She's leaving me. The girl left, what should I do?

People tend to change their feelings, attitudes and attachments. That is why not all relationships are eternal and last until death. It happens that we confuse love with falling in love, sympathy or affection. And when the realization of a mistake comes, you have to break off the relationship. And many ladies experience next question: when a girl leaves a guy, what should I say now?

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Of course, this situation is very delicate and unpleasant, especially when the relationship was long and serious. It is painful and difficult for a person to realize the fact that he, in fact, is your mistake. Besides, no one wants a guy to harbor resentment and anger towards you and the entire female gender because of a breakup.

What to do to protect the young man from worries as much as possible?

For starters, always be honest with him. The truth, no matter how bitter it is, will never be worse than a lie. If you feel that the relationship is coming to an end and you will soon leave the guy, you should not lie to him and to yourself. There is no need to try to force yourself to love him again or stay close out of pity. In such a situation, sooner or later you will still break off the relationship, but it will be much more difficult and painful.

Therefore, try to think carefully about everything and understand whether this is really the ending. Perhaps you are simply having a relationship crisis or you have quarreled. In this case, you need to understand whether this is a good reason to put an end to it once and for all. Will you regret what you did and try to take everything back? Do not forget that with such a decision you will bring pain to the person, and it may happen that when you decide to return, he will no longer let you back into his heart and soul. That is why you should not make such decisions hastily, in a fit of anger. If you and your boyfriend have had a row, under no circumstances start packing up his or your things, shouting that everything is over and there is no more love. Try to calm down and wait a little. When the anger subsides, you will be able to think rationally and then decide what to do.

Usually, when a girl leaves a guy, it is the representative of the stronger sex who suffers the breakup much harder than the girl herself. They are just so calm and cool-headed in appearance. In fact, they have a sea of ​​emotions raging in their souls that guys cannot express because they consider it a weakness. Due to the fact that they have to constantly restrain themselves, young people accumulate negativity and take longer to recover from breaking up with the woman they love. That is why, if your relationship is truly serious, think a hundred times before making a decision, since it will be final and irrevocable.

So, if the decision has been made and you decide to break up, then we return to the question: when the girl left the guy - what to say now? Of course, we need to talk. Never end a relationship over the phone, and even more so in the form of an e-mail or a message in contact. Thus, you are showing basic disrespect for the person. He gets the idea that he is so unimportant to you that you didn’t even bother to tell him everything to his face. By the way, in fact, such an act speaks of your cowardice and inability to answer for your words and decisions to other people.

In addition, never arrange a showdown in public. There is no need to turn everything into a farce in which friends will participate, or even strangers. Firstly, you should never wash dirty linen in public and give rise to gossip. And secondly, friends will definitely try to intervene, start making peace between you and telling you how good your guy is. This will lead either to a quarrel with everyone present, or to reconciliation, which in reality will turn out to be an ordinary falsehood.

Also, you should not talk about your decision on the eve of some big holiday. There is no point in overshadowing this celebration for a person for many years, or even for the rest of his life.

You need to talk about your separation in private, in a calm environment. Explain young man, what is the reason and why you want to do this. No need to say that it's all about you. This does not happen, since every action we take is a reaction to the action of another person. Consequently, you are not satisfied with something about your boyfriend, which is why the relationship has come to an end. Just don’t blame him for anything, just explain that everyone has their own understanding of the world and life, and, apparently, yours diverge too much. Avoid scandals and showdowns. Don't start feeling sorry for him and calming him down. Just calmly agree, wish all the best and leave.

Of course, you must understand that you really caused pain. But, also, it is worth realizing that this pain will pass, but life with an unloving person would turn into real grief for him.

Don't try to remain friends and promise to maintain the relationship. If this is real, then only after a fairly long period of time, when the guy calms down, stops being angry and trying to win you back. If a young man says unpleasant things to you, ignore him. In the end, he has the right, because now he is in pain, and the cause of this pain is you. Accordingly, the guy is trying to punish the offender in this way.

The opposite situation may also arise when he begins to ask for forgiveness, promise to change and say that he will do everything just to get you back. If you definitely decide to break off the relationship, you also need to be inert about this behavior. Any weakness or expression of pity on your part will lead to the young man thinking: she feels sorry for me, which means that the feelings haven’t gone away after all, and I can fix everything. In this case, you will have to endure his attempts to resume everything, which will make both him and you more and more painful. Therefore, stop all attempts and leave as quickly as possible.

After a breakup, you should not see each other or answer phone calls. At first, it will be difficult for both him and you, but gradually, feelings will begin to fade and life will slowly improve.

And lastly: don’t blame yourself for falling out of love with a person. Our feelings and emotions are not subject to the mind, so it’s not your fault that you can’t command your heart - what to say now? You shouldn’t become a victim for life just because your boyfriend doesn’t want to come to terms with the breakup?..

Instructions: how to get your girlfriend back. 5 steps.

What to do right now

So, your girlfriend left you. I stopped appreciating you and went looking for you. better life. Her appraising gaze tells you that you are not the prince she dreamed of. It's disappointing because you don't seem to live up to her expectations.

Your goal is not to adapt to her expectations, but to occupy a significant position in her eyes. Now yours balance of significance broken. Even if some time ago you were a close couple, by her decision, now you are apart. Now she is free and you have no right to demand love and attention from her. To get her back, you need to rebuild the relationship and make her fall in love with you.

There is one thing general rule, which you must remember.

Never talk about a relationship if you don't have one

• Don't sort things out
• Don't confess your love
• Don't ask me to come back
• Accept that she's gone

This text is for those who have already cried and pulled themselves together. If you constantly lose self-control, you first need to regain it.

Each of the 5 steps is part of a balanced strategy. Here it is:

Disappear - -> Change - -> Appear - -> Seduce - -> Rebuild the relationship

Disappear

60% of situations are solved by total ignore.

You can object: “She will forget me and find someone else!” This is a typical fear, especially if the girl is beautiful. At first, ignoring only means that you stop writing and calling her every hour. After a day or two she begins to notice it. And if before this you were extremely annoying, she will begin to feel a lack of communication.

Admit it, you're not in the best shape right now. Your nerves are shattered, your pride is wounded, you look like a puppy thrown out into the street in the middle of winter. It takes time to regain human form.

Stop looking for connections with her and immediately move on to the second point.

Change

She is no longer yours. The right to meet must be earned. Therefore, the period of transformation is the most important. We need to change. And not in words, but in deeds.

Sometimes they ask me: “Can I pretend?” It is possible, but you will have to spend the same amount of effort as with real changes, but these efforts are useless. Sooner or later the deception will be revealed. Playing all the time is stupid.

For many, change means changing clothes. But even if you grow a beard and do cool tattoo- this will not mean that you have changed in what you should have.

The girl leaves for specific reasons. This is usually associated with one of five unattractive qualities for her:

1. Constant tight control
2. Low self-esteem
3. Constantly “begging” for attention from a woman
4. Intense jealousy
5. Self-affirmation at the expense of a woman

If you recognize yourself in them, draw your own conclusions. It is much easier to leave a guy who exhibits such qualities.

There are more attractive qualities - about 20. And these are the qualities that you need to develop in yourself. Choose at least three of them that you are not good at and start changing.

There are 2 ways to change:

1. Actually change, but don't talk about it

If you were jealous, now just don’t ask her where and with whom she spent time, be calmer. I was fixated on work - now listen carefully to what the girl is talking about. Do you want to become more self-sufficient: the very tone of future correspondence can clearly show this.

Tell stories from your life in which you showed yourself differently than before. Don't get carried away with bragging, you just need to mention it in passing. He was irresponsible, unreliable - in between, tell me that he promised to hang a shelf for mom and did. Was hyper-obsessive - tell me how fun you had with your friends. You worked nights and days - tell us how you turned off Wi-Fi over the weekend and spent time in nature.

Of course, one small change not enough. The change plan should be ambitious and thought out in advance for a week or month in advance.

Here is an example of an action plan I create with a client.

Or: Look at how detailed a change plan needs to be.

Set clear goals for yourself and record the results.

There must be a really measurable criterion that you are changing.

You should see the result: 2 weeks ago you thought about her every minute, called her 4 times a day and sobbed into your pillow, but now you don’t cry and can spend time without her and enjoy it.

When she left, you were unreliable, constantly forgot your promises and never managed to get work done on time, and now you have taken on responsibility: helping the family, not making promises if you are not ready to keep them, and trying to do everything on time.

Deadline for changes and ignoring

You need to get in touch no later than 2 weeks later. If at least one communication channel remains, then you need to use it.

Appear

Write - -> Call - -> Meet

Remember: You only have three attempts to return. Appreciate them.

1. Wrote - > she is silent or communication is not being built - > the first attempt failed.

2. I called -> she didn’t answer or the communication went poorly -> the second attempt also failed.

3. Invited to a meeting -> she refused or the meeting went poorly -> all three attempts failed.

Many people think that you need to write and call until the girl returns. I called once - I'll call 100 more times. People don't understand that they have a limited number of attempts to return. When I talk about this, a person begins to value his actions and weigh his every word.

Three tries is the rule. This means that you need to forget about the girl and move on with your life if she doesn’t want to communicate with you. Continuing to impose your communication on her will only make things worse.

- -> Write

One of the tasks when returning is to fall in love with yourself again.

Start the correspondence with news and a counter question “how are you doing?” The news should be upbeat and evoke emotions. People usually have a dull life, so they are always happy to “feed” on other people’s emotions and listen to something exciting. It's attractive. In addition, the girl expects you to write as before, how bad you feel without her. And cheerful news speaks of changes at least in your thinking.

You don't need to answer her right away. Wait a couple of minutes first, then an hour, then more. It's normal to not respond to messages right away. You are a free person. You may be busy at work or traveling in public transport. There is no need to make excuses.

Chat and pause the dialogue for a day based on her response. It's better if it's her question. This will create a communication gap. This is called a "deferred replica". If she starts texting or calling again, there is no need to answer. Create suspense.

Your text should be less than hers. This is a subtle mechanism for controlling the balance of importance. If a girl responds to your news briefly and without interest, you need to end the conversation quickly, without saying goodbye, and switch to other methods of communication. I'll have to disappear again for a week and then call her.

The correspondence should last until you are ready for the first call.

- -> Call

Each stage brings you one small step closer to the girl.

The first call should grab the girl's attention. She needs to talk to you as if you were an interesting person, so the call needs to be prepared very carefully - like a presentation to an important client. Tell her about a cool event that happened to you recently. This story must be carefully rehearsed. “Test” it on another girl and see what reaction it evokes and what questions the girl can ask in response. A good story evokes emotions: laughter, delight, surprise. If the girl tester does not react to it in any way, it means the story is bad or you are telling it poorly. It doesn't matter how much you have to rehearse. Imagine that this call is the only thing you have to get her back. If you fail it, it will be difficult further.

Work out the reason for the call. If you don’t want to feel the silent question “why are you telling me all this?”, then you need to explain your call. If you can’t think of anything, just say: “I decided to call you, I don’t know why. We haven't talked for a long time. How are you doing?". Your story should not resemble a call from a call center.

Never talk about a relationship if you don't have one

• Don't sort things out
• Don't confess your love
• Don't ask me to come back
• Let the girl be free

If she listens and asks questions, that means you're on the right way. Interest is returning. If not, tell her that you were pleased to hear her voice. This will relax her. She won't feel like you want anything from her. You just called to chat and see how she was doing. Goodbye!

The second call should restore her trust in you. If you prepared a story on the first call, now you are ready to listen to all her thoughts and everything that is important to her. How's mom? How's dad? How are your studies? The first call is a test call. It shows that you don’t demand anything and are quite adequate. It should relieve tension. The second and third call brings you closer. Therefore, increase the call time. Each stage brings you one small step closer to the girl. Move very carefully towards your target so as not to scare it away. The worst thing is to put pressure: set conditions, bargain. But you need to fall in love again and conquer her again. We need to communicate like free people.

The fourth call is needed to invite her to a meeting. Find a reason. Invite her to an exhibition, a concert or to a friend’s birthday. It's better than inviting you to a restaurant. “I'm going ___. Let's go together! " - this should be the message. This is a non-binding meeting from which she knows what to expect: something interesting. You are just going to spend time together, not to sort things out. She must understand this.

- -> Meet

Don't rush into battle right away. You need to break up the resistance.

At the meeting, you must make her fall in love with you again. Tell a new rehearsed story. Show how you have changed. Remember: she’s not yours now, which means you don’t need to act like you’re possessive or needy. Be self-sufficient: you are dating to spend time together and nothing more. Don't put pressure on her.

At the second meeting, you can begin kinesthetics. Touch her as if you were getting intimate for the first time. If she doesn't mind, you can kiss her. Don't rush to drag her to bed again. Control yourself. Draw the line: break the kiss yourself and say goodbye. Don't wait for her to tell you that she's not ready yet. If she is not ready for kinesthetics, put it off for next time.

On the third date, you can be more active. If she allowed herself to be kissed last time, then she has already become noticeably closer. You can move on to seduction and build relationships again.

Seduce

You were already lovers. Most likely, you know what to do next.

Rebuild relationships

To prevent a girl from leaving the relationship again, you need to ensure that the reasons for separation do not arise again. Once she's gone, it's too late to make a fuss, so it's better to prevent problems in advance.

Why do people break up?

• Unmet needs
• Imbalance of importance
• Unjustified expectations
• Loss of interest

You can read more about what this means in other materials. (links)

We discussed the main steps that need to be taken to return a cold girl: Disappear - -> Change - -> Appear - -> Seduce - -> Build the relationship again.

As you have already noticed, the main thing in this path is your transformation and patience. She doesn't want to go back to where she left - no problem. You're not trying to bring back the past. You disappear only to appear again, and in the future everything will be different. Calculate when approximately this will happen and don’t try to rush things. Direct your vector to the future. A couple of weeks - ignore and change. Another couple of weeks for correspondence and calls, and only a month later - a meeting. Be patient! You have a chance to change, and this is no less important than getting the girl back.

What to do if a girl dumps you? Recognizing the situation makes it possible to analyze what happened, find out why this event happened, will help you gain and appropriate the experience gained so as not to repeat the mistake in the next relationship, or it will give you ideas on how to start all over again with your previous beloved.

The question of what to do when your beloved girl leaves you is the most pressing, since people you don’t love don’t leave you; you either leave them on your own or perceive what happened with relief. And if in case of loss significant person girls usually cry on a friend’s shoulder and eat sweets, then men go to a bar, where the amount of alcohol is proportional to the degree of mental loss. To call such behavior a suitable solution, you need to try a dozen others and understand that they are unpromising.

It is necessary to acknowledge the fact of what happened, and not pretend that you are indifferent to changes in your personal life. What is happening has changed its course: you will spend your evenings differently, visiting the same places will look different; if you lived together, then every centimeter of housing will indicate changes (from the shelf in the bathroom to your diet). The longer you resist and try not to notice what is happening, the stronger your nervous system begins to signal that the owner has problems with the adequacy of perception. The bravado that you have only gotten better without a girl can only work if this is really true, and if every day you think about how to live on or how to get her back, then such behavior will only drive you into a dead end.

What to do if the girl you love leaves you

Relationships do not collapse in one moment, usually the separation is preceded by various bells that signal problems and hidden conflicts, and only if they are strenuously ignored, you can then find yourself alone, wondering what to do when your beloved girl left you. Analyze your relationship before breaking up (and from now on, periodically analyze existing relationships) according to the following indicators: is there love on both sides, is there enough in the relationship, what are each person’s personal life goals and how much do they coincide, what are the goals and expectations from the relationship.

It happens that you are not satisfied with the answers on all points, but the girl is quite interesting and beautiful, plus she is sitting somewhere, and then the guy himself does not end this relationship, trying every time to convince himself that after time or some effort everything will work out. You need to discard excessive sentimentality and your own habit of to this person(precisely a habit, if there is no love and there are many things you are not happy with) and thank the girl for ending a meaningless relationship and the opportunity to meet the right one. The deeper the situation is analyzed, the more clearly you can see that everything that happened was far from the concept of love, which means it’s time to let go with a light heart.

If you realized that you really love a girl, and the breakup happened due to some mistake, then find out, first of all, from the girl herself the reason for your breakup. It’s better to do this a couple of days after a serious conversation, they’ll just have time to settle down, something will become clearer in her (and perhaps she’ll have time to regret her decision), but at the same time the topic will remain relevant. Knowing such reasons may not bring back this particular girl to you, but it will definitely be useful in order to know in which direction to make positive changes in your personality. Don’t swear to her that you will change and comply with her wishes, no one believes in such a thing. But you should take note and really change, then after a while she will be able to appreciate your efforts and only you can decide whether to resume the relationship after this. By the way, a girl will not necessarily agree to answer such a question for you, much less take a serious approach to the problem, out of a desire to quickly end communication or out of an understanding of the huge difference in your perceptions (if you think that a man should be strict and not let a woman get away with it, at the same time, he can behave as he pleases, and your friend is for sharing responsibilities and duties, implying the same freedom for individuals).

At the very beginning, when the girl left, it is not yet clear what to do, but you need to fill your life as much as possible, in which there are now time intervals previously allocated for relationships. There is no need to leave everything as it is, because it is during these free hours that despondency and nostalgia will set in, memories will begin to swirl in your head, and self-recrimination and other negative things for self-esteem and perception of the world will begin to multiply at a terrible speed.

Take your time with work (extraordinary work will bring you a promotion or additional income), your hobbies (it's time to repair your bike, go ice fishing or start playing billiards again), entertainment events (cinemas and concerts, exhibitions and conferences, parties and themed meetings – now you can visit those places you have long wanted to). Use the freed time not for sadness, but for your benefit, at least from a material point of view, at least from the development of your personality. Take up a sport that, in addition to improving physical condition, normalizes the emotional background, which will help cope with the crisis. During physical exercise you can listen to audio books or new artists, making the most of your time.

Plan your own time in such a way as to develop those qualities that your ex-girlfriend lacked, then perhaps you will be able to meet again, but you should not try to win her back right away, respect her decision, wish her happiness, even if now it is separate from you.

The girl left me, what to do, how to forget

When a girl leaves, what to do to forget her becomes an urgent question, when the relationship cannot be resuscitated, or the guy himself understands that it is not worth going back, but the force of attraction remains somewhere, even on the physical level. You can help your own psyche wean itself from this state by using the body’s resources, which include the mechanisms of hormonal regulation and the synthesis of substances that cause the feeling of falling in love. You should start by including physical training in your daily list or increasing its quantity if it was present previously. The system works in a simple way– during sports, the body produces substances similar to those produced when falling in love (i.e., you get the usual dose), and also produces hormones of joy, which helps prevent depressive states.

Complete and let go of the feelings associated with the girl, for which it is not necessary to contact her personally (dialogue can help liberate, and perhaps provoke increased emotional intensity), especially since this is not always possible. There are techniques for releasing emotions using writing, metaphorical actions, which you can do on your own, or you can use the help of a psychologist who will suggest several more techniques for releasing accumulated feelings. The importance of release is the main point in forgetting, because the more unsaid and unexpressed, the more energy is spent on replaying mental conversations. This is normal for a breakup, because the one who is being left usually remains confused and does not have time to fully react, while the other party does not particularly go into explanations.

After you have freed yourself from old emotions and experiences, it’s time to fill your life with new ones. Maintain high social activity, both with trusted friends, and remain open to new acquaintances, even if you don’t want any relationship right now. Go on a trip or start exploring a new destination that interests you. Anything that will give you new emotions and knowledge, that will make you look at the world a little differently.

What not to do when a girl dumps you

There are a number of mistakes that you are tempted to make when a girl leaves, but it is worth taking control of the first impulses, based on an emotional outburst and not correlated with adequate behavior, because they can cause harm (by ruining your reputation, causing the girl to get scared and call the police and ban you and change your address).

Catch up with the departing one, return, showing signs increased attention, not worth it. If, while in a relationship, you did not invite her to a cafe and did not give flowers, then bouquets after she refused to be with you may be perceived as an attempt to buy her. If you realized only after the breakup that this was the woman of your life, you don’t need to show up on her doorstep with a ring. Most likely, she waited for this gesture for quite a long time and under other circumstances, but now everything inside is burned out and she doesn’t want it, or she wants it, but not like that, or there are many other options, none of which will make her return. Remember that all signs of attention must be paid in a relationship, and they need to be strengthened when the first chill appears, and not when you have separated and divided the aquarium fish.

No less negative actions include open harassment and surveillance. It sounds like you want to talk to her, so it's okay to come in person when she doesn't answer the phone. In the girl’s perception (and the law, too, by the way), this is considered a violation of personal boundaries and safety. You can achieve anger, contempt or fear in your address, depending on the girl herself. Hidden surveillance of her movements or on social networks, provoked by your concern or concern, will most likely become obvious, and then the girl will take measures to deprive you of any opportunity to learn something about her. Think right away whether you need something like this if you want to continue communication in a friendly manner.

As for yourself, you shouldn’t look for salvation or entertainment in alcohol; it usually enhances existing emotions, under the influence of which you can start doing extremely undesirable things (calling her in the middle of the night and begging her to come back, threatening her current boyfriend or breaking into her apartment) .

If, after breaking up, you are thinking about returning, then you should not tell your friends about the breakup; you can label what is happening as a crisis or temporary difficulties. Not to be confused with trying to keep all emotions to yourself and not using moral support, this is something worth doing and will help you avoid many rash actions. But designating your status as free people, and the couple as separated, can lead to many questions from the outside, to unnecessary advice and conclusions, in addition, it will be more difficult to get back together after this. If there is a warming in relations, it can easily be extinguished by an inaccurate question. And don’t forget that there are guys waiting for your failure to start courting your girlfriend, then by keeping information about the breakup secret, you will slow down their activity in courtship.

There is no question of presenting a girl in a negative light, whether you intend to continue the relationship or not. The girl will never forgive such a review, which means revival is impossible (she will not be imbued with a sense of guilt, as expected). In addition, this spoils the reputation, on the grounds that both are to blame for the problems, and a guy who only says bad things about his ex and blames her for everything will not win sympathy from girls, so do not condemn her to loneliness, even if she was a monster.

What to do if a girl leaves you and goes to someone else

If a girl leaves the relationship first, this in itself is a blow to the man’s emotional sphere, and if she leaves for another, then both the ego and the perception of the world come under attack. Naturally, from such a shock, emotions rather than logic begin to predominate in male behavior, and these emotions are often destructive in their power. Someone may start drinking alcohol, someone may become verbally or even physically aggressive towards the girl’s new boyfriend, while others, blaming the girl for everything, begin to take revenge on her. Such methods are not a solution, and it is better to find the reason why the girl exchanged you for another. The most pleasant of all possible is that the girl initially did not experience any feelings and was simply biding her time with you until a more suitable candidate came along. But, unfortunately (or fortunately), this particular reason is far from the top of the list of reasons that force girls to leave relationships. And the root cause is dissatisfaction with the current relationship (little attention or care, a lot of rudeness and), because the guy’s attitude has changed.

A relationship crisis and similar changes are visible in advance, and if you didn’t notice, hear or do anything, then constant comparisons will not be in your favor, and if there is someone nearby who will always help, then the girl leaving for him is not a low act. So reduce your emotional response and begin to deal with your own reactions and behavior in this relationship, rather than blaming everyone around you.

As with any separation, the list of actions that should not be performed remains relevant, and in a situation where she has another man, the consequences of committing rash acts will be more serious than if the girl were alone. But strive for own development- an excellent strategy, the goal of which is to be better not only in comparison with the current guy, but also with yourself. Obviously, before leaving, there was information about what did not suit the girl and why her new young man was so good - this is approximately the vector of your development.

If, despite what happened, there is a desire to return her and the strength to forgive, then not by returning the past, but by conquering her as a new passion. Try to get to know your ex again, and you will really notice how she has changed, do not interfere with her body, even remembering every centimeter and every reaction, because you would not pester a new acquaintance like that. This tactic will allow the girl to see sincere interest and feel the missing attention and care. Stay positive and remember that your ex-girlfriend will be following you for some time, and what information you provide to the world will determine how your future interactions will turn out.

Probably every man has found himself in a situation where a girlfriend begins to speculate on the topic of separation, or even collect things for prevention. Not everyone has the strength and courage to help their loved one pack her things and send her to her mother so that the girl can come to her senses. Most guys start to panic and tear up the forums with the question: what to do, ?

True, the most effective and simple recipe for how to behave if a girl has left turns out to be too difficult for lovers - you just need to take a break.

But everyone immediately begins to itch to tell about their love and convince the runaway bride. A woman would be glad to get bored and rethink her impulsive behavior, but incessant pleas and calls greatly reduce your importance, turning you into a rag in her eyes. So don’t fuss and for a while try not to blow your mind with fear of how to remain the boyfriend of a girl who left.

Let's say you've dealt with your emotions. Now it’s time to think with a clear head about what to do if a girl with whom you really don’t want to end the relationship has left.

Analyze which of the four main reasons for the end of a relationship you were at fault for. If the balance of importance has been upset and the girl has stopped respecting you, urgently restore your position in her perception.

? Don't run after her, don't humiliate yourself, don't call or try to talk. It was her decision, and she is responsible for the broken relationship. Believe me, she understands this, and if you don’t run at her first whistle, when the girl gets bored and begins to doubt the correctness of her choice, your importance will increase sharply.

In the meantime, while your beloved is maturing, start improving yourself - take care of yourself, your career, your hobby.

We give the same recommendations when a girl has lost interest in you. The topic of maintaining interest in yourself must always be kept in mind, even when love is cloudless. Being in demand, being able to amuse and captivate are important qualities so that the girl never leaves.

How to get back when a girl left because of unjustified expectations and unfulfilled needs is a more delicate job.

Here a man is required to have good reflection and an objective view of the relationship. Often you are sure that you did everything, and she, ungrateful, left. And it’s very unpleasant to face the truth and admit that you didn’t give any rest with your jealousy and authoritarianism. Or you promised with the best intentions, you didn’t want to deceive, and after another “darling, I’ll give you that star” she turned around and left.

In these cases, you will have to change point by point, removing those negative qualities that destroyed your relationship and actually proving to the girl that past mistakes will not be repeated.

In any case, it is better to think about how to prevent the girl from leaving after the first alarm bells than to glue broken feelings back to smithereens.

So something terrible happened to you. Your beloved and only girl gone...

Perhaps you lived together, and she somehow packed her things and moved to her place. Perhaps she told you a phrase "let's remain friends." Or maybe she offered you “Separate for a while, live separately.”

As it were, you broke up.

And this often sounds like a bolt from the blue. Unexpected, tough and frightening.

You know, girls don't break up that easily. It often happens that they for a long time They are silent, they hope that you yourself will understand everything and change, and will do everything so that your relationship again becomes wonderful, interesting and exciting. And only when nothing has changed for a long time do they decide to leave. After all, most likely your relationship has recently lost its former color? Perhaps for 3 months, or even more, you have been going out less often, perhaps the routine has sucked you in and now the girl has become not a goddess and a princess for you, but just a pleasant addition that will not go anywhere.

You relaxed and lost it.

But if you now gather your mind and will into a fist, then you have a chance to return everything. And it's easier than it seems.

First of all, calm down. Your emotions, especially negative ones such as aggression, anger or resentment, will not help anything, but will only make things worse. You know, if you suddenly get upset with her, call her and say nasty things, you will only convince her that her decision was right. Do you need it? If you call and beg her to come back, even better. Once again you will show yourself weak-willed. But girls don’t need such men and she will draw conclusions... Do you need this?

So calm down and start thinking. Sports help a lot to calm down. Active hard training. Just start going to the gym. There is no opportunity (money or time) to start exercising in the morning. Anyone can wake up 5 minutes earlier and do a few push-ups, or pump up their abs, go to the horizontal bar, and so on. You can also start running, this also helps. And also try to remove out of sight everything that reminds you of your relationship. It's about about all sorts of photo frames, gifts and so on. You need to calm down and now all this will only bother you.

2-3 days of hard training will help you come to your senses, also talk to your friends and loved ones, try to go somewhere that interests you. But! There is no need to discuss your ex with your friends. Phrases from friends like “okay, kill all the women...uks” will never help you and will only aggravate the situation. Remember, your aggression will only make the situation worse. It's better to talk about something not related to relationships. Hobbies, interests, all this can distract you well and give you new emotions that will help you come to your senses.

And then you need to start thinking. And you know, “even the dullest pencil is better than a sharp thought,” so take a pen and paper and write down for yourself everything that concerns your relationship. Namely, all the reasons why you broke up. And then try to see if you can change it. Maybe she didn’t like that you didn’t go anywhere with her and the relationship became lethargic and uninteresting? In this case, think about how you can start spending time with her in the near future. And it doesn't have to be just once. You should make your lifestyle interesting and introduce such a pastime into your life, then your girlfriend will like you much more. Maybe you had problems with something else. Think about what else you can improve.

After working through this, you need to make a plan on how to change. And start getting better. Do what you prescribed for yourself. And then try to see your ex-girlfriend. If you don’t force yourself on her, if you haven’t communicated with her for some time (2-3 weeks), then most likely she will want to communicate with you herself. She will just be interested in how you are doing there, because before you saw each other every day and now you have disappeared from sight. I discuss these actions in more detail in full version books “” or in individual consultations with your clients in coaching.

It’s worth thinking through the meeting, you need to amaze her with your novelty, show her that you have changed, make it clear that with the new you it will be much better than it was before. With the right actions, she herself will want to see you again. And if you do everything right, then getting your ex back will no longer seem as difficult as it seemed when you first broke up with her.

I truly believe that if you want your girlfriend back, then you have every chance. As long as everyone is alive, there are no hopeless situations. In my individual lessons, I often see how relationships can change ex-girlfriends, to their ex when he gets better. And if he really loves his girlfriend and wants to get her back, then he achieves this no matter what.

If you want to learn more about getting your exes back, I recommend you read my book. And if you want to get real results as quickly as possible, then sign up for an individual consultation, all this is written in the services section:

I sincerely believe that if you love your girlfriend and want to return your relationship with her, then you will succeed! The main thing is to make a decision to act now and performing not very difficult actions will help you get your ex-girlfriend back!