How to get a girl back if she doesn't want a relationship with me. How to get your ex girlfriend back

Getting your girlfriend back can be much more difficult than starting over with new girl, but if you believe you have an incredible connection, it's worth it. Perhaps your girlfriend decided to break up, or you yourself ended the relationship, but then realized that you made a big mistake - there are many ways to rekindle the old passion with your girlfriend. If you want to get your lady back and keep her this time, just follow these steps.

Steps

Step back

1. Give your ex some space. If you want to get your girlfriend back, the worst thing you can do is call her constantly, text her every two seconds, or follow her wherever she goes. As they say, "...out of sight, out of mind," so give your ex a breather so she has time to think things through, enjoy her privacy, and regain the emotional strength to want you again.

   • Know that giving your ex some space shows maturity. She will be grateful that you respect her enough not to put pressure on her, and will also see that you are mature enough and have something to do.
   • There is no need to cut off communication completely. It's okay to reach out every now and then, as long as it doesn't seem like you're desperate to hear from her and are constantly thinking about her.
   • If she reaches out to you, answer her, but don't run to her the second she calls or texts, otherwise she'll think you're obsessed with her. Just act calm.
   • You don't have to avoid her 100% of the time, but you should limit going to places where you liked to hang out together, and you shouldn't try to hang out with your mutual friends in hopes of seeing her. Think of it as a regrouping phase before victory.

2. Reflect on what went wrong. Every relationship is unique, and so is its ending. If you want to win your woman back, you need to think about what went wrong, what led to the end, so as not to take this step again. Where have you been too controlling, where have you become distant, or where has there been general incompatibility? Perhaps it's simpler - maybe you just didn't get along with her friends, or she couldn't understand your passion for motorcycles. Whatever it is, it's time to dig deeper to find the source of the problem.

   • Make a list of all such things that caused problems in your relationship. Then, find the most serious contradictions that led to the collapse.
   • You may have openly discussed this with your ex before you broke up, or perhaps you thought you would break up for one reason but it turned out to be for something completely different.
   • Once you identify the underlying problem or problems, make sure it is something you can control. For example, if you broke up because of fundamental differences in religious views, or because you live on opposite sides of the country and are unable to move, this will be difficult for you to overcome.

3. Develop a plan to deal with this problem. Before you take the step and start a conversation with your ex, you need to figure out how to deal with this problem. Once you've figured out what the problem was, you can start thinking about all the things that need to be fixed. If it's relatively simple, great. But keep in mind that some problems may take longer.

   • If the problem was your lack of self-confidence, then it will take time for you to develop a positive sense of yourself.
   • If the problem was your jealousy, then work on trusting more and suspecting less.
   • If the problem was the quality of your sexual relationship, then you might want to consider what you can do to fix it, or how you can work on it together.

4. Improve yourself. Everyone can improve themselves a little, and what better time to do it than when you're trying to get your ex back? As long as you step back and give your ex some space, you can take the time to become a more confident, understanding, and mature person. This will allow you to make a better impression on your ex when you try to get her back.

   • Of course, you can't solve all your shortcomings in a week, but you can definitely make a great start towards it.
   • Write a list of the things your ex complained about and the things you want to improve. See how much you can eliminate, or try to focus on what matters most to you.
   • If your ex complained about you being messy, then spend more time cleaning up your home.
   • If your ex complained that you were lazy and always late, then work on learning how to keep your commitments and be on time for meetings with friends and family.

5. Enjoy your own company. You shouldn't spend all your time improving yourself and thinking about your ex. Instead, enjoy your own company: read, exercise, or spend time simply developing your interests and goals to become the best person. If you feel good yourself, your ex will understand this is when you meet again. It is very important to protect yourself before attempting to get back into a relationship.

   • If you're busy doing your own thing, your ex might notice—whether you're going for a run or reading your favorite book in a cafe, if she sees how self-sufficient you are, she'll be impressed.
   • Minding your own business also makes you a more interesting person. When you start talking to your ex again, you'll have more things to talk about.

Make her want you again

1. Give her the opportunity to see that you are having a great time. If you want to get your woman back, then she must see you by chance. Once enough time has passed - at least a couple of weeks - it will be time to return to her social circle, or just "casually" pass by, in such a moment that she can see what an amazing time you are having. If she knows you're sitting at home pining for her, you'll be much less likely to have her want to be with you than if she sees you cheerful, throwing your hair back and laughing out loud with your friends.

   • Go where there is a chance of meeting her, but so that your goal is not too obvious. When you see her, stop and start a conversation so she can see that you care, but don't drop everything and run to her. Instead, have fun with your friends so she'll want to join in on the fun.
   • Whatever you do, make sure you have a big smile on your face and that you're laughing and obviously happy with how you're spending your time without thinking about her.
   • When you meet her, try to be a little nicer and friendlier than usual, but so that your efforts are not obvious.

2. Get the favor of her friends. Maybe the reason the relationship ended is because her friends didn't feel interested in you, or they felt like you weren't trying to make the relationship better. So if you want your girl to want you again, winning her friends will pave your way to her heart. Here's what you can do:

   • If you meet her friends, try to be incredibly friendly, but be careful not to smother them. Let them see what a wonderful guy you really are, and then go about your business.
   • You can even ask them about their ex. Let them know that you are thinking about her.

3. Approach her slowly. After you've "casually walked by" for a few minutes, it's time to take the next step. Start talking to her, asking how she's doing, showing real interest in her life and thoughts. Let her know that you are thinking about her and really care, but don't push her with your feelings. Maybe you just go to her university, or even invite her for a cup of coffee, slowly looking for ways to bring her back into your life.

   • Over the phone or in person, tell her you want to meet again. Behave normally. When you go to a meeting, do not show your romantic feelings. Let her want to hear from you how you feel.

4. Play hard to get. If you really want her back, you should play hard to get so you can actually get her back into your life. Sure, you've had coffee, watched a movie, or even gone back to texting or chatting every few days, but that doesn't mean you have to be completely available to her. You need to find a balance between making her think that you are at her disposal.

   • If you are in big company, let her see you hanging out with other girls - enough to make her a little jealous. Don't overdo it. You don't want her to think you've moved on.
   • If she calls you for a meeting, do not agree immediately as soon as she is free. Path thinks you have a busy schedule and need to make time for her.
   • If you're spending time together, check your phone or text once or twice and let her guess who else you're talking to.

5. Show that you have changed. When you have begun to rekindle your old passion little by little, you need to show that you are now a different person. Don't do those old things that drove her crazy. You can even laugh and point out how much you have changed for the better if you want to make those points clear. If she constantly complains about how dirty your car is, wash it and say, “Not bad, right?” the next time she needs you to give her a ride.

   • Do everything you can to show that you are working on the things that caused problems in your relationship last time and are gradually improving.
   • But remember that you don’t need to change completely - she should still have what she loved about you, so emphasize everything in which you coincided.

6. Make sure she's interested. Before you tell her how you feel, you need to make sure that your plan to win your woman back will work. You should be attentive to signs that your ex wants to not only be friends with you, but also has romantic feelings for you. To do this, be attentive to everything she does and says, and also study her body language to understand that you are at the right stage.

   • Watch her body language when you're together. Is she looking you in the eye? Does he look down from time to time when he is embarrassed? Does he lean towards you when he speaks? If so, she may want to get closer to you.
   • Does she compliment you on how you've changed, or does she just constantly point out your positive qualities? If so, she might want to start dating again.
   • See if she spends time with other guys, have you heard that she has a crush on anyone, or is she only hanging out with you?
   • Does she change her plans to see you? Is there any talk of future meetings in the future? Do her eyes light up when you ask when you can see her again?

7. Tell her how you feel. If you are sure that she wants to be with you again, it's time to tell her how you feel. Choose a time to be alone with her (going on a date, or a simpler but private setting), turn to her and tell her how much you missed her and that you wanted to be a couple with her again.

   • Let her see that you've put a lot of thought into this - tell her you understand what exactly went wrong and explain how you plan to avoid it in the future.
   • Tell her that you've spent a lot of time thinking about the situation and looking for ways to become a better person. Show her that you have already made an effort to be with her.

8. Start dating again. If your loved one has responded to your proposal and agreed to date again, it's time to celebrate, but not too much. Remember that everything should happen gradually, be a gentleman to make it easier to get back into the relationship. Enjoy your dates, tell each other how you feel, kiss, hug, think about how much you mean to each other instead of rushing back to where you started.

   • Remember to take things gradually. You don't need to start communicating 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, go on dates a couple of times a week. You don't want her to feel pressured early in your relationship.
   • Just because you're dating again doesn't mean you have to take her for granted. Compliment her, make her feel special, and let her know how happy you are to be with her again.

Perhaps there is not a single guy who would immediately develop a love relationship with a girl for the rest of his life. Breakups are a normal thing these days that everyone goes through. You break up, they break up with you. How to return ex-girlfriend, if you don't agree with her decision? The men's magazine website provides step-by-step instructions to understand how to achieve the desired result.

But we'll start with what mistakes guys make. In fact, everything is so typical that your story may have many similarities with other stories. The only differences are the reasons why girls left guys. The fact remains the same - the girls, out of the blue, suddenly said: “We need to break up. Don't call me again. I don’t want to see you!”

Depending on what happens on the eve of separation, you can determine the reasons for the breakup. If a guy lost his job and stopped making money, that’s the problem with the breakup. If a guy cheated on a girl, then she broke up because of this reason. If a guy hit or humiliated a girl, then it was this act that prompted her to break up.

There can be many reasons, but the result is the same - the girl broke off the relationship. It's up to the guy: does he want her back or not? Cases of both options become common. There are guys who didn't really feel anything for the girls who broke up with them. In this case, there is definitely no regret or melancholy.

However, the following questions are common:

• “What should I do to renew my relationship with my beloved?”
• “How can I make her forgive me?”

If you also have such questions, it means that you find yourself in a situation where your ex-girlfriend left you, and now you are aware of some guilt behind you. It is the feeling of guilt and regret that a guy experiences in the period after a breakup that makes him a fool who makes many mistakes.

Mistakes when getting your ex-girlfriend back

Why should you consider mistakes when getting your ex-girlfriend back? Because committing them further aggravates the situation. If you do them, then the ex-girlfriend will not return, but will become even more confirmed in her opinion that she does not need such a guy. Do you need it? If you intend to perform well after a breakup and even have a chance to reconnect, then simply don't do the following:

1. Don't be discouraged. The natural reaction is longing, despondency, depression when a loved one has left. You should not hide these feelings from yourself. You can allow yourself to be a little depressed when you don’t want to eat, drink, or do anything. Just don't forget about the following.

First, under no circumstances should you show your bad mood in public. It won't be possible to hide it completely. Among friends and family, you can feel a little sad. However, your ex-girlfriend and her friends should not see your depressed mood. Why? If you're sad, it means you're suffering, and this may make your ex-girlfriend happy, who now understands that she's hooked on you. She doesn't need to be with you for you to think about her and miss her. Your emotions speak about this.

Second, allow yourself to be sad, just don’t do it for long. Remember that your personal time is passing. Your ex-girlfriend may be having fun and having fun while you're feeling down. Don't you feel sorry for wasting your time on something that will not be appreciated and will not bring the desired result?

Feel sad and let go - let this become your main approach!

1. Think about the girl, remember pleasant moments from the relationship. It would be a mistake to waste time on this. The ex-girlfriend may not think about it at all. But what are you doing with such thoughts and memories?

While you remember the pleasant moments from the relationship and think about your ex, only you suffer from this. There is a waste of time on what has already passed. There is a waste of nerves on someone who does not appreciate it. You humiliate yourself in front of a girl because you cannot think about your present and future, but spend your energy on memories of the past.

1. View her pages on social networks. Why guys do this can only be understood in the early stages after a breakup. But why do this a week or even a month after the breakup, this is a question for a psychologist.

As long as you are interested in your ex-girlfriend's life, you won't let her go. Most likely, you are in despondency, depressed mood, loss of strength, etc. When communicating with people and going to places where your ex-girlfriend can see you, you do not radiate energy, light, or joy. This will not hurt the girl at all, but on the contrary, it will please her, because you are thinking about her while she is having fun with others. She lives, and you live, she rejoices, and you suffer. Is the ex-girlfriend worthy of such honors?

1. Beg, convince, persuade to return to you. We can say that this method of returning a girl works in rare cases. Moreover, its effect is short-lived. If you persuade a girl to return to you, she will leave you again in a week or two, since the situation in your relationship has not changed.

Stop making mistakes that have already shown that they do not help you achieve your goal. If you want to get your ex-girlfriend back, then you need to take a different approach.

Step-by-step instructions on how to get your ex back

If you have a desire to get your ex back and renew your relationship, it won’t hurt to familiarize yourself with effective step by step instructions. What should I do? Have the intention to go through everything from beginning to end:

1. Stop looking for contacts with your ex-passion. Everything that reminds or personifies her must be thrown away, removed, broken. We stop calling her, looking for her, scrolling through social networks, communicating with her friends, etc. Let her leave if she wants. Let him live his life. Let her go on all four sides and don’t be interested.
2. Correct your flaws. Now we spend time correcting those shortcomings that the girl spoke about. She doesn't want to go back to the loser she saw in you. She needs someone else. If you want to get your ex-girlfriend back, you will have to re-educate yourself.

Here you need to remember all the claims that your former passion made against you. What was she constantly unhappy about? What was the reason for the separation? We remember everything. This is unpleasant, but you should understand that the girl does not want to return to you, but to the new image that she saw in you.

Take the time to develop in yourself the qualities that she wanted to see in you. If we're talking about about money, then it's time to find a job. If we are talking about boredom, then you should find hobbies and interests. We change to become what the girl wants to see you.

1. Chat with other girls. You should not protect yourself from communicating with other young ladies. You are now a free guy. Even if your ex-girlfriend sees you with someone, this will most likely cause her to... Talk to other girls more. For what?

The first is to broaden your horizons a little and think again about whether you need an ex-girlfriend or whether there are many other interesting personalities.

The second is to note that other girls like you. You already seem to someone to be an interesting and attractive person.

Third, to look at the girls’ reaction to you, your qualities, new skills, etc.

1. Make your life interesting and varied. It's time to take your days various events, hobbies, worries, activities, parties, etc. This is necessary for own development, expanding your horizons, even to increase the number of acquaintances and friends. New activities and hobbies may make you reconsider your decision about whether you need to get your ex-girlfriend back. It may turn out that this desire arose only because of boredom and limited leisure time. And now you have seen a lot of new and interesting things, which are much better than your previous life.

The interesting and exciting life you create may attract the attention of your ex-girlfriend, to whom other people will tell where they saw you and what you did.

How to get your ex-girlfriend back?

Your life has changed. You have done everything as recommended in the previous chapter. But how can you get your ex-girlfriend back if everything happens mostly behind her back and you have no contact with her?

The answer here is simple: you should show the girl everything that you have changed in yourself and your life, so that she gets the impression that:

1. You're doing well!
2. You have become a different person!
3. She has a lot to lose if she doesn't come back to you!

Once again, we emphasize that these three sensations should arise naturally in her, in her inner thoughts, and not because you told her about it.

If you start to verbally prove to a girl that she made a mistake by losing such a cool guy like you, then you will get nothing but rejection. She will not care what happens in your life, since you continue to pursue her, do everything for her sake, create evidence artificially so that she believes you.

Change this approach to another: when you seem to live your life, don’t think about it at all, don’t look for contacts and everything happens by chance. She should herself observe the changes in your life and independently come to the conclusion that she should not part with you.

The last stage will be your communication with your ex-girlfriend, when you accidentally or on her initiative run into each other again. Maintain the position that you absolutely do not miss her and do not want to renew the relationship. No words “Let's try again... I miss you... I remember you... Do you remember how we had it?” Nothing like this should happen. you live happy life and you don’t remember anyone. If a girl is interested in you again, then let her offer you something. And you don’t want or expect anything from her.

Bottom line

The above tips really work if implemented with all the additions and instructions. The girl can be returned. This is especially easy to do if the girl really wanted you to run after her, or doubts her decision. The result of all your actions will be the return of your ex-girlfriend or the acquisition of a new passion, which will be much better than the previous one.

Often people have to deal with when their relationships end. And it all starts with the fact that they do not understand each other, they have different interests and preferences, and people become completely strangers to each other. At this time they begin to quarrel and argue. And if you understand at this moment that you will soon lose your soul mate, you need to act and try to keep your loved one.

But, unfortunately, not all people understand that they are moving away from each other, and if that’s all, the separation happened, then you need to know how to get your beloved girl back, unless of course you want it yourself. Very often, when people break up, it is due to the fault of both, and in the heat of the moment, people can say a lot of unnecessary things to each other, because they do not control their emotions. And when time passes, they begin to cool down and realize that they have said nonsense. Below we will describe how to make peace with a girl and how to get her back.

Improve your life

After breaking up, first of all, the guy must understand what is happening to his life now, what it has become. Perhaps he likes being single - and if this is the case, then he should not try to get his girlfriend back, since the next breakup will not be far off.

And if a guy is very worried, then, of course, he should get his girlfriend back at any cost. Especially sad are those guys who are very for a long time were in a relationship, and just like that, all of a sudden, they were left alone. These are severe stresses for any person, even the strongest and most resilient. But now is not the time for sadness, you need to act and first of all change yourself - perhaps this is precisely the reason for the separation.

Any girl wants her companion to improve himself. You need to sit down and think. Perhaps the girl told you that she didn’t like some quality in you or complained about your character when you were together. Of course, men do not pay attention to this, but although it is necessary, it is so important for the fair half of humanity. Also if you have bad habits that your lady didn’t like, then it’s time to get rid of them. After all, it is better to quit smoking or drinking than to lose your beloved girl. Right? Family happiness is much more expensive and valuable than momentary joy. When you really begin to change for the better, the girl will notice it and will certainly want to return your relationship.

You need to control your emotional state. Remember that you will not have a single chance to get your old girlfriend back until you calm down, weigh everything and correctly assess what happened. Women can't stand annoying and overly emotional guys, as they give them headaches.

You shouldn’t play a comedy and walk around drooping, showing your ex your condition. This will only make her angrier and she will realize that she did the right thing by leaving you. After all, you are, first of all, a guy - and therefore you should not become limp!

Before you return the girl, you need to improve your life. Any girl will be pleased to see that her boyfriend, even his ex, is doing well. And most likely she will return to you to share this happy and carefree life. You need to spend your time having fun, for this you can walk with friends, go to the movies, the gym, or go shopping. Women like confident guys who achieve their goals.

You need to update your wardrobe, according to fashion trends so that the girl understands what nice guy she lost, and she herself wanted to return to you.

Changing our attitude

Girls love mature and smart guys, which is why they choose young men several years older than them as their life partners. After all, an adult is a self-confident person. Of course, growing up overnight will be very difficult. But no one promised that it would be easy to get the girl back; you need to do everything gradually and grow up too. First of all, you need to forget about children's games and consoles.

Jealousy is not your thing

Girls really don’t like it when guys start to be jealous of them, and this is especially true for relationships that have already ended. In fact, if you look at the situation, you can understand that there is no point in being jealous of your ex-girlfriend, because you are not together with her, which means she can go out and meet other guys. Yes, it may be unpleasant for you, but there is nothing you can do about it. The most important thing is not to show this to the girl, otherwise it will be impossible to return her.

Jealousy is a trait that manifests itself in weak people, because it is associated with worries and the fear of being alone. If you make your ex-girlfriend jealous, she will notice it and, to spite you, will provoke you, because she will not tolerate control over herself. If you are jealous of her, then do it in secret.

You need to behave as usual, even if you soon burst from anger due to jealousy, you need to smile in the eyes of your ex. If you are aggressive, then no one will definitely want to be with such a man. When a girl is next to you, you need to have fun and do it with all your heart. With this behavior you can let your girlfriend know that you are a cheerful and cheerful person, and you will also cheer yourself up and forget about the breakup for a while. But if you have depression associated with a breakup, then you need to communicate more with relatives and friends without being alone. And in such a state it is better not to show yourself to your former companion.

To appear to be the life of the party in front of your ex-girlfriend, you need to joke as much as possible and prepare several jokes, just be sure that they are funny so as not to end up in an absurd situation. Before you joke in front of girls, you need to try jokes on your friends.

Preparing for the girl's return

You need to give your ex a little time for her to think about what kind of guy she lost. If your relationship was good, then she will often think about it and miss you. This means that she will try to return to her previous relationship.

The first step for a girl to appreciate you is to stop communicating with her. Of course, it will be very difficult to be apart from each other, but the distance will let the girl know that you are dear to her.

Time for a girl is required for the following purposes:

1. To be alone and take a break from others;

2. For reflection and memories;

3. An opportunity to show and express your best sides.

Chatting with another girl

In order for your ex to begin to appreciate you, you need to start a friendly relationship with another girl, so that she understands that the guy enjoys the girls’ attention, but she has lost it. But no serious relationship there is no point in building - it should be nothing more than just friendship.

If you really start caring for someone else, the girl will never forgive you for this, and most likely she will not want to get back into a relationship with you. You can generally spend time in the company of girls so that your ex can see that you are an interesting person.

Take action

First of all, you need to apologize to the girl if you are really to blame for her. This way the girl will understand that she means a lot to you, and first of all you think about her, and not about yourself. You must prove to the girl that you can identify and analyze all your mistakes.

You can give flowers to a girl. After all, all ladies are gentle creatures and love flowers very much. Even though fresh flowers cannot please a girl for a long time, even the most offended lady cannot resist their beauty. And any girl will first of all brag to her friend about her gift.

Ladies also love to receive and read letters. If you wrote a message for a girl, it means you spent time and want to express your emotions. The letter must indicate that you regret missing out on such a wonderful girl.

Don’t be afraid to talk to a girl, because you’ve lived with her a lot of time and know all her weaknesses. Therefore, it's time to act. You need to invite a girl to a park, cafe or restaurant. You need to choose a place that the girl will like and surprise her. During the conversation, you need to find the right moment and tell the girl that you regret your breakup.

Restore relationships

First you need to establish friendly relations. In order for her to trust you again, you need to become her friend. For any girl, such a quality as trust is important.

You need to do something nice for your ex-girlfriend and surprise her. You need to believe in her strength and help her achieve her goals. You can buy a girl several movie tickets and invite her to spend her leisure time with her friend.

You can spend your leisure time together, for example, take a walk in the park or go to the beach. You need to remain confident and humorous. We need to talk about general topics.

Confess to a girl

You need to tell your companion that your love for her has not melted and you still want to be near her and are ready to change for this. When you apologize, you can say that you would like to restore all relations. You need to choose the right moment for this confession; you must be alone in a romantic setting. The girl will melt and will not be able to refuse you.

You need to remain sincere and talk not only about what was good about your relationship, but also about what was bad about it. You need to convince the girl that you understand all your mistakes and are ready to correct them. You need to show the girl how much you have changed. You need to tell her that you understand everything and cannot imagine life without her.

You need to convince the girl that you are ready to correct all mistakes and solve any problems that come your way. Before you restore your relationship, you need to discuss a plan of action. You need to listen to your girlfriend and understand her feelings. You need to learn to change and then you will be happy.

Adviсe

Below are some tips that will help you get your ex-girlfriend back.

It's worth being affectionate with your girlfriend, despite the fact that you had to break up. You shouldn't be angry with her. You need to remind her that she is the most beautiful and shower her with compliments.

When the relationship with your ex reaches the level of friendship, you should not tell her that you would like to return the relationship.

There is no need to rush into developing relationships, otherwise your union will fall apart again before it even begins.

It is worth noting that people do not value what they have, and when they lose it, they begin to return it.

If you have returned your beloved, then you need to appreciate and love her even more than before.

There is no need to convince the girl that you have changed, she must see and understand it herself. Also, you shouldn’t force a girl to do something she doesn’t want to do.

You need to remain yourself, no matter what happens, and be confident in yourself and approach everything with optimism.

There is no need to quarrel with a girl. On the contrary, you need to clarify with her what you were wrong about and promise to improve.

When you change for the better, you need to let your lover know this.

Girls love confident guys, and therefore you need to be so in her eyes.

If a girl wants to become friends with you, then you need to be a friend to her.

There is no need to stun your chosen one and tell her that you want to return to the relationship when you first became friends. But if you stand your ground, then you need to remain yourself.

If you get together, but do not change for the better, then your union will not last long.

You need to listen carefully to your girlfriend and appreciate her.

When communicating with a girl, you need to be romantic and constantly joke with her so that she feels comfortable in your company.

Don't take a girl's actions for granted.

You need to give the girl gifts, surprise her and make her happy. When a girl is wrong, then it’s time to apologize to her that you did not share her point of view.

If you accidentally meet a girl on the street, then you should not pass by her. You need to greet her, hug, kiss and ask how she is doing.

If you do everything as described above, then you will be able to get the girl back. And you will never regret it. Therefore, you need to be a little more cunning and surprise your beloved.

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