed before taking action. It's no use taking everything out while he can't see anything. Extramarital affairs can often restore a marriage. No, infidelity is not always the death of a couple.
In this process, a person becomes aware and understands what he wants for the rest of his life, and that this new attitude is not so fantastic after all. He may even vaccinate him for the future. Think twice about it before going back to the wrong person: was it a wrong move that won't happen again? In this case, yes, it is entirely possible after looking at the problems and how to resolve them to get the marriage back on track.
You need to be brave and delete phone numbers. Everything that can remind you of a man must disappear. Let’s say that if there were places of joint transmission, then they should be avoided. If you have mutual acquaintances, then you need to stop communicating with them for a while. If possible, ask them not to remind you more about the past romance. The apartment needs to be rearranged, and the interior can be decorated with some new accessories.
Even after the marriage is restored, his mistress may miss him. Even if he loves his wife, and if he wants to save his marriage, he does not completely forget about his business. What is missing is pleasure, sex, lack of responsibility. Sometimes he misses how he felt as a man when he was with his mistress. And this, on the contrary, could cause damage if he returns to the marriage.
The solution, again here, is to operate and be similar to when the couple was new. An unfaithful husband knows full well that he is harming the woman he loves, that he is hurting his family, and that he is sacrificing his honor. Yes, an unfaithful man knows exactly what he is doing and understands the impact he is having on his wife, family and himself.
And there is no need to suppress tears. The main thing is to allow yourself to cry, so that you can then open up to a new life with your head held high.
A married man is a source of not only pleasure, which is very dubious, by the way, but also endless problems. The main thing is that it is a waste of time. Your years are passing, but you shouldn’t count on the fact that someday he will leave his wife. He won’t quit, and you will be left with nothing.
After all, if he feels devalued, undervalued and taken for granted, and if he feels desired, appreciated and admired on the other side, it is obvious that this other person is playing a role of importance that he cannot get rid of.
It is not a woman's fault if her husband is unfaithful. When a person is unfaithful, it is a conscious choice. A woman never “pushes” her husband into the arms of his mistress. This has nothing to do with reality. A man doesn't cheat because his wife is who she is. The problem is that there were signs of disconnection in the couple and that both parties ignored them.
So how to end a relationship with a married man? This is done very sharply and without prolonged sentimentality. Bridges need to be burned, not sawed down millimeter by millimeter.
Getting rid of illusions
To make it easier to get out love triangle, you need to clearly understand what position you are in. A married man openly uses you, preventing you from building family happiness, feeds with promises, while humiliating his wife. Surely you admire him in some ways: he is noble, cannot leave his family because of children, etc.
It's time to get the relationship back on track. Close it with the class, keeping you from anger and despair. There are several reasons why, unfortunately, it may happen that these reasons are not dictated by our will. Especially when closing the fatal door is our partner. To be in despair when you are left alone and making false steps, such as miserable scenes in your house or countless phone calls where we ask you to come back, you need nothing more than to do our poor heart even more heavy and tired.
In fact, he acts cowardly and takes the easy path, because the appearance of his mistress speaks of his inability and unwillingness to solve problems within the family. It’s convenient for him to live like this, you’re just part of his comfort.. He will not part with his wife, but you will miss the most best years, which they could spend on building their family.
How to behave in a way that closes a cool and worthy story? Unless the bad news is a lightning strike, the end of the story is always preceded by a series of signals that you should be able to capture, internalize, and use as personal encouragement to close the relationship without blaming too much on the bad shot. Let's look at five types of situations that lead to the end of a story and five ways to close it as a class.
It is clear that your story will soon reach its breaking point. Don't let yourself be blinded by anger, which can lead you to acts of jealousy and scary scenes not only in private but also in public, which makes you a zombie in the neighborhood. Don't even allow false hopes and moments where you think you can endure the situation in silence with her on your side. The first step to take is to realize that he doesn't love you anymore and probably besides... bad attitude, he will leave you soon.
Don't do anything stupid
Avoid the temptation to call his wife by opening your eyes to your cheating husband. He definitely won’t thank you for this. Now you have realized the disadvantage of your situation and are ready to turn the whole world upside down to be with your loved one. Your attempt to go all-in will make at least three people unhappy - you, your lover and his legal spouse.
Saves history out of habit
Take the day off without knowing it, change the lock and get all your luggage ready. Leave his suitcases out the door and write a short but effective message in the mail. Of course, you will not suffer less, but you will face the situation with dignity. Common signals are obvious to everyone, even those who don't want to see them. If this kind of couple's life has caused your partner to be ignored both day and night, know that the next step will be the fateful moment when he comes up with some excuses to say that your story is over.
Cut all the threads by mutual agreement
No matter how good he feels with you, he still has a conscience. Talk to him seriously, tell him that it’s time for you to arrange your life, you are not satisfied with the position of a third wheel, you no longer intend to live on “breakfasts” and promises. Stand your ground firmly, do not give in to persuasion, put pressure on what hurts most - that he makes you unhappy. And if there is even a drop of nobility and love left in him for you, he will no longer call you and demand meetings. If he becomes cowardly and does this, you will know that he is not doing this out of love.
Love loves your career
A typical phrase you might use? "You deserve better." Take a good breath, shake hands and say, “You’re right.” Then let him go indifferently and leave the crying and despair of a trusted friend. Have you become an obstacle to your career and you noticed it without any doubt? The only thing you can do is to get rid of your life with indifference, as if it did not make you suffer at all. He will understand that his choice was a big mistake. Go home and he's gone.
Things were probably not going in the right direction for some time, but you couldn't read the signals. Don't give up screaming hysterically and start petting him for phone calls. Best weapon to shut him down with dignity or make him doubt his choice is indifference. Invite your closest friends to spend a few days together and make sure they are no longer in contact with him. You will search for a short time, and then you will become the reins of the game!
So, you agreed to break up with him, How can you cope with the desire to return to him? Put his number on the blacklist so that difficult moment don’t call, load yourself up with things to do, and most importantly - if you are married yourself, start establishing a dialogue with your husband. If you do not solve your personal problems and are not satisfied with what you have, the temptation to return to your relationship with your lover will not leave you.
He leaves you and releases the guilt, he asks you to remain friends and make sure that you always count on him. If you want to close this story with dignity, don't lower yourself to these unnecessary and unreasonable compromises. He negatively rejects his proposal and points out the stupidity of his words and gestures. Obviously, always with self-control and self-control, the outburst and crying go away when you are with a friend.
If you don't understand your loved one, you feel uncertain, you don't know what to say or do to avoid confusing things - you are probably involved with an emotionally unavailable partner. In a healthy relationship, two partners have a desire to be with each other and, regardless of other commitments in their lives, they find time and opportunity to be together.