Women are accustomed to believing that men are the stronger sex. Partly so. But sometimes they are more vulnerable and touchy. They are only blocks of stone in appearance, but at heart they are little boys who are afraid to hear “no”. But they will have to hear this “no”. And your task is to make sure that they swallow this pill without unnecessary bitterness.

This technique gives great results if you have met an aggressive and assertive man. For them, all veiled words will mean that their actions should be even more assertive. “No” should sound briefly, not in a loud voice, but with metal in the voice. Naturally, without insults, sarcasm or attacks towards the fan. A cold “no” and perhaps in a circle.

A frontal attack sounds clear, convincing and peremptory. You can simply say no without adding anything to it. Maybe with a little explanation.

For example: “No, I can’t come,” “No, I have other plans,” “I don’t have time.” And don’t forget to completely remove flirting, coquetry and affectation. Do not react to provocations and do not be fooled by delaying the conversation. You can listen to complaints and suggestions, but don’t object, don’t ask clarifying questions, just say “no” again.

This is the softest technique for refusing a fan. Your “no” should be followed by “I’m sorry.” For example, “I’m very sorry for giving false hope,” “I’m very sorry, but I already have a boyfriend,” “I’m very sorry, but I’m not that girl.”

The essence of the technique is that the woman must listen carefully to the man, showing her empathy and awkwardness, but in the end she must say “no.”

If your speech is sincere, then the man will understand that a polite refusal does not serve as a signal for a new round of courtship.

This technique is effective with men who are trying to evoke pity. Did they want her? They will get it. Such men tend to woo a woman by playing on her maternal instinct. The admirer is able to pretend to be a hungry kitten who has been sitting under her porch for three hours in the rain, and now the woman simply has to take it home, buy it, feed it and warm it up. You don’t owe anyone anything, especially in this situation, you’re just very sorry that he got wet, but when asked to take him with you, answer with a soft “no.”

Lecture

This technique will help you refuse a man you have known for a long time. Let's say this is a childhood friend who looked after you at school, and now, 10 years later, the same fire of feelings has flared up in him. Tell him about yourself. Everything we experienced during this time: about my husband, about my parents, about friends and work.

Tell him in such a way that he himself understands that there is no place for him in your life.

Once is an accident. Two is a coincidence. Three or more is a pattern. This is exactly how this tactic works. You need to derive a pattern that your union is classified as “no”. For example, you are married, live in another city, and your mother will not accept him. It is difficult for a man to fight on three fronts at once. A pattern in the unreality of a relationship with you will become stronger in his subconscious.

And even if he moves to your city, wins your mother’s favor, and your husband moves, because it’s not a wall, then his subconscious will tell him that the other three reasons will immediately arise.

This technique is especially suitable for refusing: a man who is older than you, superior and wealthy.

Delaying time

“Call me in an hour, oh, better tomorrow. No, I can't tomorrow. Let's call next week? Sorry, the whole week will be busy. How about in a month? Again, I can't. You know what, call me “never.” Yes, never. Would you mind calling me “never”?” — something like this should sound like a dialogue. And a man must hear and understand him. Reschedule meetings, pull the cat by the tail as much as you can. The man himself will get tired of this uncertainty. And an intelligent man is well aware that this temporary delay is nothing more than a veiled refusal.

This technique is suitable for dealing with assertive fans who do not tolerate objections. But over time, they may simply dry out on their own.

You can't knock on a closed door forever. In addition, they will not receive a straightforward refusal and will not feel knocked out.

Compromise

You can give your fan one slow dance, but during it, explain to the man that your future life will be without him. Give him something you can afford to take away the feeling of emptiness and failure from his heart.

If he says, “It’s either all or nothing for me,” great. This way you will be freed from the dance, but he made the decision. Moreover, he refused you the dance.

“I can’t, but my friend will accept your offer with pleasure.” A little pimping, replacing the lead singer, and it's done. Perhaps you can truly arrange the personal life of a lonely friend with an excellent male specimen.

When refusing a man, no matter how you decide, remove all feminine things from your arsenal. Don't provoke him. Men tend to hunt and conquer. Don't lure him into your traps if you really want him to get away from you. Any of your coquetry will keep him on a leash. If you use all the feminine charisma, it means that you need this admirer and the topic of refusal is not before you.

Often in the lives of women there are situations when a married man begins to care for them. If being a mistress is acceptable to you, then this article is not for you. We will try to cover the topic of how you can beautifully refuse a man bound by marriage.

Reasons for refusal

If you are still racking your brains over whether or not to start a close relationship with a married man, here are a few arguments in favor of why you shouldn’t take this desperate step:

• Be prepared to be #2. No matter what your gentleman says, no matter what praises he sings to you, he will spend most of his time with his wife. You will only get “minutes of happiness” that you can snatch from time to time. He will be with his family all holidays and weekends, and you will remain alone and patiently wait until your chosen one deigns to appear. In addition, you are unlikely to be able to openly walk around the city and go to restaurants. In such relationships, meetings, as a rule, take place in the woman’s apartment, or the gentleman specifically rents housing for this;
• Mistress. As is known, public opinion evaluates love for a married person extremely negatively, so do not be surprised if you are elevated to the rank of a homewrecker and destroyer of the family;
• Be patient a little and I'll get a divorce. Promises of this kind are the favorite mantra of married men who have relationships on the side. As a rule, this is limited to mere words, and it comes to action only in very rare cases. And in most cases, a man does not dare to leave his family, especially if there are children in it. And this promise serves more as an excuse to keep a girlfriend for secret meetings, and, as a rule, it does not lead to divorce;
• All good men married. This artificially created myth successfully exists among women who are slightly over 30. For some reason, they decided that by this age men with good qualities have already been sorted out, and those who remained unmarried do not deserve attention. That's why women agree to be a mistress, as long as the man is caring and successful. Let us hasten to dispel this misconception. There are quite a few attractive men around who are not yet married and can make a very good match. You just need to look for them a little or take a closer look at your surroundings. But you shouldn’t perceive the situation as hopelessness, and from this become a mistress, because you probably deserve better;
• Take care of your nerves. When choosing a relationship with a married man, do not only expect pleasant romantic encounters, intense sex and gifts. The other side of the coin here is constant nervous tension and permanent jealousy. Yes, married people can lie, saying that their wife no longer means anything to him, their relationship has been consumed by everyday life, and he is in the family only because of the children. But let's face it, he spends more time with his wife and he goes to bed with her at night. Think about it, are you ready to put up with this?

How to refuse a married man gracefully

Learn to say a firm “no” in soft form. To succeed in this field, you will need to use all your tactful skills and muster your courage. This will allow you to avoid prevarication and eliminate the state of uncertainty.

There is no need to be rude to a man and say that you don’t need him. The refusal should sound firmly, but in a friendly manner, so that his pride does not suffer. In the conversation, emphasize that this format of communication is unacceptable for you, and your position will not change over time.

If you come across an impressive admirer who loves to be the center of attention, then use his “Achilles heel” for a beautiful refusal. Such men cannot be rudely rejected, otherwise it will be a personal disaster for him.

You need to shower him with compliments, tell him what a successful, interesting and versatile person he is. It is advisable to do this in public so that not only your fan can hear it. As a rule, men of this type want to assert themselves and simply test their strength by seducing another woman.

Therefore, give him the desired recognition of his abilities, but only in a slightly different form, and he will remain satisfied, and he will react quite calmly to the refusal of intimacy. The main thing is to tell him about it face to face, so that there are no unnecessary witnesses, and add a hint of regret in your voice, saying that you would like to, but you just can’t.

If you are faced with an energetic and assertive specimen, for whom only victory in sexual terms is important, then you need to act in a radically opposite way. Men of this type are characterized by high temperament, perceive a woman exclusively as a sexual object, and they are not at all concerned about her psycho-emotional state.

Their credo is animal sex and adding to the collection of sexual victories. With such instances, the conversation should be short. It is necessary to refuse directly, clearly and without unnecessary explanation. Don't be afraid to offend such a suitor, because he won't take your refusal to heart.

Such men are not affectionate and do not experience deep romantic feelings, so refusal will practically not upset them. Having received a turn-around, they will simply go in search of more pliable women who will reciprocate their feelings.

And if you meet a fan on your way who is very persistent and threatens to use force if he refuses, then we recommend ringing all the bells. First, threaten in response that there is someone to protect you. Do it decisively and confidently. Don't be afraid. After all, on the part of a man, this can be feigned assertiveness, which he uses to manipulate you.

But it’s better to play it safe in case the obsessive admirer doesn’t go away and continues his persecution. It would also be a good idea to talk to friends in advance who you can turn to in an emergency. If your boyfriend knows where you live, try not to return home late alone, ask your friends to walk you to the door.

And under no circumstances let him into the apartment, even if he becomes hysterical and begs. This is just a way to influence your emotions, nothing more. But we hope that such situations will bypass you and you won’t have to resort to the last point of the recommendations.

Don't give a reason

And one more little piece of advice: the question is how to refuse correctly married man, did not arise in the future - analyze your behavior. Perhaps, without meaning to, you gave your fan hope, and therefore he became more persistent in his offers. After all, quite often there are cases where women find a married man pleasant and attractive, and they convey this at the level of emotions and views.

At the same time, a woman is restrained by strict principles - not to have an affair with a gentleman who is tied by marriage. A situation arises called " and I want it, and it pricks" Thus, problems arise, for the solution of which we have to put our advice into practice.

To avoid this, clearly define for yourself the boundaries of what is permitted and do not let your emotions unsettle you. Because, by playing with the appearance of control over the situation, you can plunge yourself into the abyss of passion, from which it is quite difficult to get out without mental trauma.

Considering our recommendations, if you are faced with the question of how to skillfully refuse a married man, you will not hesitate, but will immediately take practical action. The main thing is not to be afraid to say “no” in time, so as not to get out of a more difficult life situation later.

Let your love relationships be simple and open, and let your man be the one and only! Love, understanding and trust!

Imagine: a handsome man approaches you and politely invites you to have dinner with him. What are your actions? Did you agree? And this is understandable, because he is handsome, and you are completely free. But what if you are busy, and the gentleman is simply not your type? How to refuse a man without offending him?

You can correctly refuse a man - be it a married man or a bachelor - a meeting (sex, dinner, etc.) if you remain calm and convincing. It is unlikely that he will perceive it normally if you mumble uncertainly. He will also be offended and think that he is disgusting to you. Well, how can you refuse a man to avoid unwanted consequences?

Explain yourself calmly

There is no need to deceive, especially if you are not an expert in this.. Ambiguous hints, which can sow false hope of a meeting in a man’s heart, It's also better to avoid, otherwise he will clearly be upset and offended, deciding that you are simply “breaking”, thereby increasing your worth.

About your reluctance to go on a date you need to say it softly, but directly, so that there are no unnecessary questions. It's better not to delay the matter. If a man wants to “hype” you into sex, but you categorically do not want this, say so. If now is not the time, then tell him, if possible, when that time will come, under what conditions.

Flatter

Let's say a man is your type, you wouldn't mind making love with him, but another time. In that case your polite refusal should be seasoned with praise and flattery. For example, like this: “You are so charming, I really like you, but I can’t do it yet - I need some more time to get used to you.” Such a refusal is unlikely to offend a man, unless he suspects that you are deceiving him. But you are frank with him, aren’t you?

Don't neglect his feelings

The man is clearly in love with you, and it seems to you that you, in turn, have fallen in love with him, but you don’t want to think about sex yet. Try not to hurt his feelings, thinking about how to refuse more gently. Tell him that he is very dear to you, but you simply do not want to lose yourself in his eyes so that he doesn’t think that you are a flighty, easily accessible person.

Just friends

It is especially difficult to refuse when a man whom you considered a friend suggested that your friendship be diluted with sex, which you do not want. Main - make up your mind and say that he is dear to you as a friend, but you are not suitable for love. And that's it, no more explanations.

First of all, I want to thank you for the fact that this issue is important to you. After all, many girls don’t think at all about how to refuse a man correctly. Well, I refused and that’s good. Let him go through the forest.

A heartbreaking backstory about how a girl rejected me.

Walking around the city one evening, my male gaze noticed a woman's excellent rear view. Legs, beautiful blonde hair, dressed with taste, gait. Interest arose, and even more fear enveloped my body.

Fear of approach - as it is called in pickup artist circles. This is an uncontrolled process. To get rid of fear, you just need to meet it halfway. Which is what I did.

“Hello,” I said. To which he received in response a surprised, slightly irritated face and silence.
“Hello,” I repeated. And again her silence and businesslike, pretentious appearance.
“Are you always this serious?” - I ask in a joking manner.
“I just don’t see the point in communicating!” - she snapped.
"Understood. Then excuse me,” slowing down.

Let's analyze why the girl refused me?

Options:

• She didn't like me outwardly.
• She wasn't in the right mood.
• I communicated incorrectly.
• I was not persistent (not to be confused with obsession).
• She has a man.
• This is the norm for her.

Understand, that he could have been more persistent and perhaps everything would have worked out, because this is a woman. But I didn’t want to chat for show or to boost my self-esteem. I was interested in the person. She showed herself as she is. Personally, I was not inspired. Looks good on the outside though.

Let's imagine in my place young man, who is not as deeply interested in psychology as I am.

Guy 20 years old. He works as a sales manager, earns $500, thinks about his business, he has everything ahead.

And here he is walking around the city center. I saw a girl. He liked her. He's scared. He makes an attempt to communicate. But the girl didn’t like the guy...

What are her options?

1. Refuse the man, as usual.
2. It’s the “right” way to refuse a man.

I described option 1, plus or minus, in my story above.

Now let’s look at option 2, which is actually why I wrote this material.

How to politely refuse a man

and inspire

I first heard about this technique from Pavel Rakov.
“Compliment - Program - Compliment”

What's the point?

Compliment(masculine quality, not appearance) - You are such a brave man

Program- But I have a young man and everything is fine with us / But at this time in my life I have other priorities / But I like older men

Compliment- I am convinced that a self-confident man like you will definitely find a worthy girl

How do you like this?

What happened in both the first and second cases? Both there and there - the girl refused the man.

What are the feelings, conclusions, self-esteem as a result of refusing a man in option 1?

It’s unpleasant, I’m not worthy, I was rejected, it’s better not to take the first step towards girls (so as not to get “pain” again).

In option 2?

A surge of strength, plus confidence, even greater respect and love for the female sex (and for you personally), the desire to take the first step towards girls (after all, it’s so cool).

More examples from life on how to refuse a man

On a dating site, a man writes: Come visit.

Option 1 (typical).
Fuck you! / Oh God, you’re like everyone else / You only need sex!

Option 2 (correct).
You are such a straight man, but I do it only out of love, although I’m sure you’re like that strong man like you, he will definitely find what he is looking for

How to refuse a married man

Option 1 (typical)
I don’t communicate with married people, period / Better take care of your wife! / I hate men who cheat on their wives

Option 2 (correct)
You are a man from whom one can feel real strength, but I can only create a relationship with a free man, I am sure that such a charming man will be able to achieve what he wants in life without difficulty

Girls, questions to yourself:

1. I want to refuse a man with a purpose

a) increase your self-esteem
b) we are different, we are not on the same path

2. After refusing a man, I want him

a) thought how unworthy he was
b) became even more confident

If you still decide to use option of refusing a man #1 (typical) and “don’t strain yourself,” don’t be surprised why there are infantile men and boys around you with all the ensuing consequences.

Girls! I wish you to be surrounded only by strong and worthy men. Everything is in your hands.

How to refuse a man? How to do this so that a man admires a girl? How not to lower a man's self-esteem? How to make him more confident after your refusal?

First of all, I want to thank you for the fact that this issue is important to you. After all, many girls don’t think at all about how to refuse a man correctly. Well, I refused and that’s good. Let him go through the forest.

A heartbreaking backstory about how a girl rejected me.

Walking around the city one evening, a woman has a great view from behind. Legs, beautiful blond hair, dressed with taste, gait. Interest arose, and even more fear enveloped my body.

Fear of approach - as it is called in pickup artist circles. This is an uncontrolled process. To get rid of fear, you just need to meet it halfway. Which is what I did.

“Hello,” I said. To which he received in response a surprised, slightly irritated face and silence.

“Hello,” I repeated. And again her silence and businesslike, pretentious appearance.

“Are you always this serious?” - I ask in a joking manner.

“I just don’t see the point in communicating!” - she snapped.

"Understood. Then excuse me,” slowing down.

Let's analyze why the girl refused me?

Options:

She didn't like me outwardly.

She wasn't in the right mood.

I communicated incorrectly.

I was not persistent (not to be confused with obsession).

She has a man.

This is the norm for her.

Understand, that he could have been more persistent and perhaps everything would have worked out, because this is a woman. But I didn’t want to chat for show or to boost my self-esteem. I was interested in the person. She showed herself as she is. Personally, I was not inspired. Looks good on the outside though.

Let's imagine in my place, a young man who is not interested in psychology as deeply as I am.

Guy 20 years old. He works as a sales manager, earns $500, thinks about his business, he has everything ahead.

And here he is walking around the city center. I saw a girl. He liked her. He's scared. He makes an attempt to communicate. But the girl didn’t like the guy...

What are her options?

1. Refuse the man, as usual.

2. It’s the “right” way to refuse a man.

I described option 1, plus or minus, in my story above.

Now let’s look at option 2, which is actually why I wrote this material.

How to politely refuse a man

and inspire

I first heard about this technique from Pavel Rakov.

“Compliment - Program - Compliment”

What's the point?

Compliment(masculine quality, not appearance) - You are such a brave man

Program- But I have a young man and everything is fine with us / But at this time in my life I have other priorities / But I like older men

Compliment— I’m convinced that a confident man like you will definitely find a worthy girl

How do you like this?

What happened in both the first and second cases? Both there and there - the girl refused the man.

What are the feelings, conclusions, self-esteem as a result of refusing a man in option 1?

It’s unpleasant, I’m not worthy, I was rejected, it’s better not to take the first step towards girls (so as not to get “pain” again).

In option 2?

A surge of strength, plus confidence, even greater respect and love for the female sex (and for you personally), the desire to take the first step towards girls (after all, it’s so cool).

More examples from life on how to refuse a man

Na: Come and visit.

Option 1 (typical).

Fuck you! / Oh God, you’re like everyone else / You only need sex!

Option 2 (correct).

You are such a direct man, but I do this only out of love, although I am sure such a strong man like you will definitely find what he is looking for

How to refuse a married man

Option 1 (typical)

I don’t communicate with married people, period / Better take care of your wife! / I hate men who cheat on their wives

Option 2 (correct)

You are a man from whom one can feel real strength, but I can only create a relationship with a free man, I am sure that such a charming man will be able to achieve what he wants in life without difficulty

Girls, questions to yourself:

1. I want to refuse a man with a purpose

a) increase your self-esteem

b) we are different, we are not on the same path

2. After refusing a man, I want him

a) thought how unworthy he was

b) became even more confident

If you still decide to use option of refusing a man #1 (typical) and “don’t strain yourself,” don’t be surprised why there are infantile men and boys around you with all the ensuing consequences.

Girls! I wish you to be surrounded only by strong and worthy men. Everything is in your hands.

Have you read the article, but still don’t understand how to refuse a man in your case? Write this case in the comments and I will definitely answer.

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