Does a child need kindergarten: pros and cons, opinions of psychologists. Is it worth sending your child to kindergarten? Does everyone send their children to kindergarten?

The question of whether it is necessary to take a child to kindergarten is not worth it for most parents. As soon as the baby is three years old - and often earlier - the child goes to a nursery or junior group of a preschool educational institution, and the mother goes to work. Many people who grew up in Soviet kindergartens have not the most pleasant memories of them. Daytime sleep, early rises, many children in the group, a strict regime, semolina porridge and “until you eat, you won’t leave the table” - does the baby need this, is it worth sending him to kindergarten, is it necessary for him to go there if his parents Are you ready to provide an alternative in the form of home education or grandparents?

Why is it necessary for a child to attend kindergarten?

The advantage of the garden for parents is the opportunity for the mother to go to work and dramatically improve the financial situation of the family.

But even if the father earns well and provides for the family, the mother still strives to send the child to kindergarten in order to quickly return to socialization - to work, calmly do household chores and teach the baby to be independent. What are the main advantages of preschool educational institutions?

Allows parents to become freer

The main advantage of the kindergarten is the opportunity for parents to calmly go about their business. Even if the mother works at home, writing articles or sewing, for example, clothes, when a preschooler is at home, is problematic. You need to study with your child, take a walk, feed him on time, entertain him - there is simply no time left for your own affairs.

If the mother is sure that the garden is good, the baby is comfortable in it, he plays with pleasure with his peers and eats well - she calmly goes to work, develops her own projects or takes care of herself. We wrote about how to choose a good kindergarten.

Teach setting boundaries

Spoiled, capricious children who fight in the children's group or constantly push/offend everyone are not uncommon among children who received home education, especially if the child is the only grandchild of a non-working grandmother.

In kindergarten, the child very quickly learns to interact with peers, understands the boundaries of what is permitted. The teacher will not tolerate disobedience; the other children in the group are unlikely to allow constant attacks against them. The child is forced to learn to live in a group, accept the authority of an adult and calmly obey the regime.

Develop independence

In kindergarten, children, as a rule, very quickly learn to be in order - children who attend kindergarten can put away toys, make the bed, help the teacher or nanny set the table by the age of four or five.

The teacher does not have the opportunity for all 20-30 children to tie their shoelaces before a walk or button their jackets - so the little ones learn to do this on their own already in toddlerhood.

A collective example also works well. When someone in a group knows how to use a knife and fork at dinner, pull on tights or put on shoes on their own, the rest catch up very quickly.

We advise parents who are planning to send their child to kindergarten to carefully read the article about it.

Cons

There are few disadvantages to the preschool educational institution system as such.– it all depends on the character of the child and the specific educational institution. What is the reason why many parents refuse kindergarten, despite the advantages?

Requires routine and discipline that is not needed

Many parents believe that it is not necessary to accustom their child to strict discipline before school age. They are of the opinion that:

• The regime for children should be individual;
• When a child eats and when to sleep - only he decides for himself.

In the garden, no one will adapt to the regime that is comfortable for the little “owl” - everyone eats, walks, sleeps and studies strictly according to the schedule.

They don’t teach teamwork and don’t help with socialization

For a quiet, calm child at an early age, a large group will rather be a disadvantage. Such kids learn better to work as a team in small groups of children of different ages - for example, among brothers or close relatives.

At the age of three, children have a difficult time fitting into a group of peers, and early socialization can result in severe stress.

In addition, the kindergarten does not teach how to interact and “be a team.” On the contrary, here children quickly understand that everyone is responsible for themselves.

Poor development of individual skills

If there are 30 children or more in a group, the teacher simply will not be able to consider the personality in each and develop his talents. There is not enough time or energy for this.

1. With a quiet child who can draw well, no one will spend hours working on creativity - two drawing lessons a week will be the norm for everyone.
2. Even if a child has already mastered letters or simple arithmetic operations and is ready to move on, in kindergarten he will repeat with the others a hundred times what he already knows.

For gifted children, attending kindergarten can become an obstacle to the development of abilities. Moreover, the child will get bored of repeating the same thing for many months in a row and interest in a previously favorite activity (drawing, mathematics, reading) may fade.

Causes severe stress in preschool children

For almost all children this is a serious stress. A child can get used to a new routine, teacher, and peers from several weeks to infinity - some children never get used to a preschool educational institution.

If your baby cries even after two months of visiting the kindergarten, is looking forward to Monday with horror, has not made friends with anyone in the group and is not used to the teacher, you need to think about whether it is worth taking him there.

Experts’ opinion: should a child go to kindergarten and why?

The opinions of psychologists and teachers about the need for preschool educational institutions for preschoolers vary. Some people believe that without visiting the kindergarten, the child will remain withdrawn and vulnerable; others believe that it is better to avoid visiting a government agency.

Experts agree on one thing - when choosing a kindergarten or home education, you need to look at the character and individual characteristics of the child. Active, inquisitive extroverts with their grandmother or mother will be unbearably bored, and a quiet, shy introvert in the garden will most likely feel very bad.

Are there “consequences for not attending”?

Supporters of kindergartens cite two main arguments::

• if the child does not attend kindergarten, he will not learn to communicate with peers and will be bored and lonely with adults;
• Without socialization at an early age, it will be difficult for a toddler to build relationships with classmates at school.

Is this true?

Communication with peers

Children two to four years old do not need a large group of peers. As a rule, communication with parents and rare games with peers - brothers and sisters and kids on the playground - are quite enough for them.

From the age of four to five, children already need constant contact with children their age and a little older. Therefore, many psychologists advise sending a child to kindergarten after four years. We talked in more detail about at what age it is better to send a child to kindergarten.

Adaptation to school for children who did not attend preschool educational institutions

If a child grew up completely alone, without contact with children of his own age, without a doubt, at school it will be very difficult for him to build relationships with classmates.

But if the child has friends, relatives or acquaintances with whom he communicates regularly, it will be no more difficult for him to join the school community than for classmates who attended preschool educational institutions.

Possible dangers

The main psychological moment of an early visit to the kindergarten is that the child breaks away from the family and joins the team, where everyone is taught to be the same.

When you are away from your child for the whole day, it is very easy to lose touch with him. For children whose parents are too busy with work, the teacher and peers become closer than their relatives. What problems can this bring?

1. The child adopts all behavior patterns – including negative ones. He can learn “bad things” from his friends in a few days.
2. If children don’t play enough in the garden, this is very bad for their health.
3. When entering a children's group at an early age, the baby can “catch” viruses every two to three weeks, which, contrary to the opinion of many doctors, negatively affects the general condition.

A great danger is posed by situations when a child is unfairly punished without understanding the situation - simply because he was the one who caught the eye of the teacher in a group of naughty children. Such moments cause severe stress in very young toddlers.

What is most important for children under 5 years old?

Before the age of five, the following points are very important for a child:

• psychological comfort;
• affection from parents and relatives;
• home warmth and feeling of security;
• the opportunity to develop at a pace comfortable for the baby.

If you send your child to a nursery or kindergarten too early, he will be deprived of most of these moments. It is very difficult for children who are sent to a preschool educational institution for the whole day - from 9 to 7. In this case, the child does not see his parents almost all the time he is awake - this can result in severe neuroses and diseases.

Which children can and should not be sent to a preschool educational institution?

For some children, an early visit to a preschool educational institution can cause trauma that will be very difficult to cure in the future. It’s worth skipping the queue at the preschool educational institution and postponing visiting the kindergarten or looking for alternatives if your baby:

1. very attached to his mother, does not want to let her out of sight for a minute;
2. shy and very shy;
3. does not like and does not know how to play with children of his own age;
4. has a hard time experiencing any regime change;
5. suffers from food allergies;
6. cannot stand noisy companies.

Frequently ill children should also wait a little while visiting a preschool educational institution and enroll in kindergarten when the immune system is stronger. If the child has a difficult adaptation to preschool, then it is better to postpone kindergarten.

Who really needs to be in a team?

• very inquisitive;
• strives to communicate with peers;
• gets along well with strangers, is not afraid or shy;
• wants to study and do additional things (dancing, drawing, music);
• takes an active position in the team and does not allow himself to be offended.

In this case, the garden will only benefit the child, providing the necessary communication and the opportunity to learn.

If it’s “sorry”, you are afraid of something and don’t want to drive

It’s always a pity to send children to kindergarten - at any age it seems that he will be worse off with a teacher than at home or with his grandmother. But in this case Parents' emotions should not become an obstacle while the baby is growing up.

Only by carefully weighing all the possible consequences of the decision, considering the alternatives, and asking the child whether he wants to go to kindergarten, can you make the right decision. But the opinion of the child himself - if there are other ways out of the situation - should become decisive.

How to refuse?

If the parents, some time after the child began visiting the preschool educational institution, decided that it was worth taking him away, several steps need to be taken:

1. notify the kindergarten manager and teacher about your decision;
2. pick up documents - the child’s medical card, the original vaccination certificate;
3. write a simple written application and refuse a place in kindergarten.

If you do not drive your child, or have refused kindergarten because he stays at home with his grandmother or mother, you must indicate exactly this reason in the application for refusal. If transferred to a private garden, its name and address are indicated.

Alternatives

There are many alternatives to state preschool educational institutions– from a private kindergarten to a mother’s refusal to work and the baby’s full visitation.

Home education

The main advantage of home education is that the child spends all his waking hours with the most dear people - mom or dad. The downside is the mother’s lack of opportunity to do her own business, material losses and lack of communication for the baby.

Private institutions

Not an alternative in the truest sense of the word. Paid kindergartens differ only in their small groups, compared to state preschool educational institutions, and the possibility of choosing food and activities.

Otherwise there are no special advantages, all the pros and cons of an ordinary garden are also present in a private one(How ?).

Children's clubs

Two to three hours several times a week of additional classes and communication with peers is an excellent addition to home education. Another advantage is the opportunity for an adult to do their own thing for a while while the baby is under supervision.

Family establishments

They differ from a private garden only in that they are located in a private house or apartment, where one mother takes upon herself to raise not only her own baby, but also several strangers.

If such an institution has an excellent reputation and good reviews, you can try to send your child there.

Grandparents

A child will receive no less, and sometimes even more, home warmth, affection and love if he is raised by his grandparents.

The disadvantage may be insufficient development– few grandmothers are able to keep up with modern trends in education.

Mom Stories

• Valentina, 35 years old, mother of two children – 12 and seven years old. My eldest did not go to kindergarten - I stayed at home with him, since my husband earned good money and my grandmothers helped. There were no problems with socialization at school - from the age of three we went to all sorts of educational activities, to playgrounds and to visit my sister, who has three children.

  The youngest went to the garden and was constantly sick. At the age of six, they took me away because I couldn’t work anyway - a week in the garden, three days on sick leave at home. I came to the conclusion that my boys didn’t need preschool education.

• Svetlana, 40 years old, mother of 3 children (14, 8 and 4 years old). None of my friends went to the garden, since I myself had the most negative memories of this institution from my childhood. My husband and I raised it ourselves; my grandmother helped, but not much. I worked as a freelancer - the money was small, but necessary.

  The children have no problems either at school or in communication - they immediately joined the team and have friends. Apparently, it helped that the three of them knew how to communicate. Yes, and everyone went to clubs from the age of three.

It is up to the parents and the child to decide whether or not to go to kindergarten. If there is a good educational institution with excellent, proven teachers, a good atmosphere, and the child himself is eager to join the team - great. If not, it’s better to look for an alternative or at least postpone getting to know the preschool educational institution until a later date.

Who, in 5 letters, tells all the most important things about kindergarten, preparation for it and adaptation.

Kindergarten is the first real way out of your comfort zone. Walking in the yard or dancing at a disco in a mini-club on vacation, a child always knows that his mother is somewhere nearby, that she will take his side and protect him. Usually, until the age of 4, a child does not encounter the concept of responsibility; he does not yet have experience of independent living.

A kindergarten can fill this gap. Here the baby learns to take into account the opinions of exactly the same boys and girls (and it may not coincide with his own!).

But kindergarten is not the only place where a child can socialize; one should not write off the old proven methods: a sandbox in the yard, communication with neighbor’s children in the country and interest groups.

If by socialization we mean communication with peers, role-playing games with them, then not every kindergarten has many opportunities for this. The same playroom in IKEA, a summer house or a nearby park with a constant company of walking mothers with children can give your child no less.

Expectations of mothers from kindergarten

Discipline and daily routine

It is no coincidence that the daily routine is used as a health measure by all hospitals and sanatoriums. It contributes to the formation of stable mental and physiological health. A disrupted schedule leads to deviations in the body and decreased immunity. And even the hated quiet hour can be perceived as a lesson in patience. Yes, now you need to sit quietly, but in an hour the teacher will again call you to play outside. The subtle art of being patient a little is what many children really lack. But you shouldn't take this advice literally. Not all experts agree that a child needs a strict daily routine.

Deviations from the regime train the body: from time to time it is useful for the baby to go to bed late, skip breakfast, lunch or dinner, switch to summer or winter time, that is, create shocks that break the established rhythm of life.

Child development

Preschool age is a kind of window of opportunity.

Modern kindergartens (especially private ones) offer a wide range of additional activities. A child can learn to read, dance, attend theater and art studios, and even learn English. And all this within the walls of ONE native kindergarten.

You can develop a child without a kindergarten: study at home, attend clubs. But this will require parents to have a lot of free time and even more patience: after all, everything that teachers take on in kindergarten will have to be done themselves.

Moms' concerns

Frequent illnesses

On average, a child who goes to kindergarten gets sick 12 times a year, and the mother is forced to take sick leave every month, and this is a minus. It often happens that all members of the household take turns suffering from illnesses that a child brings from kindergarten. But the marathon of kindergarten illnesses also has a positive side - strengthening the immune system.

Here is how Dr. Komarovsky comments on this situation:

The number of circulating viruses, and 99% of respiratory infections are associated with viruses, is not infinite. Each acute respiratory infection experienced ends with the formation of antiviral immunity, reducing the likelihood of the next disease. Epidemics, for example, influenza, and the likelihood of getting sick are not very connected with the very concept of “kindergarten” - if we don’t “catch” the disease from children, then dad will “bring” the flu from work. Viral infections that a child “gets ill with” in kindergarten will definitely make themselves felt at school.

Undesirable vocabulary

In kindergarten groups there are children from different families: prosperous and not so prosperous. While communicating, they exchange experiences and replenish their vocabulary, sometimes with words that parents then wean their kids from for a long time. But a child can pick up bad manners on the street, or from television programs, and even the son of his mother’s friend will secretly tell a couple of special words. And if not in kindergarten, then at school, the child will definitely start using swear words; everyone goes through this.

But whether the new vocabulary will take root or not depends on the behavior of the parents.

There is only one way out - to unite with the parents of other children and with teachers. A suggested method would be to get these children together, ask them what offensive language they can remember, and write it all down on paper. Then symbolically destroy these words (you can bury them, burn them, tear them up). In this way, make it clear to children that they should never use all the swear words listed above.

Eating problems

“If you don’t want to eat a sandwich, at least eat butter” - classic nutrition advice from a kindergarten teacher. And also milk noodles, dried fruit compotes and, of course, semolina porridge. This menu is completely different from what the child is used to at home.

If it is not customary in the family to force people to eat when they don’t want to, in kindergarten the child is faced with a completely new and sometimes traumatic approach to nutrition. At the same time, getting used to unfamiliar rules of the game is part of the educational process.

It is important that parents listen to what the child says about the kindergarten and be ready to respond in a timely manner to the inappropriate behavior of the staff.

What should you do to check your kindergarten for adequacy?
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Relatives ask in unison: “Have you already prepared your child for kindergarten? It's time! He needs to communicate and develop!” Mothers of one-year-old children vying with each other to share the results of “castings” of nearby kindergartens. Senior comrades, who are “not the first time”, describe in detail how to toughen up a child (“Although, you understand, we still couldn’t get out of the snot for the first couple of months”), how to teach him to sleep according to a kindergarten schedule (“Well, you know my beauty “He doesn’t want to sleep, so at least he’ll lie down during the day”). And the main thing is how to survive the very fact of “giving” a child to a children’s institution (“He is sobbing avidly, I, of course, am also crying like a beluga, but what should I do?..”). And you yourself, while preparing morally and financially for an epoch-making event, every now and then catch yourself thinking: “Or maybe we won’t go?..”. Are the benefits of a children's team really irreplaceable?

Luggage storage

There is no doubt that kindergarten is a wonderful invention of mankind, a gift for modern parents and the like. But if we turn to the original idea underlying such establishments, it will become clear: a kindergarten is a kind of “storage room” where you can “hand over” your baby if there is no one at home to look after him. It is not for nothing that gardens and nurseries began to appear everywhere only after the October Revolution, when mothers and grandmothers were actively involved in the construction of a “bright future.” They were simply forced to send the child to kindergarten.

Of course, it’s difficult to compare a child’s stay in kindergarten with the position of a “picture, basket and cardboard” in luggage - it’s much more comfortable here, there are friends, activities and walks... But sometimes on the other side of the scale are frequent illnesses and stress of addiction, conflicts between the child and “colleagues” or a teacher, family difficulties and other reasons due to which a particular child may not attend kindergarten. Will this harm his development?

The struggle for socialization

“What about communication with peers?!” - loving parents will get excited. From a young age we are taught that only in kindergarten can a child gain a “full” experience of communication. Let's figure it out, is this really so? Firstly, in kindergarten, the child does not choose with whom to communicate and with whom not, because he spends all his time in a closed group. Secondly, groups are formed based on age. Do we only communicate with peers? Thirdly, a child needs communication - but in such quantities as in kindergarten? Alas, this is a serious test for the nervous system of many children. After all, for adults, a working day, even in a friendly team, causes fatigue. Noise, the inability to retire and take a break from communication, to change activities - all this can undermine the health of a child with a vulnerable nervous system.

Supporters of kindergartens believe that here the child is forced to find a common language with peers and establish himself in the team. And the key word is “forced.” There's nowhere to go! But does your baby really need this right now? After all, children are completely different! One of them, at the age of 4, is ready to lead his comrades even on an Arctic expedition. And another will only show a desire to communicate with children by the age of 6-7, and to force such a child on will only harm him.

Discipline: pros and cons

“What kindergarten should teach is discipline!” - “traditional” parents will say. And of course they will be right. In an average kindergarten, the child is required to strictly adhere to the daily routine and obey the instructions of adults. But... is it necessary to send your child to kindergarten for this? As a rule, by discipline we mean a child’s “overcoming” himself, his desires, and often physiological needs. Would you like some porridge? Let's say "I can't"! Don't want to read, want to run? Everyone will go for a walk, and you will run. Don't you want to sleep? Lie down, be patient. Attention, question: is this process of “overcoming oneself” useful for a child’s health (eating when the body is not ready to accept food; sitting still when one wants to run), not to mention moral well-being? What about the notorious authority of the teacher? Is the argument “I’m right because I’m older!” reasonable? Maybe it would be more correct to develop in a child just a sense of respect for others - but certainly not unquestioning obedience bordering on fear of punishment?.. If you look “at the root”, then the almost army discipline of most Soviet kindergartens served the general ideology of raising the “cogs” of society who are ready for humiliation and do not know how to take care of themselves, and also unquestioningly - and thoughtlessly! - obey authority. Such people are convenient for a totalitarian society. But is this relevant now? Maybe it’s better to teach your child to be organized and responsible for his actions? And aren’t parents, by their example, able to teach their child to put away toys, set the table, and make the bed?

Useful at home

So, if you have come to the conclusion that going to kindergarten is not an event for you, be sure to think about how to ensure that your child develops harmoniously.

1. Communication

Many parents are frightened by the prospect of the upcoming trip to school - they say, what about our child without communication experience? But the absence of a kindergarten in a child’s life does not mean that he needs to be locked at home alone with his mother or grandmother. Go for a walk with your baby where there are a lot of children, invite guests, attend clubs and sections - 1-2 hours of communication a day is enough for your child to become a full member of the children's society.

2. Intellectual development

Until a certain (school) age, the child’s cognitive needs are quite capable of being satisfied by the child’s family members. It is not at all necessary to seat the baby at a small desk - it is even better if he acquires knowledge and skills through games and communication. For example, when you are preparing dinner, is it difficult to count carrots and potatoes with tiny pieces and tell what colors and shapes they are? If you want something “special”, there are many educational activities for children from cradle to school. Here there is communication with peers and elders, and intellectual and creative development. If there are no children's development centers in your city, it doesn't matter! Perhaps you will team up with two or three mothers of preschoolers and organize developmental days at home a couple of times a week. Surely one of you can play the piano and sing children's songs, the other will show you how to count sticks and apples, and your grandfather or aunt has the gift of talking about geography or biology in an exciting game, teaching you how to read or draw... Although the idea of ​​“tutoring” may appeal not only to your friends, but also to students of the local pedagogical university. You will see, from the financial side it will not be at all depressing!

3. Self-esteem and self-confidence

To grow up psychologically well, your child definitely needs to be sure that he is loved and capable. The fact that he spends time mainly with adults may prevent him from forming adequate self-esteem - but only if communication is based either on the principles of a “family idol”, overprotection, or on constant pressure and control (if the baby is with us, then We willaaaaaaaaa. Let the child be... just a child! Let him do what he wants, let him develop according to his age. Of course, raising a child at home may seem much more difficult than the usual “pass and pass” in kindergarten. You have to look for a lot of information about early development, take responsibility for the child, and, in the end, constantly defend your right not to be like everyone else... But this is rewarding work - your efforts will bear fruit, and you will know for sure that development the child is in your hands. Of course, for many of us, parents who grew up in the Soviet Union, the idea that attending kindergarten is not at all a mandatory event may seem absurd and even wild. Of course, there are wonderful kindergartens with talented and sensitive teachers. There are children who love going to kindergarten and happily spend time there. In the end, there are parents who simply have no other choice but to send their child to kindergarten... But if you still have this choice - to go or not to go - make it consciously, weighing all the pros. and “against”, listening to your heart and baby. And not just because you need to send your child to kindergarten.

What about development?

An important argument in favor of kindergartens is compulsory education, the availability of special classes, and so on. But if you do the math, it turns out that in reality a child spends 1-3 hours a day on “lessons” in kindergarten - as a rule, this is drawing, reading, music, logic/mathematics and a foreign language. How economically justified are your costs for these classes? In a group of 15-25 children, the teacher has neither the time, nor the opportunity, nor often the special desire to adapt the curriculum to each specific child.

So it turns out that only a “standard” child will find it interesting and useful to study according to such an “average” program. They are the majority, but what if your baby is “from the minority”? But for a little child prodigy who can read and write at the age of five, or for a busy child who needs to collect his thoughts for a long time before doing something, this “schedule” may not be suitable. So think carefully before deciding whether to send your child - sometimes it’s worth holding off on going to kindergarten.

What's good about kindergarten?

Does my child need to go to kindergarten? They say that children from home have a very difficult time adapting to school because they are not used to being in a group environment.

Until recently it was believed that kindergarten is a truly necessary link in the development of every child. And indeed, "home" children often had difficulty adapting to school rules.

Perhaps, these difficulties were explained primarily by the fact that there were very few such children; the overwhelming majority were “kindergarten” children. Often, children moved in whole groups from the “yard” kindergarten to the same “yard” (that is, in the microdistrict) school. And if a child who spent the first seven years of his life under his mother and grandmother’s wing ended up in the same class, he, of course, had a hard time.

Today the situation is different. Children who have never attended kindergarten are no longer exceptions. In addition, the very concept of “kindergarten” these days is not as clear as before. In addition to the standard state kindergarten, there are a number of other options for “employment” of a preschool child. So children come to first grade with a wide variety of “baggage”: some went to a regular kindergarten, some went to some kind of Development Center, and some even stayed at home with a nanny.

What exactly does attending kindergarten give a child?

• First of all - opportunity communication with peers, inclusion in the group. You may be a staunch individualist, withdrawn and uncommunicative, but you need to remember: From about three years of age (and certainly from four years old!) a child needs to communicate with other children. And you must provide him with this opportunity.
• Of course, in kindergarten the child learns to communicate not only with other children, but also with adults. The experience of communicating with teachers in kindergarten helps the child in the future to avoid difficulties in establishing relationships with school teachers. The baby learns that in addition to his mother, there are other adults whose opinions need to be listened to, and sometimes simply obeyed.
• In kindergarten, the child gets acquainted with certain rules of behavior and learns to comply with them.
• Finally, In kindergarten, the child receives opportunities for intellectual and physical development. Strictly speaking, “kindergarten” education alone is not enough for a child. In any case, parents should work with the baby themselves. But if a “home” child spends whole days exclusively in front of the TV screen, then in kindergarten he, of course, will receive incomparably more.

Are children at home different? Let's look at the main issues

1. Can I provide my child with all the conditions necessary for his harmonious development at home, without sending him to kindergarten?

The most difficult thing in home education is, perhaps, not the intellectual or physical development of the child. It is much more difficult to create all the necessary conditions for the baby for social development.And if you do not want to send your child to kindergarten, you need to think carefully about how exactly you will provide your child with these opportunities.

2. Does a “home” child need friends?

Home child should spend a lot of time on playgrounds playing with other children. In addition, it is very desirable to provide him with some kind of permanent friend of the same age - or better, several friends. You need to take him to visit and invite other children to your home.

3. Communication with adults is necessary!

If you do not send your child to kindergarten because you do not trust the teachers and believe that no one but you will be able to treat the child correctly and find the right approach to him, you urgently need to change this point of view! The main thing to understand is thatthe child needs experience communicating with other adults besides the mother- even if this mother really is the best in the world!

You don’t want to send your beloved child to kindergarten - give him to some club, section, play group. The best thing is if among your friends there are young mothers like you. You can create a “visitation schedule”, taking turns hosting other children. Let your private “kindergarten” “work” only a few hours a day, at least a couple of times a week. They will learn to communicate with each other, and little by little they will get used to the fact that sometimes they have to obey not only their mother.

Suitable age: does it make sense to send your child to a nursery?

The most optimal age for going out into the world is four years. Yes, yes, no less! And please, try not to listen to the persistent advice of experienced grandmothers who are always ready to explain to us that “the sooner the better - the sooner you get used to it”! Because it's not true.

One year old toddler, of course, can “get used” to the fact that for some reason their beloved mother has been replaced by someone else’s, not very affectionate aunt. To get used to it means to resign yourself and suffer in silence, reacting to stress “only” with frequent colds and other illnesses, bad mood, and decreased interest in the world around them. Such passive resistance is far from a trifle; it has a very negative impact on the further emotional, intellectual and physical development of the baby.

Today, most nurseries accept children only from one and a half years. But this is also extremely early! One and a half years is the age when the so-called separation anxiety is just beginning to subside. Simply put, the baby is still too strongly attached to the mother and reacts very painfully to her absence, and equally to the appearance of strangers, especially if they try to get too close to him.

Interest in other children awakens in children only by the age of three.At the same time, at first they are drawn to older comrades, then they begin to be interested in those who are younger, and only last of all do they pay attention to their peers. So, A nursery for one and a half years can be justified only by the most extreme necessity.

Two year oldIt’s a little easier for a child to get used to a nursery. The general rule remains the same - early!By the age of two, a baby can be really very sociable., and if the kindergarten (primarily the teachers!) is good, perhaps the child will like it there. In any case, you can try to take your child to a nursery if you are already convinced that he is not afraid of other children and adults, has the necessary self-care skills (knows how to use a potty, can feed himself), and experiences your absence without much suffering.

At the same time, you must observe the baby’s behavior, mood, and state of health. If you see that your two-year-old is having difficulty adapting to the nursery, under no circumstances insist or persist in your intention to accustom him to the “institution” right now.

Some mothers send their two-year-olds to nurseries not because they really need to go to work, butfor "pedagogical" reasons:they say that in a group a child will be taught to be independent, he will develop faster, etc. Yes, talking all day long with other people’s aunts and being only one of fifteen to twenty of the same toddlers, your child will probably learn to hold a spoon and pull up his pants faster than his “home” peers.But is this really important in itself?At home he also learns to be independent.

Both the age characteristics of a two-year-old child and the quality of our nurseries, in general, lead to the following conclusion: wait, take your time! It has been proven that Nursery pupils are often later characterized by less initiative in decision making, since activity and emotionality are largely established in the first years of life.

This is a tough adjustment

A child who does not adapt well to a nursery or kindergarten does not necessarily demonstrate this clearly. He can behave quite obediently and even submissively, expressing his experiences in some indirect way. The most common form of passive resistance in toddlers is frequent colds.

But there are other points that you definitely need to pay attention to. This is sleep, appetite, the child’s behavior at home in the evenings, after kindergarten. In the first time after starting to visit a nursery or kindergarten, such “delights” as decreased appetite, difficulty falling asleep and even crying at night, domestic whims and a somewhat depressed or irritable mood can be considered “normal”. But if after three to four weeks the situation does not improve, we can say that the child is not adapting well to kindergarten or nursery.

In this case, it is advisable to save the child from attending kindergarten for the next year, and if this is completely impossible, try to soften his traumatic situation: leave him in kindergarten only for half a day, give him an additional day off in the middle of the week, look for a kindergarten or nursery with fewer children in the group.

At what age is it best for a child to go to kindergarten?

We have already begun to answer this question. Let us repeat once again: most psychologists today consider the optimal age to befour years, and quite acceptable - three.By the age of three the childShe is no longer afraid of being left without her mother for some time, begins to take an interest in communicating with other children, and has self-care skills. But he will only truly enjoy playing with his peers when he is closer to four years old.

The ideal option is to start gradually, without haste or making strict demands.introduce a child to kindergarten at three to three and a half years old.First, take him for walks with the kindergarten group, then leave him in kindergarten for half the day.

If it quickly turns out that the child does not mind spending time in a new environment, you can move on to a regular visit to kindergarten. If the baby does not express any special enthusiasm, there is nothing wrong with the fact that until the age of four he will attend kindergarten according to a “gentle” regime.

Don't worry about him falling behind his peers in some way. The main thing is that after three years he does not remain in a confined home space, alone with his mother or grandmother, but gradually expands the boundaries of the familiar world.

O. Zhukova

Dear readers! Did you take your child to kindergarten? At what age? How was the adaptation? We are waiting for your answers in the comments!

Disputes about their relevance are second only to discussions on the topic of vaccinations. The majority, in the old-fashioned way, are convinced that visiting a child care facility contributes to the socialization of the child and the development of his skills of interaction between people. Others categorically argue that kindergarten is a prison for a child.

Socialization of a child - what is it?

The massive emergence of kindergartens began in the Soviet period of our history, when it was necessary to free up women to work on the construction sites of communism. Having children from a young age in organized groups fit perfectly into the idea of ​​raising a “new” person in the spirit of collectivism.
Children's “socialization” in the understanding of modern psychologists and teachers is the development of adaptation to life in society, to communication with others: family members, peers, work colleagues. A socially confident person “hears” his interaction partner, knows how to negotiate, say “no,” express a personal opinion, make concessions, and at the same time remain an individual, himself.

What modern scientists say

Doctor of Sciences, Canadian psychologist G. Neufeld, in the book “Don’t Miss Your Children,” states that the ability to establish relationships (adequate for one’s age) is formed in a child by the age of 6. He warns society that placing children too early for long hours in groups of their own kind interferes with the development of individuality and leads to the education not of individuals, but of “cogs” of a single collective mechanism.

Russian psychologist L. Petranovskaya also wonders Is it worth sending your child to kindergarten?, if you can successfully teach communication with peers outside of its walls. Kindergarten, in her opinion, is just a convenient service for parents that has no “pedagogical meaning.”

The genetic program, embedded in the human psyche by nature and worked out over centuries, provides for the likelihood of survival of a defenseless baby in a small environment of recognizable YOURS - parents and relatives of different ages.

Leaving a baby in an unfamiliar place among strange adults and a crowd of children is extremely stressful, which can leave a traumatic mark for life. A small child has no concept of time, he does not understand the consolations that his mother will definitely come and take him away. He doesn’t calm down, he just gets tired of his own crying (essentially a cry for help). The helpless little man experiences panic fear, because in the understanding of the baby, his mother left him, abandoned him. A basic need suffers - the need for security. Trust in the mother is destroyed, and at the same time in the whole world, frightening with its unknown. The situation of fear of losing a mother (especially a repeated one) can form the basis of neuroses, depression, lack of initiative and addictions that manifest themselves in older age and adulthood. Psychological and pedagogical research has shown that some primary schoolchildren and even teenagers continue to experience severe anxiety during prolonged separation from their attachment figure.