How to get rid of love illness and addiction. How to free yourself from love addiction? Methods to combat love addiction

You have already lost yourself. Lost somewhere in Him - a loved one, where you are drawn with superhuman strength. You forbid yourself to call or write. And my hands again reach for the phone. You feel that this irritates him. You feel it, but you continue to call and break into the door. And he moves away more and more... How to get rid of this addiction?

Many hearts break on the reefs of unrequited love. Psychologists have long noted that, for some reason, it is mainly women who suffer from love addiction. Having become fixated on one single man, often indifferent to them, such women understand with their minds that they need to free themselves from this, but are unable to do anything.

This condition destroys a woman’s personality and is similar to drug addiction. This situation causes pain, and the woman has the feeling that love is torment, almost a disease. Is it possible to be so sick? great feeling How's love? This happens when an irresistible and overwhelming passion for someone cuts a woman off from life, deprives her of acquired experience, and prevents her from being open, strong, and free in the world around her.

A simple technique for getting rid of love addiction

In a cozy, warm, quiet place, try to relax as much as possible and fall into a trance. Imagine very clearly what feelings you would like to have for the object of your unhappy love. It could be indifference, hostility or even disgust. Imagine this person is in front of you. Move it further away from you and make it blurrier and duller.

Now imagine that he does something unattractive or ridiculous, or remember real situations when you did not like his actions or words. Consider these moments in detail, feel them and remember them. Choose 5 such situations. Imagine as realistically as possible that this person is growing old before your eyes, wrinkles appear on his face, his body becomes flabby, decrepit, he loses his posture, his teeth fall out...

Mentally immerse him in a bathtub where there are animals or insects that you feel disgusted with - frogs, mice, cockroaches, worms. He is immersed in such muck that it is impossible to touch him. Again, mentally imagine this person as he is in reality. Are you still dying for him? If yes, then repeat it all over again a few more times. Enough? Count to 10 and come out of the trance.

In addition to the described method, there are many ways to overcome love addiction using auto-training and self-hypnosis. Our psyche is capable of working miracles, we just need to direct it in the right direction.

Logical understanding

To exaggerate somewhat, imagine the future. What can this love give you? Even if your feelings are answered, after a short period of euphoria, tiresome everyday life, everyday quarrels, and fatigue from the presence of this person in your life will inevitably begin. This love will take a lot of your time, energy, money, and nerves, leaving in return only memories, and not always pleasant ones.

Turn to history, remember how many crimes have been committed in all centuries in the name of love and because of it, remember how many madnesses those possessed by this love disease have committed. Do you still find this feeling attractive?

Lope de Vega method

In one of the plays of the great Spanish playwright there are the words: “If you are too greedy for women, look for flaws in the charms.” You can use this recommendation and mentally easily turn any advantages of your loved one into disadvantages. Is your favorite girl not a spender and knows how to save money? Nonsense! She's just stingy! Your boyfriend - good lover? This means that he is improving his skills somewhere and “training” additionally. Yes, somewhat cynical, but what a result!

Pasteur's method

It was Pasteur who proposed the introduction of serum with a weakened infection into the human body to stimulate the immune system. If you are suffering from unrequited love, try becoming interested in someone else. As soon as you feel that you have an interest in this person, immediately cut off this attachment and move on to someone else. After doing this several times, you will get the “medicine” you need. But you should be careful not to fall in love again, since “everything is poison and everything is medicine, the only difference is the dose.”

De-romanticization method

Sometimes it is enough to rid the unhappy lover of the romantic perception of the world, as love passes with him. Conversations with people who approve of love in general will help you. They can be found on the Internet, be it a misogyny club or a Bluestocking forum, but such support can be quite effective.

If this does not help, then for a romantic nature the best medicine is physical labor; go to some work where you need to “plow.” The environment at such a job and physical fatigue in the first month will help you take off your rose-colored glasses forever.

Healthy lifestyle

Idleness and idleness are the sources of all vices. If your head is not occupied with anything, then it is not surprising that it is filled with such nonsense as unrequited love. Those who falsely propagate maxims that have flooded the world, such as “you can’t order your heart,” have simply elevated their own weaknesses to the absolute level, not feeling able to overcome them. Doesn’t it really look like the rantings of alcoholics and drug addicts about their vices? Don't be like them, and you will have a reason to be proud of yourself.

Sigmund Freud's method

Sublimation is a process described by Freud, during which energy initially directed towards aggressive, negative or sexual goals is redirected to others - intellectual, cultural, artistic. How to free yourself from love addiction using the sublimation method? It’s very simple – get creative! Write a best-selling novel, a stunning opera, or a brilliant painting. Don't you know how? So why are you still sitting here? Go and learn! And then express your feelings through creativity, because this is how masterpieces are created!

In such cases, with some imagination and willpower, you can completely get rid of this addiction on your own. Well, in the most severe cases, you should still contact a psychotherapist who can treat love addiction under hypnosis.

It is impossible to live without love, every person understands this and everyone strives to find a real feeling. But it often happens that it only brings suffering and tears. How to get rid of love addiction, we will consider in this material.

What is love?

Until now, humanity has not found precise definition this phenomenon. Moreover, with age it is more difficult for a person to understand what it is. But the child always has an answer:

• this is the mother who will hug and kiss him. The child also wants to hug and kiss her;
• These are friends with whom you want to play and share toys;
• It's a sunny day when you can play outside all day.

Children perceive it more easily, finding great happiness in this feeling. Many adults would also agree to be nonchalant about this phenomenon. But no, it causes so much suffering to many that it breaks their hearts!

What is this feeling?

If you don’t see the chosen one of your heart for a long time, you begin to suffer, think only about him, wait until despair for news or a meeting. If there is no one or the other for a long time, then it seems that the world has collapsed, the sun has stopped shining, life has lost all meaning. Is this condition familiar? This is love addiction.

Even if the desired object is nearby, many do not feel relief, but only suffering. They have an irresistible desire to be with a person day and night, to absorb all his time, to dissolve in him completely. And this does not always lead to the creation of strong relationships; on the contrary, it can lead to a break, because not every person likes having their freedom limited.

Signs of love addiction

Experts have identified symptoms of addiction.

Inability to get ready.

The day passes while waiting for a call, all important matters are relegated to the tenth plan. Previous interests and hobbies do not arouse any interest.

Persistent thoughts.

The image of a loved one does not leave day or night. You constantly think about meeting him and begin to suffer terribly if the meeting does not take place. Even more frightening are the thoughts of the appearance of a rival or rival. This is where the real hysteria happens. You frantically think about how to ask this and what to do.

Nervousness.

If a person does not meet the object of his desire for a long time, he begins to get nervous about every occasion, things fall out of hand. Those close to him do not understand, and he moves away from them.

Depression.

Depression, even severe depression, are frequent accompaniments of love addiction. A dependent person, if he does not experience reciprocity, falls into despair, begins to look for flaws in himself, and even tries to correct them. He is accompanied by a disgusting mood. To bring him back to life, just a conversation or a call from the object of passion is enough.

These signs can be observed in both women and men. But most often women suffer, as they have more gentle and romantic natures.

When a woman is in love, she is ready to dissolve in her chosen one. But if there is no reciprocal feeling, disappointment and pain sets in. The stronger the feeling, the more painful the heartache.

Love addiction has not been fully studied. Who can be subject to such suffering?

• Romantic, dreamy natures , idealizing their object, adding to its image such features that it does not have and never had.
• Insecure individuals with low self-esteem . Even from a routine compliment, they are ready to be inflamed with love for the one who sent them this compliment. Even a polite smile becomes a reason for them to fall madly in love and begin to suffer.
• A woman whose age is… She no longer hopes that anyone will pay attention to her. And if she reaches out to a man, realizing that this is the last chance, she grabs him like a straw. But such a woman will not be interesting to her chosen one, no matter how hard she tries.

How to overcome love addiction

How to overcome this painful feeling? It is important to understand that this is not love, but quite the opposite. An elevated feeling should bring lightness, joy, peace, and spiritual harmony.

A psychotherapist will help you get out of a depressing state. Will it help? Try to get rid of it yourself first.

Do this:

• first come to the realization that the image that haunts you does not exist. This is not a God who must be worshiped, given all your time, your thoughts, and sacrifice your life. Neither your object of passion needs this, nor you yourself.
• It is important to understand that it also has disadvantages. Find them to understand that your ideal is not so perfect.
• take yours free time to think less about your subject. Find a new hobby. Start traveling, meeting new people. Immerse yourself in work, drive away the obsessive image.
• change, at least temporarily, your place of residence.
• sign up for foreign language courses, go to fitness, swimming to find peace of mind.
• respect yourself. Don't wallow in self-pity. Be a confident person. If you suffer from loneliness, then individuals who are ready to profit from your suffering will stick to you.

To free yourself from painful addiction, take yourself seriously. Accept and love yourself, change your image, throw away all the things that remind you of a painful relationship, then you will soon see how your life will change for the better.

Become a full-fledged, self-confident person, then you will meet true love without pain and suffering. If all else fails, then you need serious treatment.

Who suffers more: a man or a woman?

It turns out that it is even more difficult for the stronger sex to get rid of sick love for a woman. His behavior can become obsessive, even aggressive. The lover begins to go crazy without noticing it.

The young man will need a psychologist to get out of this state. After all, love addiction, like any other, destroys a person’s normal emotional state. A woman can suffer silently, not as aggressively as a man, but it is no less painful.

Help in treating love addiction

Psychology is one of the important elements of treatment for mental addiction. It is necessary to find a psychotherapist who has cured himself.

Is this difficult to find? Then try studying in a group of addicts. In a group you will be able to see your experiences more broadly and get a more significant effect from therapy.

There is a more convenient technique for getting rid of the problem - this is immersion in a trance:

• imagine before yourself the image of unhappy love. Remember that he does something unpleasant to you. Consider these points in detail.
• imagine how your subject begins to age, his teeth fall out, wrinkles appear on his face, his body becomes decrepit.
• imagine that he is lying in a bath with frogs or snakes, and you are disgusted to touch him. Now imagine this person as he is. Are you still dying for love? Then repeat it all again.
• To break out of your trance, count out loud to 10.

Methods for treating sick feelings

• Logical understanding . Imagine what this love will give you? After the flame of feelings, everyday life will begin with petty quarrels, hassle, fatigue from the presence of the object of your sigh. Is this what you want?
• Reception of Lope de Vega . Turn advantages into disadvantages.
• Pasteur's technique . Try paying attention to another object, just don't fall in love again.

• Deromanticization . Get rid of the romantic perception of the world by communicating with people who do not approve of love.
• Get rid of idleness do something useful. Severe physical fatigue will help you take off your rose-colored glasses.
• Freud's method . Get creative. Draw, compose, write books. Don't you know how? So why are you delaying? Go and learn to express your feelings in creativity!
• If this doesn't help, then you need hypnosis.

What if he has a family?

Your object of admiration is married man, what to do? Get rid of obsession by overcoming sick attachment. It’s easy to say, but how to do it?

• Don't let the relationship go too far.
• do not forget that he will always be drawn to his children, wife, and established family comfort, and you will be tormented by remorse.
• recognize the problem and burn all bridges.
• go on a trip by deleting his phone number. Delete photos, correspondence.
• engage in extreme sports: the adrenaline is the same as from the euphoria of a love relationship, but does not cause pain.
• refuse the meeting with a firm voice and start a new, free life!
• after breaking up, find a new hobby, fulfill all your dreams that you didn’t find time for.

Hello, dear readers. Today we will talk about how to get rid of love addiction to a man. You will learn what signs this condition manifests itself. You will know what it means for a dependent person.

Differences between love and addiction

Love addiction is a strong passion. It is a psychological problem. Many people mistake addiction for true love, they don’t know how to overcome this feeling within themselves. In fact, there is a difference between addiction and love.

1. The first causes a desire to keep the other half under control, and is characterized by a strong feeling of jealousy. The second is trust in your loved one.
2. With love addiction, there is a desire to live not your own life, but the object of adoration, needs fade into the background. The main thing is the desire of the partner. After some time, a woman begins to notice shortcomings in her beloved, but is no longer able to part with him. This condition is often characterized by lack of self-confidence. In love, the needs of both partners remain.
3. Love leaves individuality behind people when, in dependence, one person demands from another to become the way he sees him.
4. If this is love, then the couple spends time together, both enjoy it, and are bored when apart. With addiction, suffering begins in the very first hours of separation.
5. Love influences the development of a person as an individual and allows him to improve himself. If addiction occurs, then the addict loses himself as a person and becomes confused. Often addiction turns out to be unrequited, feelings are only on one side.

Reasons

Let's look at what can influence the development of love addiction.

1. Unprepared for adult attitudes.
2. Lack of love from parents during childhood.
3. Inability to make decisions independently.
4. Fear of being alone.
5. Severely low self-esteem.
6. Parental overprotection or their total control.
7. Fear of being rejected.
8. Obsession with one's complexes.
9. Willingness to obey someone.
10. Lack of self-confidence, underestimation of one's merits.
11. In childhood there was intimate harassment and mental trauma.

Main manifestations

Each addiction is characterized by certain signs, love is no exception.

1. Inability to be collected. A woman spends all her time hoping that her lover will call her. She forgets about the necessary things, her hobby does not bring pleasure, life loses all its colors.
2. The image of the object of adoration spins in her head throughout the day, the woman constantly thinks about him, suffers, and cannot wait to meet him. If the object of addiction has a new passion, hysterics begin.
3. If there are no meetings with the desired person for a long time, everything literally starts to fall out of hand, the woman becomes nervous about every occasion, alienating all her loved ones with her behavior.
4. Severe depression may occur, particularly with non-reciprocal feelings. A woman begins to look for shortcomings in herself, tries to correct them, although they are often far-fetched.
5. Often calls the object of adoration, asking for an early meeting. The woman cannot imagine how she used to exist without this man. She forgets about all her close friends and wants to be close only to the object of her adoration. There is complete confidence that this man true love. A woman endures, even if a man shows disrespect towards her. Thoughts of loneliness lead to a state of fear and horror. Parting with a man is tantamount to death. There is increased jealousy.

These symptoms indicate that the time has come to think about your life, to realize that such relationships are abnormal, they harm development and existence, make you unhappy, and depress.

Who is more susceptible

Women's psychology is structured in such a way that they fall into love bondage more often than men. But even among the weak half of humanity there are people who are more predisposed to love addiction.

1. Dreamy, romantic natures, who idealize everyone and everything, live with rose-colored glasses.
2. Women with low self-esteem and lack of self-confidence, ready to give love to a person for one compliment or smile.
3. A middle-aged woman who no longer expects anyone to love will begin to grab the right man as her last chance.

How to overcome addiction

Treatment for a person with addiction may include such methods.

1. Logical awareness of what lies ahead. Understanding that the feeling of euphoria will be replaced by everyday problems and quarrels.
2. Pasteur's method. Try to find a person who also seems attractive to you. Switch to it, but don't fall in love.
3. Get rid of excessive romanticism, communicate more with people who do not believe in the truth of love feelings.
4. Lope de Vega method. Try to turn all the advantages of the object of adoration into its strongest disadvantages.
5. Physical activity and serious fatigue will allow you to take a sober look at life.
6. Freud's method. Start expressing your feelings through creativity. Draw, write poetry, pour out all your accumulated feelings in creativity.

If such methods do not help, seek help from a psychologist.

How to break off such a relationship

If you have accepted the awareness of the problem and decided to break with addiction, then you need to act as follows.

1. Get rid of everything that reminds you of him.
2. Write your man a letter in which you thank him and say goodbye.
3. Delete his phone number so you don't call again.
4. Stop talking to mutual friends for a while.
5. There is no need to pour out your soul to your friends, sometimes they can do harm.
6. Go on vacation.
7. Educate yourself and increase your self-esteem.
8. Think only about the future, about what lies ahead, do not stir up the past.

If you love a married man

Women's love addiction to unfree men is the worst thing that can happen. Such a woman is quick to spoil family relationships, she will stop at nothing if the addiction is pathological, she will not even stop at breaking the law.

If a woman is aware of her problem and wants to get rid of addiction, she can do the following.

1. Don't let your relationship go too far.
2. Remember that a man will always put his wife and children first, and you will suffer from remorse.
3. Realize the wrongness of such relationships, cut off all ties. Delete your loved one’s phone number, go on a trip, you can just leave the city, delete everything that reminds you of it.
4. If you don't have enough adrenaline in life, try an extreme sport.
5. If a man insists on continuing meetings, refuse him in a firm, confident voice. It's time to start a new life

1. Getting rid of love addiction should begin with the realization that you are idealizing your partner, giving him traits that, in fact, do not exist. This person is not a deity, you should not worship him or sacrifice yourself.
2. Devote all your free time to some hobby, or better yet, to playing sports. Your thoughts should be occupied with something, you need to think less about love addiction.
3. If possible, try to leave the city for a while and start communicating with other people. Good if you go on a trip.
4. Sign up for swimming or a foreign language course, improve your skills and abilities, engage in self-development, and increase your self-esteem.
5. Come to the understanding that you should not forget about yourself, live for the sake of another person, especially if he does not appreciate it.

Now you know how to get out of love addiction. The main thing is to realize the abnormality of the current situation. Now you are able to overcome this feeling, start new life, full of dating and new impressions.

Strong passion, attraction to a specific person as if it were a drug, painful experience of separation - this is love addiction (addiction from the point of view of scientific psychology). It has a very distant resemblance to love and falling in love, but is very similar to the tendency to gamble, drink alcohol, and smoke. Distinguishes between real feeling and psychological problem codependency is a constant feeling of mental pain that is not characteristic of love filled with healing happiness.

Symptoms of love addiction

Only a person who is able to sensibly assess his condition can think about how to get rid of love addiction. As a rule, a codependent woman or man is so exhausted by the constant feeling of the inexplicable heaviness of life and the need to constantly control their other half that sometimes they subconsciously begin to look for the reasons for such psychological discomfort.

If you notice the listed symptoms in yourself or your loved ones, then you need to take all possible measures as soon as possible to help yourself or others.

Need for remote control

Love addiction to a man or woman is easily identified if you constantly feel the need to call or write to your partner.

If he does not answer calls or texts, the dependent party very quickly becomes depressed. At the same time, there is a sharp decrease in self-esteem, and a feeling of hatred and dislike for oneself develops.

Unstable relationship with your partner

In case of love addiction, the dependent party's attitude towards the partner is unstable. Sometimes it seems that your other half is ideal and the most wonderful qualities are attributed to her. These feelings can very quickly turn into intense hatred and return just as sharply.

The ability to forgive

If the ability to forgive in ordinary life is valuable quality, then with love addiction it is pathological and even sadomasochistic in nature. A codependent person can turn a blind eye to such actions of his other half that contradict his entire being, principles and concepts.

Eager to please

Love addiction to a woman, as well as to a man, is characterized by the desire to please a partner. Sometimes codependent people feel truly unhappy or devastated if they do something that does not lead to positive emotions for their spouse.

How to get out of love addiction?

Awareness of the problem

Getting rid of love addiction should begin with the fact that a person is aware of its presence in himself and, based on some of the signs listed above, is convinced of this. The problem of addiction hinders women and men:

1. build harmonious relationships;
2. create new love relationships;
3. grow as a person and develop;
4. devote yourself to your favorite business and self-realization.

Love addiction to a man devastates a woman, makes her powerless and lifeless. The same thing happens with representatives of the stronger sex.

From the moment a person realizes that he needs to change his life and get rid of the problem, the movement towards recovery begins.

Ways to get rid of love addiction

Visualization technique

In order to use visualization techniques to get rid of painful addiction, you need to choose the most comfortable and quiet place. You should relax as much as possible, throw all thoughts out of your head and feel a feeling close to a state of trance, hypnosis. Next you need to follow these recommendations:

1. Imagine what feelings you would like to experience towards the object of your painful attachment - indifference, hostility, disgust?
2. Imagine your partner in front of you and mentally move him away from you until his features become blurred.
3. Imagine that this person is doing something ridiculous, unpleasant, remember real moments from life.
4. Imagine that your partner is growing old before your eyes, becoming wrinkled, and becoming decrepit.
5. Now mentally immerse the object of your affection in a bathtub filled with something disgusting to you (mice, ants, worms).
6. Recreate the image of the person you depend on, analyze your feelings. Is he still loved and desired by you?
7. Repeat the exercise until you feel your senses dull.

Applying logic

To use the following technique, you need to relax and think about what awaits you in the future. This method is designed for a common understanding of the situation and is especially relevant for addiction after separation. Imagine how much energy a relationship in which you will always strive to please and adapt to your partner will take away from you. You will not be able to relax; short moments of euphoria will be replaced by long, gray everyday life of worries and worries.

As a sane person, you must understand that everyone deserves happiness in life, but to depend on another person is to deliberately condemn yourself to suffering.

"Inverted situation" method

The “inverted situation” method is very effective for getting rid of love addiction. You should not see only merits in the object of sick love. Learn to think about him in a different way: the ability to save - stinginess, a good lover - “training” on the side, etc.

This may seem somewhat cynical, but in fact the technique is effective and quickly leads to recovery.

Replacement method

In especially difficult cases, when attempts at self-persuasion, self-persuasion, visualization do not help, and you do not know how to cope with the state of emptiness, you need to start looking for an interesting person who can captivate you. It is important not to “throw yourself into the deep end,” but to find, for example, a friend with whom you will be truly interested in spending time. This way you will fill your thoughts and feelings with new sensations. The main thing is to control yourself and not fall into the same trap again.

Energy redirection

Since your destiny is solely in your hands, try to do everything to direct your strength instead of constant calls, surveillance and chance encounters for creation. Paint pictures, hit a punching bag, work for three. You should be able to push all unnecessary thoughts out of your head. This good prevention love addiction.

Communicate with people who will instill in you the idea of ​​human self-sufficiency, because they themselves are.

The more you try to understand yourself, the more likely you are to heal. Unfortunately, this task cannot be delegated to anyone, not even a psychologist.