Monogamy - what is it? Polygamy and monogamy: which relationship is better.

Form of relationship in modern world no different from what it was two centuries ago. The only thing is that human morals have become more soft form expressions, while a person can calmly, without fear for his own life, be an adherent of free love or loyalty to the grave.

From time immemorial, every nation has formed the basic forms known to everyone:

• (polygamy);
• monogamy (monogy);
• polyandry (polyandry).

So, monogamy is nothing more than monogamy, a kind of form of family, marriage. This is a relationship in which there is no place for a third. The opposite of this term is polygamy. Most animals are polygamous creatures.

It is important to note that monogamy has its own rules and laws. So the principle of monogamy is that it is legally impossible to tie the knot as long as one of the partners is in a registered marriage. This principle is included in all norms relating to the issue of marriage in all Western countries.

What does monogamy mean?

According to historical research, monogamy appeared later than polygamy. It was believed that in ancient times it was considered a completely normal phenomenon when human society lived according to the law “take whoever you want.” But this did not contribute at all to the survival of the species. Therefore, after a certain period of time, such a historical form of family as monogamy arose.

Thanks to her, the number of conflicts between men over women has decreased. On the part of the father, concern for his descendants began to be clearly expressed.

From a psychological point of view, monogamy in humans has made it possible for a person to express his inherent desire for orderliness. It provided the individual with a piece of stability in a world of uncertainty.

What is monogamy in men?

Many people are interested in the question not only of what male monogamy is, but whether it exists at all. According to statistical surveys among the stronger sex, about 45% of men know how to remain faithful to their wives.

Recently, a myth has appeared in society that monogamy among men is a phenomenon from the realm of fantasy. But that was not the case. After all, almost some of the men on the planet feel quite satisfactorily when they love only one.

It is worth noting that doctors discovered the gene in the blood of some men. It turned out that he is capable of biologically programming a person to connect with more than just one woman, even despite the presence of a girlfriend. Doctors are of the opinion that not all men are capable of being monogamous because... the body gets used to pheromones. In this case, the traitor cannot resist, let’s say, the body of his mistress. Gradually he gets used to it, and sex becomes something like an energy cocktail, which has continuous health benefits.

From the point of view of both physiology and psychology, cheating is useful for men. Because at such moments, cardiac activity and brain functioning improves. Male monogamy is a conscious choice. It can be based on either moral convictions and fear. For example, fear of hurting a loved one or being left with nothing if the secret becomes clear.

Sexologists conducted a survey on this matter and it turned out that about 10% of men do not cheat on their lovers because of the same fear, and the remaining 35% simply because they had a lot of fun in their youth. It is the last category that is not capable of falling from temptation sexy women after all, in their wife they find everything that they have been looking for for so long in other women.

To be monogamous or polygamous is up to everyone to decide. But before making decisions, you need to weigh the pros and cons.

The family, and it is not for nothing that it is considered the unit of society, rests precisely on monogamous relationships. Moreover, monogamy, according to evolutionary scientists, was one of the reasons why man became upright.

The story developed as follows. Primates, distant ancestors of humans, came together for short-term relationships, after which the female remained with the offspring, and the male went in search of new relationships. But some couples became more attached to each other, then the male stayed with the female and helped her take care of the offspring. He went in search of food, and when he found it, he brought it to his family. But it turned out that you can bring very little in your mouth, and the monkeys then ran on all four legs. Then some males figured out to bring food in their then-unformed “hands,” moving on their lower limbs.

In traditional Western society, monogamy is very firmly established. Even today, when women are able to “get food” themselves, even when children are still small, more often these worries fall on the shoulders of the father. This necessarily implies that the family is monogamous. Otherwise, why would a father take care of someone else's offspring? It was this approach that strengthened the position of monogamy in ancient times, although nowadays it often happens that a man accepts other people’s children as his own. But even today, monogamous relationships are considered ideal for raising children.

However, in eastern countries, men are allowed to have several wives, since Islam allows this state of affairs. In countries with a Western mentality (Europe, America and Australia), only one marriage partner is allowed, and this is often even enshrined in law.

The view of psychologists

Despite the fact that monogamy is a generally accepted way of creating a family, infidelity among spouses is very common. Psychologists believe that people must “mature” for monogamous relationships, and this is not easy. The fact is that it is quite possible for people to have deep feelings for one person, while at the same time sometimes being “infatuated” with someone else. The infatuation quickly passes, but during this period the likelihood of committing treason increases sharply. It also happens that a person cheats in a state of passion, for example, while intoxicated. Cases of long-term infidelity are recorded much less frequently, when a person has a married partner and another, extramarital partner, for a long time.

The fact is that people’s feelings are a complex and confusing system, sometimes quite contradictory. Not everyone is able to resist a charming member of the opposite sex, even if they have a permanent partner. Some people have low moral standards; they don’t even try to resist, sometimes even specifically hunting for extramarital “adventures.”

There are those who are sure that monogamy is contrary to human nature. Such people start relationships by agreeing in advance with their partner on such a situation. Such marriages cannot be called traditional, but sometimes they exist quite successfully. This approach to relationships is called

Classmates

Monogamy is monogamy, which presupposes that a person has a single spouse. In modern interpretation we're talking about that one man can only be married to one woman at a time and vice versa.

Initially, monogamy determines the presence of only one spouse throughout life. In the classical sense, a person entering into a second and subsequent marriages cannot be considered monogamous.

Many scientists seriously believe that it was this form of relationship between a man and a woman that allowed primitive man (we are talking about hominids) to survive and evolve.

Perhaps for the same reason Russia managed to survive even in the most difficult times. After all, centuries-old family traditions, respectful and caring attitude towards one’s other half, high moral qualities and ideals were the solid foundation on which society as a whole was based.

Monogamous family

This is a historical, classic look family relations even in Muslim countries, no matter how surprising it may sound. Moreover, modern European divorces and subsequent marriages are regarded by Muslims as consistent polygamy. And this conclusion is quite justified.

A monogamous family, especially in its original meaning (monogamy), creates more comfortable psychological conditions for all its members, has a greater chance of economic prosperity, and is much more simply and fairly regulated legally.

Children who grew up in such a family, other things being equal, are more psychologically stable and less prone to betrayal of any nature.

Conducted scientific research has revealed a number of advantages of creating monogamous families, the main of which are the health and genetic purity of the offspring.

Polygamy vs monogamy

Opponents of monogamy believe that polygamy is the natural state of man, drawing a parallel with the animal world. This statement is quite controversial, but very convenient in the modern world. It justifies the pattern of following passions, legalizes volitional weaknesses and moral laxity in European and Eurasian society.

Man is the only organism on earth whose activity is completely controlled by the cerebral cortex. Therefore, talking about human polygamy and comparing his behavior with animals is not only illegal, but also offensive.

In addition, the emotional state of people in polygamous relationships is characterized by instability of behavior, anxiety and insecurity.

On the contrary, people who have been married for many years are distinguished by greater calmness, resistance to stress, and constancy. In production, a monogamous person is more valuable because he is more stable and responsible.

The lack of competition inherent in a person in a monogamous relationship has a beneficial effect on his psycho-emotional state.

The statement that a polygamous person has more free time, which he can spend on self-development, is also controversial. Since relationships with several sexual partners require significantly more time, they are psychologically tiring. But a measured, orderly lifestyle in a monogamous family allows you to free up much more time.

Monogamous person

The concept of a monogamous person should not be confused with the word "monogamous". Despite some similarity between these concepts, there is still a significant difference.

A monogamist experiences a feeling of love for one person, and lives with this only love all his life. At the same time marital relations things may not work out with the subject of your sighs. Monogamous relationships involve starting a family and getting married.

A monogamous man is a concept applied to a person who is married to one woman. And, when we are talking about Orthodox priests or deacons - about a single marriage throughout life. Even in the event of termination of family relations due to the death of a wife, clergy do not have the right to enter into marital relations again.

Difference and substitution of concepts

What gives the supporters of polygamy reasons to find reasons for negative statements, which sometimes seem quite justified?

It's all about a certain shift in emphasis in the definition of monogamy. The original meaning, as mentioned above, is monogamy. In practice, this meant having one partner (in all aspects, including sexual) throughout life.

The possibility of divorce, of course, existed, but to put it into practice meant becoming an outcast from society (especially for women). Most often, divorce threatened a lonely life for both partners.

The modern concept seems to have been specially “cleaned up” to discredit it in all directions. The meaning is changed in such a way that it assumes a family consisting of two sexual partners who remain faithful to each other as long as they remain married. That is, monogamy becomes like a “respite” in the general flow of polygamous relationships.

You can often hear the phrase monogamous marriage. This is not an entirely correct expression, but rather refers to a tautology. Monogamy is a word formed by merging two Greek words, translated meaning one (only) and marriage. Thus, from the point of view of language, such an expression has no right to exist.

Same-sex marriage and monogamy

To the question whether same-sex families can be considered monogamous, the answer is clearly negative. And here's why. A monogamous relationship is a married relationship. In our country, like most other countries in the world, marriages between persons of the same sex are prohibited. Orthodoxy and Islam, as well as the majority of the country’s religious communities, are sharply negative towards such relationships; there are no ceremonies to crown such unions.

Relationships between same-sex persons cannot in any way be called monogamy, since there is a clear definition of the concept of monogamy, which has developed both etymologically and historically.

Polygamy and monogamy are terms familiar to everyone from school, but how often do people think about what exactly they mean? How does such a definition affect daily life and relationships with the opposite sex? Which forms of relationships are better - those that oblige you to remain faithful to each other, or those that allow you to “introduce variety”? It all depends on the character and personal characteristics of each individual person.

Both forms of family relationships have existed for as long as humans have existed. Today, most people prefer a monogamous form of marriage, where it is customary to have one permanent partner, to whom they remain faithful in a moral aspect. And although for many representatives of both the stronger and weaker sex the monogamous form becomes boring and routine, it is still widespread in most countries of the modern world. Even representatives of sexual minorities practice monogamy, believing that polygamy is a symbol of disrespect for a partner.

However, there are couples who prefer this arrangement: a monogamous marriage that includes a polygamous relationship. Is this possible, and wouldn’t such a situation be the beginning of the end of a relationship in which there is only room for one partner? To understand this, you need to understand the concepts and structures of relationships, existing thousands years.

What is polygamy, and what does the term “polygamy” mean? Translated from Latin in all dictionaries, “poly” means “many.”

Accordingly, the definition of “polygamy” implies the presence of multiple relationships in one person. Relationships in this case imply cooperation according to the principle “I give to many, I receive from many.” Moreover, this type is considered acceptable only if the presence of multiple contacts suits all participants in this same relationship.

Polygamy has several types. Thus, in the modern world there are cases when both partners, before or after marriage, negotiate their connections with other people. In such a family, both the man and the woman, for some reason, are comfortable being around each other, they have a strong and friendly family, but they are both interested in other sexual partners. This kind of polygamy is called swinging or freedom in relationships. Usually swingers meet at thematic meetings or forums, organize parties, etc. Sometimes polygamy - swinging - is one-time, but more often this form of marriage becomes permanent. Frequent or periodic changes of sexual partners introduce a certain variety into the usual sexual relationship of a married couple, making it more vibrant.

It is also possible to have a form of marriage where only one person has outside contacts, while the other remains faithful family values. Polygamy occurs only if both partners respect each other's personal freedom and do not consider relationships with other partners to be a reason for divorce. Polygamy also includes very important point: one of the partners always knows about the contacts of his other half.

If, in a married couple, a partner starts a relationship without considering it necessary to inform his other half about it, rightly believing that the spouse will not approve of such “polygamy,” this has a different definition: treason. They often try to disguise this type of betrayal as freedom in a relationship, but, as a rule, this does not end well for the marriage.

Polygamy implies a high degree of trust in one’s sexual partner, and therefore not every person is able to decide on this, since the sense of ownership prevails. Polygamy in its pure form is quite rare in the modern world.

About polygamy of men

Are all men really polygamous? Usually women whose chosen one was caught in an attempt to cheat are forced to ask such questions. Not wanting to tolerate this state of affairs, the woman declares her readiness to break off the marriage, but the man convinces her not to rush off the handle and not to hope that the next romance will be more successful, because all men are by nature prone to polygamy. Is this really true?

Unfortunately, there is still some truth in these statements. A man can indeed show interest in several women at once - this is how nature provides, males often try to impregnate more females. Simply put, such behavior is inherent in the genes. In the past, even before humanity found faith, earthlings were adherents of polygamy. This was not caused by licentiousness or dishonesty - this is how peoples simply survived, because large-scale wars were not uncommon then, claiming many lives. The male population always suffered in these battles, so society had an urgent need for male children. Gradually, harems began to appear.

Much has changed since then, but you shouldn’t be surprised that at the level of instincts, men still gravitate towards several women at once. However, nowadays more and more men are inclined towards the monogamous form, since feelings of kinship and love for their woman prevail, which does not allow infidelity.

Quite often now you can find married couples in which the man is not only faithful to his wife/girlfriend, but is also not really interested in other women. He finds everything he needs in one, admiring its external and internal qualities, even after many years.

When building relationships, a person only pays attention to the appearance at the beginning, but later the inner side is more important, due to which a strong family connection is formed, which discourages the desire to seek contacts on the outside.

According to scientists and doctors, humans are monogamous by nature.

It’s easy to guess that translated from Latin, the term “mono” means “one,” and the definition of “monogamy” is the preference of one sexual partner over all others. So, monogamy is perfect shape human relationships. Why then are many couples and families destroyed, and the statistics of betrayal are simply terrifying?

According to the same scientists, the reason for everything is the lack of trust in the family. Constant suspicions of treason, jealousy, mistrust - these are the factors that are considered the main problem. As mentioned above, not all couples can boast of complete and absolute trust in their other half and harmony in the family. For others, the salvation of marriage is swinging and freedom in relationships. The remaining representatives of monogamous couples who could not control their own jealousy are doomed to divorce.

The situation can be corrected in different ways. So, the best solution is to visit a family psychologist, who will help you find the reasons for jealousy and mistrust, and also explain on what principles a strong marriage is based.

It is important to see the positive qualities in your partner and not look for the negative. Both women and men still need to improve in life, pleasantly surprising their soulmate, bringing new colors to your marriage.

Elements of polygamy in a monogamous marriage

By studying the basics of polygamy and monogamy, you can find common elements for both forms of relationships.

And if the principles of polygamy are introduced into a traditional family, this will help not only keep the relationship strong, but also add brightness and surprise to the usual way of life. Also, by adhering to the basic rules of polygamous relationships, you can not only solve most of the problems that arise in family life, but also avoid them.

The first and most important principle is not to demand too much. When we get married or simply start a new relationship, we place many tasks on our partner. Perhaps some of the responsibilities will have to be entrusted to someone else: parents, close friends or work colleagues, and leave a place for your loved one ideal lover and life partner. Also, many spouses face the problem of spending leisure time.

It's no secret that different hobbies may well cause a scandal or breakup. There is no need to demand that your husband or wife love golf or folding origami. That’s what leisure and hobbies are for, to get involved in them “for yourself,” and not to force someone to share a hobby. In addition, such a pastime can distract from family worries, give moments of joy and increase self-esteem. And these are not the last components of a happy marriage.

Discussion of family problems should be carried out only with the other half, but it is quite possible to get advice on a new item of clothing or an assessment of a book you have read from friends or colleagues. However, there is a problem that concerns only spouses - the desire for sex. Very often, one of the partners (and this is not always a woman!) refuses intimate intimacy for a number of important and not so important reasons. Should you force your loved one to fulfill his “marital duty”? To force means with my own hands ruin your relationship. If there is trust and intimacy in a couple, the spouses will always be able to discuss the problems why one of them does not want to make love.

Often the cause is fatigue or health problems, with the solution of which intimate life improves. However, if the reason is a loss of interest, there may be two ways out: either seek consolation on the side, or re-win your other half.

Imagine that this person is a stranger and your relationship is just beginning. Such a game will add variety to everyday life, make sex bright and interesting, and refresh fading feelings. If the fire of love has gone out, but friendship and respect remain, and there is no reason to break off a long relationship, you can resort to polygamy.

The main thing is compromise and freedom

It is very important to be able to talk to your loved one and understand his needs. You cannot demand something and at the same time give nothing in return. Most problems in family life arise from the fact that people cannot discuss them, understand each other and find a solution to the problem that satisfies both. In couples where spouses know how to negotiate, the relationship is stronger, because it is built on trust and respect - the main elements of polygamy. Making concessions is often very difficult, because a person feels his rights are being infringed.

However, if at the same time he also receives additional freedom in making any decisions, then such an agreement is perceived simpler and easier in moral terms.

You also need to be able to talk. It is important not only to express accumulated complaints, but to do so in correct form: without shouting or reproach. In response, you need to “hear” the arguments of the opposite side and accept this point of view. It is this kind of constructive dialogue that is considered one of the strongholds of polygamy, and it should definitely be used in monogamy.

The third principle of polygamy is freedom. You cannot completely limit your partner’s personal space. Each family member should have personal interests and hobbies, their own “secrets” and “secrets”. We are not talking about relationships on the side. These should be activities through which a person can develop and grow personally, which will allow him not to get bored with his other half, and to become more desirable and interesting. By limiting your partner’s freedom only to your family and its problems, you can quickly lose interest in him, and this will lead to conflicts and family breakdown.

Monogamy is monogamy, a unique historical form of marriage and family. This concept means that a marriage is concluded between two representatives of opposite sexes. Monogamy is the opposite of polygamy, where a member of one sex is married to more than one member of the opposite sex.

Monogamous Relationships: Pros and Cons

Each phenomenon has its positive and negative sides. Monogamous relationships have the following pros and cons:

Harmony;

A feeling of complete unity with your partner;

The norm of modern society;

Lack of direct competition.

- the realization that you belong to only one person for the rest of your life;

- risk of marriage breakdown;

— limited pair relationships;

- the absence of direct competition, which helps to maintain tone in relationships and strive for self-improvement.

Which husband is better - polygamous or monogamous?

Men, like animals, can be monogamous or polygamous. The first remain faithful, and this does not bother them at all, since they are happy with one, the best and most beloved woman. But polygamous representatives of the stronger sex have difficulty maintaining an alliance with one lady. They strive to have another affair on the side.

Many women believe that all men, without exception, are polygamous. But that's not true. Also, you should not think that if a man who is polygamous by nature sincerely loves you, he will suddenly become monogamous and will no longer be interested in other representatives of the fairer sex. It is wrong to believe that a polygamous man cannot love his soul mate. He can be wonderful and loving husband, since polygamous dependence does not at all prevent him from combining happy family life with your “hobby”.

To understand which husband is better - polygamous or monogamous - it is worth understanding both phenomena in as much detail as possible.

If we turn to animal monogamy, it is based on a biological mechanism - “sexual imprinting”. This is capturing the image of an intimate partner. After the wedding night, monogamous animals simply physiologically cannot change partners, since the male does not respond sexually to other females. His companion is the only female for him. The sexual behavior of animals is controlled by their genetic program. But often there are malfunctions in it, or simply some individuals adapt to certain living conditions and polygamy can be replaced by monogamy and vice versa. So it was with humanity.

Polygamy used to be widespread. But gradually it gave way to monogamy. And sex other than with a spouse was considered criminal and dirty. This concept in society was formed by strict religion. But when its influence weakened, marital bonds began to weaken, and many monogamous people in the past stopped limiting their sexuality to a single relationship. But not everyone became polygamous. The most romantic natures remained devoted to monogamy. After all, only monogamy allows you to feel the exaltation of feelings. With monogamy sexual attraction concentrated on one person and reaches its highest point. And with polygamy it is dispersed into many objects.

With monogamy, sex is not lust, as in the case of polygamy, but real euphoria of soul and body. In addition, get true pleasure The most romantic natures cannot live without love from intimacy. Therefore, the latter avoid sex without feelings. A monogamous man believes that sleeping with an unloved woman is wasting valuable energy and desecrating the source of his own energy. True, there are much more such romantic natures among women than among men. But in the society of the latter, such people are also not uncommon.

A monogamous man is every woman's dream. He can give the lady of his heart emotional intimacy, passionate sex and life together until death. But there is real evidence that monogamous romantics are the most unreliable husbands. This is easy to prove. A polygamous man experiences almost the same sexual attraction to those women he likes. And he chooses his wife, soberly assessing compatibility, and not in the heat of passion. Therefore, with such a careful and responsible approach to marriage, he will not change his ideal partner for another. Especially if he and his wife have children together. After all, in sexual terms, it may actually be possible to find a better lover. But she will definitely be inferior to his wife in other qualities. Therefore, a polygamous man, even if he pays attention to another woman, he realizes that the loss loved one Because of betrayal, which will bring a lot of pain to your loved one, it’s not worth it. A polygamous man himself will understand that it is better to remain faithful for the sake of psychological comfort, maintaining financial well-being and health.

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