Why do men come back?
It would seem that divorce is an extreme measure, after which there can be no talk of restoring the family. But, according to statistics, every third man after a divorce would like to return to his ex-wife, and every fourth man does so. Why do men return to their families after divorce?
A few years after marriage, many men begin to feel burdened by the bonds of marriage. Some husbands declare that they are incapable of family life, that they are not ready for a large number of responsibilities, or even strive to find adventures on the side. 
Problems can begin even after a couple of decades of marriage. When going through a midlife crisis, a man sometimes believes that his family doesn’t understand him, he wasted half his life, and his wife has changed a lot, not for the better.
In these cases, men often choose a drastic solution - divorce. However, if the marriage is married, then divorce is virtually impossible for a believing man, only in case of infidelity by his wife.
According to psychologists, a man experiences divorce more easily than a woman. They have virtually no “post-divorce syndrome,” when separation from their wife is acutely experienced. However, the much-desired new life that men who decide to get a divorce strive for often disappoints their expectations. 
Do husbands return after divorce?
Sometimes after a divorce, not even six months have passed before the ex-husband begins trying to return to his wife. Sometimes people leave for ex-wives from new families: there all the difficult stages of family life need to be gone through again, whereas in the previous family much has been settled long ago and each other’s habits have been studied.
Only after leaving their family and returning to a single life do many men realize how much they loved their wife and children. “We don’t keep what we have, and when we lose it, we cry.”
In the male community, returning to a wife is often secretly frowned upon; it is considered a sign of weakness, which is why many men never dare to return, although they suffer from depression and longing for their family.
Pavlov's dog
Do we often think about how important the established order of things is for us? Men quickly get used to the way of life established in the family. Next to his wife, it is easier and clearer for him, he knows what will lead to praise and what can lead to conflict.
The wife becomes a “life friend” about whom the husband knows almost everything (and who knows him just as well).
It is sometimes difficult to refuse a three-course meal prepared the way a man likes it, traditional walks with his son, and even his favorite sofa, from which it is so comfortable to watch football!
Calculating Males
In many cases, a man is connected with a woman not only by a common feeling, but also by joint property. Then the husband may return because rent is expensive, but living in his ex-wife’s apartment could be practically free. And with a joint budget, life was better than on one salary.
Whether or not to accept a man who clearly needs to make his own existence easier is up to the ex-wife to decide. Such marriages can last a long time, but often there is no happiness in them.
The same is true when the husband is dependent on the relatives of his ex-wife. He may work for one of them, or seek their protection.
Sometimes after a divorce a man is left without a good job and cannot find a similar position. In such cases, sometimes a decision is made to return: for the sake of a good salary, for the sake of connections.
Alternate airfield
Some men prefer to live “on two fronts”: they feel good in their new life, but they continue to perceive their old family as a place where they can always return if things don’t work out.
They may spend several days a week with the family, be interested in the personal life of their ex-wife (and even be jealous), and promise that they will return soon.
If the wife still loves her husband, this life can continue for years. She will try to please him, to be “ideal,” and he will take it for granted. Most likely, the ex-husband will not return “for good.” Why, if he is already satisfied with everything?
How to get back together with your ex
Before you start trying to get back together with your ex-husband, you should ask yourself a few questions:
- What do I need from this relationship?
- What didn’t suit me in family life? Is there a chance this will change?
- Do I want to be together with this particular person, or is it just important for me “not to be alone”?
- How do I see our future together?
- How will conflicts be resolved in the family?
If it turns out that your fear of being left alone, the fear of not meeting “your” person again, is telling you, it’s better to wait a while before resuming your relationship. Longing after a breakup is quite natural, and new love will come in due time.
You also need to be careful when it is obvious that your ex-husband does not need you, that it is convenient and beneficial for him to be in the family. Are you ready to spend the best years of your life with a man who sees you not as the woman he loves, but as a housekeeper, sponsor or relative of an important boss?
If you are firm in your decision to get back together with your ex, then you should take several steps:
- Respect yourself. Do not humiliate yourself in front of your husband, do not cry or beg.
- Change, at least a little. Get a new haircut, sign up for a fitness class, treat yourself. Show your husband that you are a beautiful woman who attracts attention and who you want to be with.
- Take your time. Give your husband time to think. Talk to him politely, friendly, ask how things are going, offer help (but everything in moderation).
- Don't blame yourself in what happened. It’s like you’re starting your story all over again; there’s no need to stir up the past over and over again.
- If possible, from time to time, attend interesting events together, go to a cafe for lunch, in a word, remember how your romance began.
- Hint to mutual friends that you don’t hold a grudge against your ex-husband, that he is still important to you, that you treat him well and appreciate him. Don't overdo it! There is no need to show once again how much you suffer and how bad you feel without him.
A second marriage to the same person is not a rare occurrence. This is an opportunity to take into account your mistakes and learn to appreciate what you almost lost.