The crisis is the effect of an empty nest. What is “empty nest syndrome” and how to deal with it

Accepting that your beloved child is now responsible for himself and his life is really not easy. But we should show wisdom and rejoice for dear person. And you can occupy your free time with many other things.

Calm, just calm! We are not mourning anyone, but we will only cry with happiness, because our children have become adults, started their own families, and everything is fine with them. Well, you might think that they no longer live with us, but we still haven’t become any less close and dear to them. Now let’s try to make the burning tears shed because the beloved chick has flown away from its parent’s nest a life-giving stream that washes away sadness and brings relief.

WHAT IS EMPTY NEST SYNDROME?

Of course, the birth of a child is the happiest moment in a woman’s life. It is at this moment that she begins to play her main role - the role of a mother. Diapers, baby vests, the first smile and that long-awaited word “mother”, then textbooks and notebooks, school, college. In the whirlwind of events - successes and failures, joys and experiences - many mothers forget about themselves, and only remember that they need to feed and protect their chicks. And so the chicks grew up, fledged and waved their wings to their mothers. All. The nest is empty. No usual responsibilities. The house is quiet and somehow empty. I have a lot of free time. And out of nowhere the question arose: what should we do with this free time? Due to a feeling of loss and emptiness, some ladies begin to actively interfere in the lives of their adult children. And here lies a serious danger.

A MOTHER-IN-LAW IS NOT A COMRADE FOR A SON-IN-LAW, A MOTHER-IN-LAW IS NOT A FRIEND FOR A BRIDE-IN-LAW

“Vasya, Vasechka! Have you eaten? Don’t forget to wear a scarf, otherwise you’ll catch a cold!” - the phrase is not at all from an anecdote. A huge number of young daughters-in-law complain about the excessive guardianship of their mothers-in-law over their “little” sons. The mother-in-law can call her son every hour, come every day, constantly criticize her wife’s cooking and, as if by the way, sighing sadly, say: “What a miserable mistress you have got! That’s when I lived at home, and there were no problems.” Psychologists believe that mothers of sons suffer more from the “empty nest” syndrome, since in this case family ties are also strengthened by the “man-woman” connection. As a result, the mother may develop a spirit of competition, and then the daughter-in-law from a princess turns into an unloved frog for the prince. A similar scenario when a child leaves his father’s house is certainly possible for a daughter’s mother. If mommy considers young man As the kidnapper of your girl, it can be difficult to overcome feelings of hostility. In this situation, parents need to mentally go back several decades and remember with what joy they themselves, in their youth, built a new “unit of society.” And also remember how outraged they were by the interference of their older fellow parents. And it is also necessary to understand that a sense of possessiveness towards children is absolutely useless.

Children love to communicate with their grandmothers - after all, they require a lot of attention, and grandmothers are ready to devote much more time to their grandchildren than working parents.

LET'S DANCE OR MAYBE DRAW

The second half of life is a wonderful age. Life experience, fulfilled maternal responsibilities and a lot of free time. With this wonderful luggage, it's time to go to new life, in which you can do what you’ve always had your heart set on, but never got around to. For example, open your own business, actively engage in social work, or simply enroll in some courses. Why not learn passionate tango or take up choral singing? Imagine the delighted eyes of children when, at a family holiday, their beautiful and energetic mother surprises everyone gathered with her talents. You can do handicrafts, photography, sculpting, or take up a brush. Many women who have artistic inclinations, but have not had time in the recent past to develop these inclinations, can devote themselves entirely to the realization of their previously hidden capabilities. By the way, you can paint not only on canvas, but also on silk.

Remember, having found a hobby you like, you will become happier, calmer and more interesting for your children. And even if they don’t live next door, but on the other side of the world, your children will contact you much more often by phone or the Internet if you share joyful impressions with them, rather than grumble and complain about life.

GRANDCHILDREN LOVE MORE THAN CHILDREN

Grandchildren can become a real outlet for a woman whose beloved chick has fluttered out of her nest. If the newly-made grandmother directs her affection and care to harmonious development and raising children, then everyone will be happy. Teach your grandchildren to speak, read, count, tell them about the world order. Try learning foreign languages ​​with your kids. Study all kinds of methods by which you should develop your baby, and feel free to offer your participation in raising your offspring. Just not in an intrusive-aggressive manner, from the position of “I know better,” but calmly and delicately. Well, if there are no descendants yet or they live far away, and you really want to take care of the little person, there is another option: in orphanages or orphanages, volunteers who are ready to help the kids are always welcome.

When the children have grown up, it is time for the spouses to look at each other again, fall in love and start a new life. Joint sports and a common hobby will only strengthen the relationship.

WHETHER WE LIKE IT OR NOT, OUR CHILDREN ARE GROWING UP. THEY FEEL CRAZED IN THE WORLD WE CREATED. AND IF WE PLAN TO STAY WITH THEM IN AN ETERNAL SOUAL RELATIONSHIP, WE MUST UNDERSTAND THEM AND LET GO OF THEM IN TIME.

Research shows that pets can provide much more moral support. better than people, are excellent antidepressants and improve our well-being. There are good reasons to have a furry friend!

LONELINESS: A PROBLEM OR A STATE OF MIND?

If a person, after the children leave their father’s house, suffers from loneliness, but does nothing to become interesting, necessary and useful to other people, then in fact the situation does not depress him much. If he really is exhausted from the feeling of his own lack of demand and loneliness, then he will fight for his happiness: he will begin to build social contacts with people, learn to pay more attention to himself, and find something he likes.

FEET, WINGS AND TAILS

Another way to distract yourself from oppressive loneliness and cope with a decadent mood is as simple as two, but very effective.

Our smaller friends are real devoted helpers who will fill the emptiness both at home and in the soul. Get a cat or dog, teach a parrot to speak. Any pet that appears in your home will not let you get bored!

LET'S JOIN HANDS, FRIENDS!

Plunging into family life, we, as a rule, stop communicating closely even with best friends. There is no time to organize gatherings once again, go shopping, go to the cinema. And then we call each other less and less often, because we have no time. And now communication completely fades away, contacts are lost. Where are our friends now? And, in fact, what prevents you from finding your classmates and finding out how they are doing. It is quite possible that such a laughing friend will emerge from your previous life, who will lend you a shoulder and brighten up your loneliness. Communicate, do not isolate yourself - this is the most important thing! Communication with people, firstly, gives you the opportunity to talk through your problems, and this will make you feel better. And secondly, you can jointly figure out how to overcome melancholy and start enjoying life again. It is quite possible that even among casual acquaintances you will find true friends. Try searching for a “support group” online. If you are not very familiar with the World Wide Web, ask your children to organize an educational program for you - let them show you how to find the necessary sites, register you in popular social networks and help your beloved mother find a new circle of friends.

SECOND BREATH OF LOVE

The most important role in overcoming the “empty nest” syndrome is played by the relationship between spouses. Often women forget about their husbands, devoting themselves entirely to their children. Volumes have been written about what all this entails. If the relationship between spouses is warm and respectful, then the feeling of loneliness due to the relocation of children will unite them even more. The absence of children will help parents look at each other in a new way and, perhaps, even relive a whirlwind romance, as they once did before. The second one will begin honeymoon, and no one will stop a mature couple from feeling like happy newlyweds.

However, sometimes life develops in such a way that, for various reasons, a woman does not have a spouse, and by the time the children leave their father’s house, she is left completely alone. In such a situation it will be even harder for her. But again, you can look at it from the other side: now you are not burdened with anything, so try to arrange your personal life! The first and most significant step is to start paying more attention to your appearance than before, learn to listen to your body. Join the gym, do yoga. You will change for the better not only externally, but also internally, and then meeting an interesting man will not take long.

FORWARD TO THE FUTURE

In one of Boris Akunin's books main character, approaching the age limit of 50 years, decided to make a plan for the next five years. You can also use this move: think about how you would like to live and look in 5, 10, 15 years. And don’t be afraid to dream and show healthy selfishness! Add your cherished goals to the list and boldly begin to implement them. Remember, we program ourselves, and being happy or unhappy is a matter of our choice! And one more tip: start a diary and write down all your thoughts every day. After some time, the melancholy that you pour out on the pages will begin to weaken, and who knows, maybe your literary talent will awaken in you.

Russian women for the most part are very altruistic. They often forget that they need to love not only those around them, but themselves too. This is why many mothers are so in need of the external love of their already grown children, in confirmation of their relevance, which is why they so grab hold of the “flying chicks”. Calm down, praise yourself for raising and educating your children, let them “fly” and live for your own pleasure. You have done a great job and deserve a good reward!

ATTENTION! All recipes are provided for informational purposes only. Before use, consult your doctor!

Content
1. Syndrome, condition, disease?
2. Dangerous symptoms
3. How to avoid becoming an enemy to your own child?
4. Life according to a new scenario
5. Everything will work out!

Syndrome, condition, disease?

Caring for children is a natural desire of parents, which is a powerful basis strong family. This need dictates the arrangement of everyday life, takes a lot of time, and makes adjustments to the worldview. For many adults, the mission of parents, caring for and protecting their children, is the most important. A cozy family nest is their main task, a source of pride, a guarantee of peace and harmony.

Someday children become adults and begin to build their own destiny. Adults are ready for this...theoretically. In life, from the moment a son or daughter “flies away” to build their nest, everything turns upside down for parents. A feeling of emptiness, anticipation of loneliness, loss of meaning in life are the first signs of a condition that in psychology is called empty nest syndrome.

Dangerous symptoms

Not all parents of older children become “obsessed” due to separation from their child. Yes, a period of adaptation is inevitable, and you need to mentally prepare for it. How long the process will take depends on many factors. But in some cases you need to sound the alarm: the empty nest crisis often leads to depression! The reason for this may be “talking” symptoms:

1. Endless “excursions” into the past. Have you started looking through children's albums more often, your son's room has turned into a shrine, and gatherings with relatives and friends invariably turn into memories of your child? Consider whether “today” is being replaced by the past tense.
2. Excessive control of children. It’s one thing to periodically call each other and have a calm conversation. It’s quite another to carry out “torture” 10 times a day with a hysterical note in your voice, including a huge list of questions: from the breakfast menu to new acquaintances.
3. Unexpected visits and certainly - with your own key. You need to cook, clean the apartment... And it’s okay that the son or daughter doesn’t need such help - the mother knows better!
4. Excessive use of sedatives. Are there more sedatives and sleeping pills in the house? Congratulations, you're in an empty nest crisis!

How to avoid becoming an enemy to your own child?

All adults were once children, but not many remember how they were hindered by parental control. “But in your time I…”, “Mom won’t give bad advice...”, “You still have no life experience...” - these and similar phrases have already become iconic. Let's figure it out.

At the age of 17, did you want to study, work and knew one hundred percent what you wanted from life?
Did you listen to the advice of adults and follow them unconditionally?
Where will experience come from if you try to do everything instead of children?

A personality can only be realized when it has a certain freedom of action, the right to choose, and reasoned points of view. Plus - the support of relatives who do not “break” the worldview for the sake of “good goals”, but gently, quietly guide, and give competent tips. Are you afraid that you will stumble or get burned? Life experience is least likely to be gleaned from books and the annoying advice of parents. It's simple: if you get burned, you'll know what hot is.

Empty nest syndrome can cause a serious illness that you are unlikely to be able to cope with on your own. An acute state of loneliness often develops into panic, and from there to depression and cardiovascular diseases- half a step.

Life according to a new scenario

Growing up children are not a reason to withdraw into oneself, but an incentive to start a new life. Not tomorrow, not from Monday or next month, but today! To forget about the empty nest syndrome, psychologists advise moms and dads to switch to useful things.

1. Think about forgotten hobbies. Surely, at some point, due to lack of time, they gave up knitting, sewing, fishing, and wood burning? It's time to take up your favorite hobby, master its new sides, reveal your talents and, perhaps, become a famous blogger or owner of an online store.
2. Sign up for a gym or fitness class. This will kill two birds with one stone: put your body in order and restore your mental balance. The first classes may be “forced”, but believe me: very soon the gym will become an integral part of life.
3. Go on vacation with your significant other. You don’t have to have a lot of money to do this – travel agencies always have hot offers. By the way, leisure time in nature outside the city is also great!
4. Try to give an abundance of care to those who are in dire need of it. The soul asks - become a volunteer, do charity work, get a dog.

Everything will get better!

Time heals. The main thing is to take for granted the fact that the child has already grown up and is ready to build his own life. There is a happy future ahead, in which there will be new hobbies, interesting acquaintances, long-awaited meetings with children.

It is quite possible that you will rarely see your sons (daughters), but this should not become a reason for reproaches and questions. Don't be offended if they prefer meeting with friends to visiting you (remember yourself). Become their guardian angels who are always there when needed. Believe me: the children don’t love you any less, they will definitely come for the holidays just like that, but now... let them grow up!

Empty nest syndrome is a condition that most often occurs in mothers who lose their children because the latter move.

There comes a time when it’s time for grown children to start independent life. But loving heart the mother is unable to come to terms with this, and every now and then she begins to remind herself of her existence.

In order not to bring your children into a state of increased propensity to infantilism, it is necessary to gradually, drop by drop, squeeze out the mother-guardian from yourself and become a friend and wise adviser for your son or daughter, but nothing more.

At all stages of raising children that accompany their growing up, you are always there. All the scratches, the first abrasions, quarrels with classmates - you are the one who helps your child cope with all this.

It’s difficult to give up all this overnight, but it’s simply necessary. That is why you need to encourage your chicks to fly out of your cozy “nest”.

This will allow the mother to quickly get used to the idea that the children have already grown up and to better prepare for this mentally. And for the children themselves, such a decision will serve a useful purpose in terms of increasing independence and autonomy.

The first difficult stage on the thorny path of life is finishing school. Faced with the need to find a place to study, many families deliberately go as far away from home as possible.

Children are looking for independence, which so far is expressed exclusively in spending their parents’ money.

Parents are beginning to get used to the fact that their little boy or girl has grown up and must trample their own paths along the fierce mountain peaks of life.

After university, many remain in the cities where they graduated from their alma mater and therefore separation from their parents’ home becomes a natural state.

If the child returns home, it is better not to drag out this period for too long, so as not to have further problems. Repeated adaptation to the “empty nest,” you know, is an even more complex process and can have more painful consequences.

If parents failed to let their children go free swimming, or fly, if you like, in time, then they will probably continue to interfere in their lives with their valuable advice.

At the same time, the value of the advice itself is highly debatable, but parents still want to take an active part in the lives of their offspring.

They would already be happy to fill their own cones with life path, but a strong father's hand and a warm mother's embrace still do not let them go.

In the case of the “mother-in-law - daughter-in-law” and “son-in-law - mother-in-law” relationships, such interference in the lives of their children has become publicized in many folklore works. It’s not for nothing that a million jokes are written about the sometimes annoying participation of parents in the lives of their grown children.

From a biological point of view, such attachment seems completely abnormal. All living beings act according to a strictly defined pattern, according to which the mother takes care of the child only until the child is able to provide for himself.

In the animal world, this moment comes when young predators no longer need the advice of adults to hunt independently. Once the line is drawn, no one tries to cross it.

Moreover, most species profess a way of existence in which they do not even know what will happen to their children after they abandon the notorious nest. Only people for some reason strive to take part in everything and look after their children to the last.

The funny thing is that mothers and fathers who act in this way firmly believe that in their old age there will be someone to hand them a glass of water. However, such close attention and guardianship often lead to quarrels already in adulthood for children.

This is especially acute in relationships with grown-up sons, who are not tempted by the prospect of becoming “mama’s boys” in the eyes of friends and acquaintances. This is why relationships with parents are constantly strained.

Things are simpler with girls. They sometimes come to their mother for advice, even when they have had children of their own for a long time. Sometimes they simply need maternal care. However, in no case should you overdo it.

Parents should not be inquisitive and persistent. A daughter can lift the veil of secrecy, but the mother should look behind this veil exactly as much as she is allowed. Only in this case can you save good relationship with children.

Many married couples, having raised children, decide to have another child. And if their physiological abilities still allow, they turn all their attention to this child, which helps them better get used to the idea about the previous batch of “grown chicks”.

It is this baby who again fills their home with laughter and mischief, and if adult children give their parents grandchildren, then the empty nest syndrome completely disappears.

In parallel with the education of oneself small child, a married couple turns into loving grandparents, and this is happiness, no matter how you look at it!

Understanding life makes life itself easier.

“I invested my whole life in him, I didn’t sleep at night, but he grew up, lives his own life and doesn’t even ask about his health.”

How often do we sometimes become disappointed in relationships, in children, in life. This happens when we do not receive anything in return, but invest a lot of our energy, time, and love into this relationship, into the children. But in the end, we are left with nothing in our lives.

The children grew up and flew away. And they don't even call. And questions remain, questions. Why did it all turn out this way: you give and give and get nothing in return? Why?!

Does the river flow from bottom to top?

When you look at little children and how they play, you see that they really want to be like adults. The girl takes the doll, and for her it is her daughter, she puts it in the stroller. The boy plays war, sees himself as a superhero who protects everyone. They want to be adults. We all strive for development, forward. Therefore, it is natural that parents constantly think about their children, but on the contrary, not always. At least this is not given by life. Children receive from their parents and later give to their children.

Why doesn't it work in reverse?

According to the system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan, a mother has a strong maternal instinct towards her children. This is a natural, very powerful stimulus. Thanks to him, a mother takes care of her child unconditionally.

But children do not have strong anxiety and concern for their parents, instinctive, animalistic. It doesn't work in reverse. And this is also a natural mechanism, created so that children who reach a certain age begin to create their own families, and not remain forever with their parents.

And if you think about it, this is very wisely arranged. But sometimes, giving all of yourself to children without a trace, sometimes sacrificing your personal life, career, free time, we seem to have the right to expect something in return, some kind of compensation.

Unjustified expectations

And when this does not happen, we can be offended to the core. After all, we spared nothing for our children, and they? How could they do this? But these unjustified expectations from children often lead to poor relationships in the family, creating an oppressive atmosphere called: “You owe me, you owe me, you will never pay me back in your entire life.”

And the truth is: you can’t pay. This is an impossible task for anyone. Such a task is not worth it. But there is something else - honoring parents, and this is nurtured and formed.

Cultural superstructure

The instinct to care for parents is not given by nature, and it is useless to demand. This is a cultural superstructure that is instilled from childhood. The closeness from the emotional connection that the mother (!) creates with the baby develops in him the ability to feel another, to empathize and be complicit with others, including his parents.

Parents who instill selfishness in their children in the spirit of “don’t give a damn about everyone, and success awaits you in life”, in old age reap the fruits of erroneous upbringing: their children abandon them or “put them in” to a nursing home.

Children with an anal vector, due to the structure of their psyche, have a more developed attitude towards their mother as something sacred, and therefore such children usually do not have problems with giving to their parents, in particular to their mother. Since childhood, they have built close intimacy, friendship, and affection with their mother. But it is they who, if they have strong grievances against their mother, fence themselves off from her, as if taking revenge in this way.

Skin children have a sense of duty and responsibility. If the skin son or daughter is developed and realized, then they will really take good care of their parents. We are talking here, of course, not about a close emotional connection, but financially they will take care of their parents. If a person with the skin vector is not developed and not realized, then he, on the contrary, will sit on the neck of his elderly parents, without a twinge of conscience, count on their pension, and wait for an inheritance.

Visual children will care out of a sense of compassion if they have been taught this since childhood and are themselves in a realized state. Otherwise, it may be blackmail, a game for the public - in order to attract attention to “the unfortunate one.”

Our relationship with our parents is our relationship with a Higher Power.

System-vector psychology Yuri Burlana reveals a very simple and important law of life: a child’s relationship with his parents is his relationship with a Higher Power, with life.

How good his relationship with his parents is (more precisely, the child’s attitude towards his parents - regardless of what these parents were like), his fate is shaped. Resentment towards parents, the desire to disown them, poisons the life of the offender himself. Violating the laws of nature always distorts one's own life.

The training in system-vector psychology by Yuri Burlan saturates and harmonizes a person’s life so much that he naturally establishes a connection with his parents and his children. This happens, in particular, because we understand the behavior of another better than he understands himself, and any complaints naturally disappear.

Parents who have the hardest time

Parents with an anal vector are more concerned about “repaying debts.” This is due to the characteristics of their psyche. The key words of anal people - “the past, the transfer of experience and knowledge” - play a cruel joke here, and therefore dramas between fathers and children often unfold, where both sides do not understand each other due to different natural properties.

People with an anal vector in their unrealized states are directed back to the past, where everything was different, not as it is now, but as it was with their fathers and great-grandfathers.

People with the anal vector are the best, most faithful fathers and the most caring mothers and wives, best teachers. They do an excellent job of passing on experience and knowledge to future generations if they realize their properties for the benefit of society. But in their unrealized states, they pose a threat to themselves and their children. Without realizing their enormous mental potential, they will tend to constantly criticize their children, depriving them of the necessary praise and approval, rather than channeling it in the right direction.

And if such mothers or fathers do not realize their sexual potential, which is very high by nature, then this can result in beating their children. Anal unfulfilled dads raise their hands against their wives. And sexually unfulfilled women beat their children. They themselves do not understand what is happening to them at such moments, and are not aware of it. And this can happen again and again. Children suffer the most from this.

Of course, it’s not at all easy for women with an anal vector. They sometimes, having no help either from the state or from ex-husband, raise children alone, raise them, give them an education, forgetting about themselves, about their needs of soul and body, trying to give their children the best. Sleepless nights next to children. Missed possible relationship with men for the sake of children.

And when the time comes to look back at her life, she realizes that her youth is gone, she is already a gray-haired woman, exhausted by such a hard life, who worked several jobs. And then the grown-up children don’t pay any attention to her at all, and you won’t get words of gratitude from them. They will leave and not say thank you. As if it was meant to be. What should she do now? How to calm your broken heart, to whom to lay your head and with whom to talk about this, so that they don’t judge, but understand?..

Giving to children - and what in return?

What kind of satisfaction can a woman expect who has given her entire life to her children and received nothing in return? What to do about empty nest syndrome? After all, man is the principle of pleasure. And what kind of pleasure could she get without sleeping at night, working three shifts, having lost her relationship? Why, even if everything is good on the outside, are we missing something?

The fact is that in our time giving birth and raising a child is not enough. Previously, yes. This was the role of the woman. This is where it began and this is where it ended. Today, performing the function of past eras, preserving and continuing herself through time, a woman is not filled with the meaning of life, does not receive pleasure. Today she will be a mother at least three times, four times, and she will have at least 10-15 children. And she will raise and educate everyone, and even they will all grow up to be decent people. And they will be grateful to you and give you something in return for your concern. It won't save you from yourself. Now it is impossible to live like 100 years ago and be satisfied with family life.

It is the lack of this gratitude from children and from her husband that creates a gap that a woman must fill by taking her talents and love out into society. Not only for your children and your small family, but by realizing yourself among others. There are children who do not know at all what mom and dad are and are not familiar with this connection. By giving them a piece of ourselves, our love, we are filled much more powerfully from them, from our giving.

Get out of the framework of “my family”, “my children”, look wider at the sides where they need my qualities, my love. Today, women are setting the tone like never before. And the main thing she can do is to realize herself among other people.

And new knowledge will help you with this - system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan. Register

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Ecology of Life: This loneliness and fear you experience when your children leave their parents' home is called "empty nest syndrome"

All parents are faced with the fact that children sooner or later leave the parental nest. They know in advance that this will happen, but they find it difficult to cope with it and it is difficult to live in a house that is filled with memories.

“Empty nest syndrome” and loss of direction

“Empty nest syndrome” can be defined in one way in a simple word: loss. We “lose” children who decided to become independent and independent, went to study far from home or started their own family.

Most often, mothers experience a feeling of loneliness, because before this they were constantly surrounded by children and feel a special connection with them. Children are an important part of their lives and they feel responsible for everything that happens to them.

When you suddenly find the house empty, you no longer need to worry about what time they come home, no longer need to argue with the children and re-educate them.Life has changed, and as a parent, of course this upsets you. Often parents start doing things that really irritate their children, such as calling them constantly.

Try not to beat yourself up too much about your feelings, but accept the situation as it is. Although it's hard, it's time to accept that the chicks have grown up and flown away from the nest and be sad about it completely normal.

How to overcome separation from children

The relationship between parents and children determines degree the severity of this syndrome. As we mentioned above, parents who live alone experience this more difficult. Despite this, they too can overcome their melancholy.

Acceptance of reality. Sometimes we stubbornly resist circumstances that we really have no control over. The time has come to admit that children are ready to live independently.

WITH focusing on your partner . Concentrating on children leads to withdrawal from your loved one. It's time to improve your family life.

Restoring social connections . Whether you live alone or with a loved one, try to regain your social skills. Spend time with friends, go for a walk or do something fun - this will help you forget about loneliness.

Empty nest syndrome can be very difficult to deal with, but don't forget that it happens to everyone sooner or later, so you're not alone in your feelings.

Accept the situation and try to look at life optimistically, because no one can help you if you don’t want it yourself. published