Psychology of adultery. Marital infidelity.

State educational institution

higher professional education

"Oryol State University"

Faculty of Pedagogy and Psychology

Department of Psychological and Pedagogical Technology

ABSTRACT

Psychology of adultery

4th year students

Chechekina A.V.

Teacher:

Goltsova T.V.

Eagle - 2009

Introduction………………………………………………………………....3

1. The concept and types of adultery ……………………….…..4

2. Causes of adultery……………………………………8

3. Therapy of adultery……………………………………..12

Conclusion……………………………………………………………….15

References…………………………………………………………………17

Introduction.

How many years humanity has existed, probably the same amount of deceit has existed. Ancient philosophers wrote about him, it is written about him in the Bible: life develops, goes forward, and deceptions still accompany our life, bring a lot of trouble into it.

Among the many problems that arise in marriage, the problem of infidelity is probably one of the most painful. The initial manifestation of adultery came from the need for a man to be sure of the consanguinity of his children. The highest law of marriage at all times was fidelity. And while love marriage is considered the ideal, in many sections of society, love is not considered a necessary condition for marriage. Despite the passage of time, the concepts of "treason and loyalty" have not lost their relevance. Love for a modern family is an important basis for marriage, often the only motive for its conclusion. Therefore, infidelity can lead to the destruction of a marriage or a serious crisis.

The most typical problem in marital therapy is extramarital contacts and relationships - adultery. Adultery almost always leads to various types destruction of family relationships - quarrels, conflicts, crisis, divorces. Based on this, the role of therapeutic assistance, which can be provided by a qualified specialist, increases.

Fidelity is an obligation to a marriage partner; it is the knot that holds together not only a marriage union, but also any other. The opposite fidelity is treason. Treason has always been considered a shame and equated with betrayal. Cheating in marriage is the result of contradictions, conflicts, carries a lot of psychological motives. As a result of adultery, marital life is often destroyed. Disappointment in family life leads to betrayal of a person. adultery can be found in almost healthy families, and may be absent in the destroyed ones. It should be noted that in practice family counseling infidelity is quite common - it is every fourth case. Cheating not only threatens the integrity of the family, affects marital feelings, as well as a sense of personal dignity, but is also accompanied by a deep sense of jealousy, destructive in itself. The experience depends on how often it happened before, betrayal hurts more a gullible and devoted person, in whom it does not fit into his morality. For a number of people, the partner's remorse, a frank explanation, is very important. If third parties become aware of the betrayal, and if they begin to intervene, then the situation only worsens. The depth of the experience of betrayal most of all depends on the strength of love for a partner and the magnitude of the fear of losing him. Here comes the question of whether to tell your partner about cheating or not. It is clear that a person who has committed treason carries a burden on his soul and he wants to get rid of it. Sometimes the feelings of guilt are so strong that a person even wants to be punished in order to get rid of the burden. He wants to share this burden with a partner, but whether he can do it is often not thought about. It is also necessary to anticipate the partner's reaction - he will be deeply hurt, offended by your confession, he will feel betrayed and humiliated. Not every person will be able to forgive betrayal or never reproach it. However, seeing sincere repentance, loving person still be able to forgive, many families who have survived such a situation unite more strongly, realizing how valuable relationships are for them, which once almost were destroyed.

The concept and types of adultery

Problems related to adultery are among the most frequently encountered in the practice of family counseling. In most cases, women apply for psychological help regarding infidelity.

Extramarital contacts and relationships, traditionally referred to as "treason", are otherwise called adultery, which is translated from French (adultere) - adultery, adultery, adultery. In the dictionary of the Russian language S.I. Ozhegov unfaithful such a person is called "who cannot be trusted, who has violated his obligations to someone or something", and treason is interpreted as "a violation of loyalty to someone or something." Based on these definitions, adultery should be considered as a violation of fidelity in relation to the person with whom the marriage union is concluded. The main indicators of adultery are sexual relations with another partner and a ban on them by the marriage partner, conspiracy of meetings, while the presence of an emotional connection is not necessary. Thus, adultery can be defined as voluntary sexual relations with an extramarital partner, in which one of the spouses enters secretly or without the permission of the person with whom the marital union is concluded.

Change as a variant of violation married life differs significantly from other types of family destruction: conflicts, quarrels, antisocial behavior, crises, divorces, etc. Adultery can occur in practically healthy, socially prosperous families and be absent in destroyed ones. The area of ​​its manifestation is the sexual-love relations of spouses, while a quarrel, conflict, crisis do not have such qualitative certainty and can develop in the field of domestic, economic, parental and other relations. Although betrayal does not concern family relationships in general, but only the area of ​​​​marital feelings, since its participants are only marriage partners, other family members are involved in its experience, which always negatively affects the family atmosphere as a whole, can lead to a serious crisis or breakup of marriage.

No matter how some researchers try to justify adultery, referring to the words of F. Engels that “there are no means against adultery, as against death”, calling for a philosophical attitude to life, one should not forget about the consequences of such love interests. Firstly, adultery threatens the integrity of the family, affecting such important foundations as marital feelings. Secondly, the violation of relations in the marital substructure is transferred to other aspects of family life, destroying emotional, domestic, economic, and even parent-child relationship. Thirdly, a love-sexual relationship on the side is accompanied by feelings of jealousy, resentment, suffering of a deceived partner, which introduces deep affects into the family drama, destructive in themselves. Fourthly, extramarital affairs affect the sense of honor and personal dignity of the betrayed spouse, which makes adultery not only an interpersonal, but also an individual-personal phenomenon. A woman who has been cheated on by her husband feels offended, offended, unhappy. The husband, in the event of his wife's infidelity, experiences a feeling of humiliation, considers himself disgraced and ridiculous, pathetic both in the eyes of others and in his own - after all, the pathetic image of the "cuckold" has been the subject of ridicule from time immemorial. With the concept of adultery on the part of his wife, almost every man is associated with the loss of his male honor. Fifthly, for the “injured party”, cheating on a spouse is the strongest psychological trauma, provoking, along with psychogenic depression and self-destructive behavior (from alcoholism to suicidal attempts), the emergence of pronounced aggressive tendencies towards an unfaithful partner (from the physical point of view, there is an opinion that adultery and adultery are not the same thing. For example, the German psychotherapist K. Kofta believes that cheating concerns the body, infidelity - the soul. And "Lippius, within the framework of adultery, singles out extramarital sex and infidelity. The main difference he sees is that the traitor may not break off the marriage union, but he does not love his wife or husband, he is kept only by some circumstances, for example, children, career, relative domestic comfort, which he is afraid of losing. During extramarital sex, husbands, as a rule, love their wives and at the same time practice infidelity.

At the same time, intimate-sexual relations, depending on the duration and stability of extramarital contacts, the nature of the relationship of partners and the subject of a new love interest (random person or permanent, of the same person), can be divided into three groups: casual extramarital contacts (short, casual relationships), erotic sexual adventures (romantic relationships) and extramarital affairs (treason).

What is the difference between each of the selected varieties of extramarital sexual relations?

Random extramarital contact - a single case, episodic, short relationship, little associated with a particular person. Such contact may be the result of sexual need, due to forced sexual abstinence - abstinence (separation or illness of one of the spouses), a manifestation of the need to prove one's sexual capacity to oneself, or provoked by the realization of an accidental opportunity.

Short, casual relationships pose the least danger to a marriage, as their adherents have a strong commitment to an existing marriage.

Erotic-sexual adventures are separate extramarital episodes in which sexual sophistication plays a special role with elements of discovering new things and striving for diversity. In addition to sexual desire, they certainly include the erotic attractiveness of a partner. Gentleness plays an important role in this. Such contacts are based on the mutual sharing of subtle experiences, in which, among other things, the discovery of a new person is important. For a man, it is primarily about discovering the body of a partner, for a woman, it is more about discovering the reaction of her body to a new partner. These erotic-sexual adventures are brief, optional, and leave behind memories of some particular episode and their own pleasure.

Cheating is the most dangerous sexual relationship, characterized by a long duration and the emergence of emotional dependence on a new partner. A strong love feeling in this case may be the cause of betrayal or, conversely, appear in the process of developing relationships with an extramarital partner. Often the woman in such a relationship is unmarried, and married man- middle (45-55) years.

Reasons for adultery

The most common causes and motives of male infidelity are the following:

An aggravated sexual need (in most cases not associated with any emotional and spiritual aspects of communication), which is satisfied in many cases with unfamiliar partners, or in short-term, “fleeting” relationships with old acquaintances, colleagues, wives of friends, etc .;

The provocation of sexual intercourse by the wife's temporary absence - her departure on a business trip, vacation, treatment, etc. A long separation from a spouse is often regarded as a sufficient reason for looking for a temporary replacement;

The impact of "random" circumstances (alcohol, entertainment in the company), many men consider the direct cause of extramarital affairs. Alcohol intoxication, especially its mild degree, increases sexual desire and weakens internal prohibitions. However, it would be more correct to regard this condition as a circumstance conducive to adultery;

Love for another woman. Sex in this case is, as it were, a self-evident detail in the complex mechanism of human relationships built on love;

Women's initiative and perseverance. In this case, the male "code of honor" does not allow offending a lady by refusing, and signing "inability" himself. In modern conditions, this reason for male infidelity is also due to the following circumstance. In large cities, more than 30 percent of women in "mature" age are not legally married, but are ready to have sexual relations with a man and at the same time consider a man, regardless of whether he is married or not, their lawful prey.

Self-affirmation: male pride is amused by the number of sexual victories that are vital to them. This is especially true for men who could not (could not, did not want) to realize their career ambitions. Having not achieved the planned success in life, they try to compensate for their professional "failure" and professional failure with "achievements" in the sexual sphere. Such men are more likely to cheat not only on their wives, but also on extramarital partners, whom several may have at the same time: they visit one of them often, meetings with the other occur on a case-by-case basis, and meet with the third according to a strict schedule, for example, once a month. Psychologists' research shows that the more successful a man's business is in the professional sphere, the less his tendency to cheat;

Revenge (for humiliation, for treason). Entering into an extramarital affair occurs during quarrels with his wife, in a temper, or out of a desire to take revenge and establish himself in his freedom and independence;

The desire to change impressions, the desire for a variety of sensations, feelings and impressions. In family life, boredom sets in. This refers not only to the repetition of conversations, the lack of spiritual incentives, but most often - the monotony in intimate (sex) life.

- “reward yourself for success”: a similar motive of betrayal is typical for the category of wealthy men that has appeared in Russia in the last decade. For a man, self-affirmation through the manifestation of his business and professional qualities is very important, so he devotes a lot of strength and energy to his career. Sooner or later, a purposeful and persistent man comes to great success, for which he decides to reward himself with a mistress. Sometimes such men cannot stand the role of a winner in all areas of life. And it instills fear in them. On a subconscious level, they are afraid of the revenge of evil demons for their good fortune. By starting an affair and making his wife find out about it, the husband deliberately destroys the family. Failure in one of the spheres of life - in this case, in family life - gives them the opportunity to withstand success in another, professional, business and love, because he feels free, not bound by any prohibitions and obligations. Such a “rewarded state” continues until the man once again enters into a legal marriage.

female infidelity- this is an escape from unsatisfactory marital relations. Women in marriage are disappointed that the husband does not provide proper emotional support, does not give his wife any time or attention, does not express love and does not help with household chores, so she is looking for support on the side. The American psychologist K. Baldwin noted on this occasion that women outside of marriage do not seek sex, but emotional protection and support, but they are forced to pay for this with their bodies.

Extramarital sex for a woman acts as a strong emotional connection, to which she is often pushed by deep psychological reasons. Among these are:

Revenge on her husband for his betrayal;

The desire to feel loved again and feel their importance, increase self-esteem;

Prolong the feeling of youth, "ignite" yourself, experience strong feelings;

Feel your power over a man and satisfy your sexual need, if it has become aggravated;

Satisfy curiosity and change the old husband for a new one;

Concession in business relations for career reasons. Often occurs with women who are in a position of subordination in relation to a male boss. The schemes of such relations can be very diverse, some of them take on the character of explicit coercion. Unfortunately, male bosses often take advantage of a woman's dependent position. Naturally, they do not demand sex, but behave like ordinary men trying to woo an attractive woman. Often a woman finds herself in a hopeless situation: she understands that in case of refusal, the boss will not forgive any mistake, will begin to find fault with work, will look for shortcomings, exert psychological pressure, and eventually fire her. Therefore, she is forced to choose the lesser of two evils: it is better to suffer once than to experience everyday pressure; she simply has nowhere to go, because the same picture can be repeated at a new place of work. This form of betrayal can be described as voluntary-compulsory sex;

Sexual gratitude for a kind attitude towards oneself, for a service rendered, for timely help and support in difficult times, etc. A woman believes that it is ignoble to refuse a person who has done so much for you;

Way to make money: a lot married women(and recently there have been quite a few men) who, because of money, enter into extramarital affairs with random wealthy clients. Married prostitutes sometimes only earn extra money with this, receiving money or expensive gifts. The family is usually unaware of extra income.

Therapy for adultery

Cheating as a crisis situation in marriage can be resolved by the restoration of the partnership, lead to its breakup or remain unresolved. The last option is the most difficult in terms of further preservation the integrity of the family, and in relation to the provision psychological help both the “injured” and the “guilty” side. Most often, people are faced with two scenarios: 1) divorce; 2) preservation of the marriage union.

Divorce is perhaps the first impulsive desire of a deceived woman who finds it difficult to understand, accept, and even more so forgive such a “shameless” betrayal of a treacherous “traitor”. But before making such a serious decision, it is necessary to weigh everything and think over who will benefit from this, what acquisitions will each of the spouses have as a result of the final destruction of the family? Divorce is much easier than re-creating a family, especially for a woman burdened with children, who most often remain with their mother when the marriage is terminated.

American psychologist, family specialist Gina Heinley offers the following purely practical advice women who are cheated on by their husbands.

First, take it as calmly as possible. In the life of every man, as a rule, sooner or later another woman appears, if only out of sporting interest. Therefore, one should not consider only oneself a victim of male deceit, since many women have been or are in a similar position.

Secondly, you should not be unnecessarily “principled” and set a goal: to punish the unfaithful at all costs. The main task is not to destroy, but to save the family.

Based on this, it makes sense to analyze your family life, because cheating for no reason is extremely rare.

Thirdly, by reasonable actions and deeds, it is necessary to make the husband make sure that the girlfriend is not as good, and you are not as bad as it seems to him now. For this, it does not interfere with developing your own tactics.

In addition, to restore marital partnership, psychologists advise doing the following.

1. In communication: stop talking about betrayal, mutual evaluation and emotional manifestations, maintain only formal communication.

Naturally, hopes for the return of an unfaithful spouse are greater in cases where the psychological atmosphere in the house is more calm and pleasant, can compete with the atmosphere in the house of an extramarital partner. Especially after the initial, uncritical admiration passes and the extramarital affair enters the stage of realistic assessments. In cases where there is constant tension in the house, tears, endless criticisms and reproaches that drive the unfaithful spouse out of the house, the hopes for the restoration of the family are minimal.

3. In the household sphere: to clearly agree on the planning and distribution of the family budget.

4. In the field of spending free time: establish open relationships, provide freedom, but you should share the responsibilities for joint housekeeping.

5. With regard to children: protect them from conflicts, and also determine who is responsible for what in their upbringing. The main principle is the inviolability of children, it is not permissible to involve them in solving problems related to extramarital affairs of parents.

6. On a personal level: distraction to something meaningful (study, caring for children, work, hobbies); development of a new view of things, the formation of the morality of forgiveness, conscious control over the reactions of jealousy; their devaluation among other values, life attitudes, lifestyle changes and the formation of other interpersonal relationships.

7. In social terms: never make "little dirty linen in public." Once in such an unenviable situation, most often you want someone to "pour out" your feelings, you want sympathy, pity, good advice. At the same time, you can’t lose your head and tell about everything to close people, and even more so to friends. Neither neighbors, nor colleagues, nor girlfriends, nor even parents in this case are able to help, because relationships concern only spouses, and therefore strangers should not be allowed into intimate life.

8. In interpersonal relationships: it is necessary to press on what the husband fears most of all. Measures must be taken based on his age, contacts with a partner, level of education and culture, and many other circumstances that determine family life. It is necessary to talk calmly, try to understand each other, tell frankly what does not suit you in the relationship, what needs to be done to prevent this from happening.

Calmness should come on the note that everything will definitely turn for the better. Life itself is proof of this. There are millions of people and millions of married couples around, and a sea of ​​human passions and vices is raging around them. But others live, therefore, receiving blows of fate, cope with them.

Conclusion

Cheating as a variant of violation of marital life stands alone in the proposed range of types of family destruction, as it is qualitatively different from any of them. Adultery can occur in practically healthy families, may be absent in destroyed ones.

Extramarital affairs are usually associated with a variety of psychological, social, neurophysiological, emotional, intellectual and moral causes. In each individual case and in each specific person, be it a man or a woman, these reasons are subjective, determined not only by specific accidents and circumstances, but also by the personal characteristics of the partners. In addition, the reasons for the changes may be due to gender differences associated with the characteristics of the psychology of sex.

Along with the behavioral characteristics of partners in extramarital affairs, the reaction of the deceived spouse becomes essential as soon as he finds out terrible secret about change. The nature of his reaction depends on the decision of the issue of the preservation or disintegration of the family.

The news of the betrayal of a marriage partner often leads to serious stress. In this case, both parties are subject to stress. But if the traitor seeks and quickly finds the necessary excuses, then the deceived side will suffer torment. A person in this state does not find a place for himself for several days and can make a lot of mistakes.

Adultery is inextricably linked with the concept of "fear". Both sides feel fear.

No matter how husbands and wives react to the betrayal of their spouse, it should be remembered that the appearance of an extramarital affair in any of them is not only marital destruction, but also a big family drama, as it leads to the collapse of the foundations of human life. And it is very important in such a situation under the influence negative emotions accept correct solution about getting out of the family crisis.

Perhaps there is no test more severe for a family than the test of betrayal. Therefore, when entering into marriage, one should simply remember that the marital union gives us a chance to be a living, experiencing and feeling person; a family union gives a chance to be protected, confident in the future, in a reliable rear. How can one learn to live wisely so that, without losing the second, one does not rashly renounce the first? The decision, the choice is for each of us.

Literature

1. Volkova A.N. Experience in the study of adultery / / Questions of psychology. 1989. No. 2. S. 98-101.

2. Linchevsky E.E. Loves - does not love ... M .: Knowledge, 1984.

3. Muse S. Eros, asceticism and marriage: an inextricable link? // Moscow psychotherapeutic journal. 2004. No. 4. S. 44-64.

4. Kholmogorova A.B., Volikova S.V., Polkunova E.V. Family factors of depression // Questions of psychology. 2005. No. 6. P. 63.

5. Psychology of the modern family: Book. for teachers and parents. - M.: Humanit. ed. center VLADOS, 2004. - 288 p.: ill. - (Psychology for all).

To walk or not to walk, in the well-known sense of the word - whether to go for adultery - is a matter of 100% of the able-bodied population - women and men. Who not only want, but can, physically, have sex.

Do not trust anyone, including yourself, if they tell you or you think: Well, yes, I will never, for anything and with anyone, agree, I will not go to adultery.

For any honest person in this matter, including myself, will say: Adultery - adultery - is a matter of time, circumstances and sexual saturation of a man and a woman.

Or rather, sexual satiety: when “you want with your eyes”, but physically you can no longer - sex, after all, has its quantitative limitations.

And, as soon as these three elements coincide: the right time, the combination of favorable circumstances and the presence of sexual hunger. So, certainly, adultery will take place. And nothing and no one will stop.

Why the infidelity of a husband, wife - adultery is inevitable

The question is, by the way, philosophical. For if we reason at a purely everyday level. Or, even, as psychologists, we will not come to anything intelligible and valid in the understanding of adultery.

What is the philosophy? And you need to understand the essence of a person, and from it already “dance”, it would seem, in such a simple matter as the infidelity of a husband and wife - adultery.

For the inclination and craving for adultery is a property of a person, inherent in his essence. And moreover, this property does not depend on the human in him, in man: reason and morality. But let's go in order:

1. For each person, if he does not want to be a slave to the circumstances of life or other people, it is desirable, at least in general terms, to understand his essence - the essence of man.

And it, like any truth that is close to reality, is simple - a person literally consists of two parts - two of his hypostases:

Biological, animal essence of man

This is his organism, which needs to live in this world, survive, survive, defend and be fruitful, multiply. In order not to disappear as a biological species.

All these human functions are carried out on the basis of basic human instincts, however, the same as those of all living things on earth.

These instincts, regardless of the consciousness of a person and his desires, are designed to realize his animal needs, which are also called: basic, primary, material.

It is clear that in the case of adultery, we are primarily interested in the Basic Instinct or, as it is also called: the reproductive instinct, the sexual instinct.

Adultery and the spiritual essence of man

The human — spiritual, ideal, cultural, rational essence of a person — is the second component of a person, generated and existing on the basis of his animal essence.

The spiritual essence of a person is a complex system of ideas, knowledge of a person about life around.

We are interested in it, from the point of view of adultery, a subsystem of human spiritual values:

- morality as a public value system of people in a given society;

- and morality, as a system of values ​​of a particular person.

These value systems contain, as elements, knowledge about ideals - concepts of how it SHOULD be. Mostly in people and in their relationships. And moral principles are like ideals that have become the rules of human life.

Or, as for the morality of society, it contains the ideals and principles of life that are declared and cultivated by the population in this society.

The role of animals and the spiritual principles of man in adultery

It is clear that these two hypostases of a person: animal and rational-spiritual, cannot be “blinded” just like that. There must be something that unites them into a single whole - makes the person we know and ourselves are.

This “something”, nothing else than the feelings of a person - his emotionally colored reaction to the outside world, and above all, the human in it.

That is, here is such a connection between the biological and spiritual essence of a person: sensations - feelings - mind.

Where sensations, in one form or another, are inherent in all living things. Feelings, as a transitional form to a reasonable awareness of reality, are inherent in higher animals and are most developed in humans.

And the mind, as the ability not only to realize and understand reality, but also to manage it, by virtue of its understanding and its capabilities.

This is directly related to adultery: the sensory perception of reality, heated and controlled by the Basic Instinct, literally pushes a person to unreasonable behavior in his sexual and sexual life.

Reason, not even particularly supported by the morality of man and his knowledge of morality, says:

Do not cheat on your wife, husband - do not have casual sex - do not go to adultery.

This is fraught with both moral and mental problems and biological ones - the likelihood of a pathogenic infection. And possible big problems in relationship with wife and husband.

And feelings, with a wild, literally, almost uncontrollable force, dictate: Go to adultery - cheat on your wife, husband. After all, you want it so much, it's so interesting and great - these are such FEELINGS!

What is the problem of adultery

And therefore, the problem of adultery - a possible or real betrayal of a spouse, is not in the plane of human morality or his mind and stupidity. And in the plane of the ratio of his animal and spiritual essence.

It should be understood that this ratio is very conditional:

- Now, at the present moment, the mind can prevail over the "chemistry" and even the thought of adultery is disgusting.

- And after a while, in slightly changed circumstances, "feelings broke out" - passion boiled up and "to hell with everything" - the main thing is sex. Here and now, with anyone, or with her, with him.

And it doesn’t matter that this is not a wife, not a husband. And, on the contrary, feelings turned into passion, because this is not a wife and not a husband, with whom - "it was already and tired."

How to avoid adultery, yours or your partner?

As for yourself, if you want to keep purity and innocence for (in) the marital bed. Then you can avoid adultery - adultery, in the following ways:

1. You need to develop yourself to the state of a decent woman, a decent man (which is more difficult in this regard), coupled with raising your moral standards.

For decent people, if they are married or married, will not go to adultery. Their principles of life include: It is categorically impossible to cheat on your beloved wife, husband.

And to an unloved husband, an unloved wife, if it turned out that they live with them, then, as a rule, “it is possible to change, only carefully.”

For adultery always comes retribution

2. You need to develop your intelligence in this regard: you just need to become enlightened in the field of sex and sexual relations.

This enlightenment, most often, will stop from adultery. For a knowledgeable person understands that one will have to pay dearly for a moment of weakness - for giving in to one's sensual sexual passions. Even if no one knows about adultery.

These are remorse, and feelings because of their sensual, stupid incontinence. And more “earthly”: the knowledge that almost 100% you will “pick up” some new sexual flora, and it’s good, if not pathogenic and painful.

And the understanding that sex with a new partner is not so new and, most likely, will bring disappointment than thrills. And there is no need to talk about disorder and confusion, boiling of feelings.

3. In the end, you just need to understand that the beast lives in you. And it is he, with his instincts uncontrollable by you, the man, who pushes you to adultery.

And your consciousness, where feelings prevail in everyday life, and not reason, or “close your eyes” to this prank of the body. Or, most often, adultery will also justify.

Type: It's not my fault - it's nature. You yourself said that in man there is an animal essence - so it takes its toll.

4. We must live with our beloved husband, with our beloved wife. For betrayal of a beloved husband or a beloved wife is, nevertheless, an exception to the universal, one might say, universal adultery. Or desire for it.

How to protect yourself and insure against adultery husband, wife?

1. To protect yourself from the adultery of a partner, to some extent, you can, mainly at the stage of choosing a husband or wife.

If you opt for eccentric, overly sensual people. Yes, not yet "strict rules" in the field sexual life, then their adultery is a matter of time and cases.

2. If you already have a cheating husband or wife - adultery is "obvious." Either put up with it as an inevitability, if you can endure it.

Or wait until they finally work up - although they may never work up.

Or get divorced, if mentally and physically you disdain to share a bed and a husband, a wife with their passions.

Or make their life such that they do not even have the opportunity to think about adultery.

For example, "push" him with sex with yourself, or the household, or children. So that he (she) has neither the strength, nor the time, nor the circumstances suitable for treason.

Summary: Adultery is adultery

Adultery, in principle, is inevitable, as a manifestation of the animal Basic instinct in women and men.

For this sexual instinct, in humans, implies, has polygamy in its mechanism:

- For a man - "scatter the seed";

- For a woman - to look for and choose the best father of her children, among many and different men. By trial, and not just looking and thinking.