Divorces / 19.10.2020

Words of condolences to the relatives of the deceased are short in prose. How to delicately express condolences over the death of a loved one

Many friends and relatives want to support difficult moment, but it is often difficult to find any words of support. It seems that by saying a word you will only make the person worse, but on the other hand, it is impossible not to support. That is why we will look at how to support a person after the death of his loved one.

How to behave in difficult times

To behave correctly in such a situation, let’s use the advice of psychologists:

Do it sincerely and in a timely manner. Remember that if you expressed condolences after a long time, or did it for the sake of formality, then the person will understand it.
Offer help that you can actually implement. After tragic events, at first a person cannot always perform even everyday tasks. Help your loved ones, offer, for example, to take your children to kindergarten, help in notifying other relatives, organizing funerals, etc.
Better not leave the grieving person alone. A person who has lost a loved one is in many different psycho-emotional states. You may not ease the grief, but you can control this period so that things don’t get worse.
It's not always worth saying something. After your first phrase of condolence, the mourner may want to speak out. It is important to let him do this and not bother him with unnecessary advice and thoughts.
Help us understand grief. It is almost impossible to fight grief; the person will not be brought back and the grief will not go away. Therefore, it is important to help accept it and live with it further. Advice about being stronger does not always have the desired effect, just let the person survive his misfortune.
Be tolerant. After a strong emotional shock, which manifests itself in grieving people, they may develop anger towards everyone around them. Be patient and don't take things personally.
Help with preparation. It will be easier for the mourner if you help with the planning and organization of the funeral and memorial days.
Watch your health. It's no secret that emotional shock can also affect your health. In this case, if a person experiences pain in the heart area, or there is a sharp change in temperature and pressure, it is better to go to the hospital. It is better not to delay this, especially if the person has previously had heart-related diseases.

Are you in a difficult situation? Let us help you say goodbye to your loved one with dignity.

Correct expression of words of condolences

At such moments it is difficult to say something, and even more so to correctly and consciously formulate your thoughts, so it is important to understand how to present it correctly .

First of all, don't be afraid of your feelings.. True sincerity will be a better option than beautiful, but not sincere words. An offer of help is also a word of condolences. The person will be pleased that you are ready to help him.
If a person is a believer, then It wouldn’t hurt to pray for the repose of the soul together with the mourner. A joint ritual will help you get closer to the person.
After saying condolences, you can talk to the person. For example, you can remember events that were associated with this person. It's good that these events are shown good qualities this person.
Despite the fact that words of condolences are a rather important element of grief, It’s better not to drag out speeches into long monologues. The mourner will simply get tired of listening to you, but he already has something to think about.

Famous words of condolences on death

Trouble can creep up suddenly, so if something happens, it’s better to know what to say. Here are some of the most famous condolence phrases:

I mourn with you, please accept my condolences.
It is impossible to find words to fully express my sympathy. My condolences
This event was simply shocking. It's hard to come to terms with this
It is difficult to verbally express this pain of loss.

If your mother or grandmother died

She will take care of you even in the next world. In memory of (mother, grandmother) you need to hold on. Eternal memory.
I sympathize with your misfortune and empathize. Let us remember the name (mother, grandmother) only with a kind word.
It is impossible to fully comprehend that (name) is gone, but she will forever remain in our hearts. It's hard to accept this.

Condolences for the loss of a father or grandfather

We will keep only fond memories of him.
It's hard to really comprehend this grief. I sympathize with your grief.
Your father was really strong man. Be wise and strong like him, finish what he didn’t have time to do.

If the husband died

There is not enough strength to cope with such grief. But we must not forget that life goes on and he would like you to be happy. Your love will remain eternal!.
My condolences with all my heart. You for a long time were together, it’s hard to even imagine that he’s gone now. Don’t lose yourself, remember about your children, they also need help to survive this grief. I'll help you.
Difficult to pick the right words. (Name) cannot be returned, but remember that we are always there and will help at any moment.
Of course, (Name) cannot be returned, and the loss cannot be compensated. Let us remember with a kind word. If you need anything, be sure to contact us.

Words of support upon the death of a friend or brother.

I remember you when you were little, you were often together. We will remember him until the end. As long as you are alive, we will always remember this.
It is a pity to realize the loss of a person who has not yet seen so much. Let us remember only with kind words.
It’s difficult to come to terms with such a loss, then you hold on for yourself and for the sake of your loved ones, together you are stronger.

Condolences in writing

It also happens that you cannot meet the grieving person in person, and a telephone call is either impossible or inappropriate. In this case, words of consolation come to mind in writing. Of course, it all depends on the situation; in some cases it is still better to call, however, etiquette standards do not prohibit this. It is better to send such words in the first days after death, or at least after you find out about death. At the same time, you cannot do this on postcards on the day of burial.

This type of condolence usually comes with more responsibility. After all, you are not doing this on the fly, you have to think everything over. Therefore, phrases of grief can be a little more authentic; do not forget to express condolences, note the strengths of the deceased and encourage the mourner.

This is truly a big loss for all of us. It's difficult to fully express my condolences. We remember him (her) as a strong, cheerful and sympathetic person. Please accept our condolences, we are with you."
It's hard to fully comprehend that (Name) is truly gone. I remember him as a pleasant and respected person, and I think many saw him the same way. I express my condolences, hang in there and be strong.”
Deep sorrow passed through our hearts. Indeed, it is difficult to say goodbye to such a person. I sympathize with you with all my heart, and if anything happens, I’m ready to provide any support.”

In the age of information technology, words of condolences can be sent not only by mail, but also via the Internet. Of course, SMS messages, social networks and instant messengers are sometimes not the most best option, however, is still acceptable in many cases.

What's better not to say

Many people of conscious age have not had close encounters with death, and therefore they do not know how best to express their grief. Even with the best intentions, sometimes fatal mistakes are made when expressing condolences, which will only make things worse for the mourner and can ruin relationships between people.

Psychologists strongly advise against using such sayings:

Words about the future. A person who has lost a loved one cannot now think about any future, new plans or anything else. He only has the here and now, and in this now his loved one has died. Such words would be even more inappropriate when the parents’ child died and they are consoled that they will still have a child in the future.

Don't look for someone to blame. There is no need to look for extremes either in the form of the deceased himself or in the form of other people. It is forbidden to say that if someone had done wrong, he would now be left with his life. In addition, there is no need to say that he drank all his life and died early,” there is no need to speak badly about the dead, especially during the mourning period.

Is it worth expressing condolences in the form of poetry?

During such a period, it also happens that emotions, on the contrary, are difficult to contain, and it is quite possible to write a play or poem. In this case, the question arises: Is it worth expressing condolences in the form of poetry? In more cases, it’s still not worth it; condolences should be simple and understandable. Now the mourner does not have the strength to comprehend any complex works; he perceives only emotions.

However, there is an option when this is acceptable. For example, the deceased and his relatives were engaged, for example, in writing poetry. Or they were deeply well-read people, adored the classics and attended literary circles. In this case it may be appropriate, but again it's best not to overdo it. It is better to write a quatrain, a maximum of two quatrains, you should not leave double meanings, maximum light metaphors.

Is it worth writing an SMS with condolences?

Answering the question: Is it worth writing an SMS with condolences, let's say that in most cases it is better to at least call. Still, this method in most cases looks like a formality that you did for the sake of decency. However, again it all depends on the situation.

For example, if you are not a close acquaintance, and you feel that talking to you can only make things worse, then it is better to actually write a message. The same applies to those moments when a person simply hates talking on the phone. The correct presentation will allow you to make this moment not as an unsubscribe, but as a special gesture that you made in favor of the mourner.

An example of a message could be: I learned about your loss, I could not remain silent and I want to express my sincere condolences. I thought about calling or not, but I remembered that you don’t really like phone calls. If you need anything, be sure to contact us. Hold on for yourself and your loved ones, I know you are strong and can handle this.

You might find it interesting.

The loss of a loved one is a great grief for any person. In such life situation he needs sympathy and help from relatives, friends and acquaintances.

Therefore, it is important not to remain indifferent and to support people in connection with the death of relatives, so that they do not feel alone.

This material discusses how to properly express condolences to family, friends, colleagues, and acquaintances in the event of the loss of relatives.

The interpretation of the word “condolence” is given in many dictionaries. It is called sincere empathy for a person’s grief, expressed by others.

If we consider the meaning of the word, it does not speak of sharing an illness, but expresses sharing misfortune with another in order to reduce the feeling of pain.

Condolence shows that those nearby do not remain indifferent and experience misfortune together.

How to express it correctly to your family and friends?

It should be borne in mind that the loss of loved ones causes an aggravation of feelings, so such people will always feel words spoken insufficiently sincerely.

When dealing with words of consolation, you need to be tactful and correct so as not to hurt the person even more.

Condolences are expressed in various forms if they have died:

Grandmother, grandfather, distant relative.
Mother, father.
Sister, brother.
Daughter, son.
Husband, wife.
Friend, girlfriend.
Colleague.

When addressing the family and friends of the deceased, do not forget how much he meant to them, how great the loss is.

If words of consolation are spoken verbally in a personal manner, adhere to the following rules:

Remain sensitive by saying short phrases, do not turn your words of sympathy into a long speech.
It is recommended to prepare in advance, rehearse what is said, and think in advance about how to say it correctly.
Imagine the deceased - the phrases will take on a personal, not abstract character.
Remember funny situations associated with the deceased, cheer up the mourners by evoking positive emotions.
Avoid embarrassment, remain natural, do not be shy in expressing feelings.
Words can replace just a friendly hug, touch, warmth is confirmed by action.
Don’t forget to offer support to the family and the bereaved person personally – help with registration, fundraising, etc.

Mistakes in behavior will aggravate the grief. The following is not allowed:

Calls to calm down indicate a lack of understanding of the loss suffered.m
Inspire a person to forget about this death, convincing him of the need to look for the positive.
Speak badly about the deceased.
Condescending statements about such grief with other people, such a tragedy is experienced individually.
To assert that many people have it harder.
Use hackneyed, banal phrases that do not reflect personal opinion.

If you can't find the right words, it is better to remain silent than to be tactless. Do not force the mourner to answer; in deep grief there are no answerable words.

When expressing sympathy for Muslims, Jews, Orthodox Christians, Catholics, and people of other faiths, take into account the religion and nationality of the mourner so as not to unknowingly offend the person.

Do not try to speak in Kazakh, English, or another language if you have an insufficient level of preparation: you can distort the meaning of a phrase that is not spoken decently enough due to errors in pronunciation.

What words to choose for colleagues and friends?

We are not always close with our colleagues, but in a situation with the death of loved ones we cannot remain indifferent.

Even if you haven’t communicated with the person, you can’t pass by indifferently in a difficult situation, simply nodding in greeting. With such life difficulties, the support of the team is important.

But don't bother with excessive attention. It is enough to say sincere words or just give a friendly hug to a colleague.

If such a misfortune happens to a friend, all possible support is needed - this is how true friendship manifests itself. Offer assistance in material and organizational terms.

Do not step aside, even if they do not make a request - a friend may simply be out of his mind, such an event for anyone is something transcendental, impossible to comprehend.

Don’t leave your friend alone with grief, talk less and do more, this will determine a lot.

Condolences in prose

When addressing the mourners, use phrases in prose, without resorting to newfangled condolences in verse.

This looks unnatural and pompous, indicating your insincerity and desire to beautifully pronounce other people’s phrases without expressing personal sympathy.

If it is not possible to contact you in person, please call the text of condolences can be sent via SMS, telegram, message on social networks.

Here are some examples of phrases:

I will never forget him, he did a lot for me.
Hang in there, we will support you. Everything will be alright.
I remember he said: there is no need to be discouraged in any situation. He will stay with us.
We will pray for him. You will not be alone, we are nearby.

Do not forget: any phrases written on paper, even the most sincere ones, cannot replace live participation. Take the time to help in a difficult situation.

Condolences are appropriate after the death of a loved one and on the anniversary of a sad event. Do not forget about the dates of death of close acquaintances, friends, relatives; on these days, help will not be superfluous.

Examples of written text

When dealing with words of consolation, one should consider in connection with whose death they are pronounced.

The table shows examples of various phrases of condolences offered in writing regarding the death of relatives and friends:

In such a situation it is difficult to speak, but even if you do not know the mourner, or the deceased is unpleasant to you, you cannot remain indifferent.

Maybe your sympathy will make the pain of loss less.

Words of condolences regarding a death are one way of showing sympathy for a person who has suffered a loss. They express themselves in short phrases of their words to the relatives of the deceased, sincerely, from the heart, orally or in writing. When offering condolences, you need to be extremely tactful and not say too much. Consider the degree of relationship, cause of death, and the person’s faith. Believe me, this is not easy for everyone, so there is something to talk about in the article, namely, how to express words of sadness.

What the heart tells you

On an intuitive level, people understand that in such situations support is necessary. A suffering person always seeks participation from those around him. But not everyone can choose the appropriate phrases and expressions; for many it is difficult.

If you have an inner feeling that words are unnecessary in a particular situation or you may get confused when saying them, it is better to come up and hug the person. Most often this is the most best way condolences. A silent hug shortens the distance and helps him realize that his loss is understood and he is not alone in his grief.

What can you say to the loved ones of the deceased?

At the same time, tactile contact is not always appropriate. Therefore, it is important to have an idea of what is said on such days. There is no need to make a long speech. Words of grief should be succinct in content, but short.

In what form is it appropriate to express condolences?

A quick form of communication is not suitable (SMS, Viber) when you need to convey the depth of feelings - this is not the best way. The best way to express your support is in person, at a meeting or during telephone conversation. You must speak from the heart and in your own words.
If you have poetic talent, then write a poem. However, on the day of a person’s death, reading it will be inappropriate. This option is suitable for a wake on the ninth day or on the first anniversary of death. The poem does not have to be read. It is better to write it on paper and place it next to the photograph of the deceased.
Alternatively, you can submit an obituary to a newspaper. A funeral note can be individual or collective. However, this does not replace personal communication.

Common phrases of mourning

There are well-known mournful phrases, among them:

"May the earth rest in peace." They say it after burial and at wakes.
“The pain of loss cannot be expressed in words.”
“I offer my condolences and sincere sympathy for your grief.”
“Please accept my condolences on the death of (name of deceased IU).”
“We will keep in our hearts the good and bright memory of (IU).”
“I was shocked to the depths of my soul by your grief. I mourn with you."
"My condolences. It's hard to believe that we won't see (IW) again. I share your pain of loss."

How to Tactfully Offer Help

If it is possible to provide financial assistance, then this needs to be done in person; it is unlikely that they will ask you for money, although a funeral is always a big expense. If you wish to participate in the period of preparation, conduct or after the funeral ceremony, you need to offer your services. The person will know that there is someone to turn to.

Phrases you can use to express your desire to support a grieving person:

“Allow me to provide you with financial assistance.”

“I will be there and provide all possible assistance to you and your family.”
“You can count on my support these days. I will help in resolving any (or specific) issues.”
“Don’t be shy, count on my participation.”
“I really want to help, count on me.”

Offering help must be sincere. In order for a person to feel your participation, he may really need it, then as the words are spoken, take his hand(s) in your palms and squeeze lightly. The mourner will definitely feel the sincere power of your words.

Forms of expressing condolences

The depth of the experience varies depending on who exactly the person has lost. How to cope with the loss of friends or a close relative: mother, father, children. Therefore, words of condolences must be selected in accordance with the loss that has occurred.

The cause of death must be taken into account; it may vary:

Due to old age.
Due to a serious illness.
Early, sudden, premature death.
Tragic death, accident.

The only unshakable condition that must be observed is to speak words of condolences sincerely and from the heart.

Words of condolences

Regarding the death of grandmother or mother

If a person has lost his mother or grandmother, then you can support him with the words:

“I share the pain of loss and experience it with you. I will remember (IU) with the warmest words.”
“This loss is difficult to accept. It’s painful to even think that (IU) is no longer with us, but the bright memory will always remain in our souls.”
“How early God took your mother. How hard it is for you, what grief. Please accept my sincere condolences."
“Sincere condolences to you, my dear. What a wonderful person has passed away. It’s like a candle has gone out.”
“The eternal memory will remain in my soul of your mother (grandmother). She was always kind and welcoming. I mourn with you."

Regarding the death of a father or grandfather

Words of loss regarding the death of a brother, father or grandfather:

“Please accept my sincere condolences. I feel deeply about caregiving. He was a support for you and your loved ones.”
“(name of the deceased) was a strong personality. Therefore, we need to be wise and persevere through this grief. We will continue what he did not finish.”
“We will carry the good memory of him throughout our lives.”
“I offer you my deepest condolences. I am very saddened by the death of your (IU). He was a wonderful man and we will miss him just like you.”
“Please accept my condolences regarding the passing of your loved one, loved one. Be strong, I am always with you."

Regarding the loss of my husband

If a woman’s husband has died, then express your sympathy like this:

“Sorry for your loss on the death of your husband. You went through life together, but you had to experience this grief. We will help you get through these difficult days. Be strong."
“It is impossible to make up for the loss. But the Lord will give you strength to survive the loss. We will always keep the bright memory of (PS).”
“It’s difficult to find words of consolation. The loss is irreplaceable, but we will be there, remember that.”

Regarding the death of a brother or friend

If a person’s brother or close friend has passed away, you can express your support with phrases such as:

“An irreparable loss. We can't believe he's gone. Eternal memory (IU).”
“He left this world, but remained in our hearts. We will remember him as long as we live."

Words of encouragement

Relatives of the deceased

You can express condolences to the relatives of the deceased in writing by sending a message or telegram:

“Please accept our condolences. It's hard to talk, and even harder to come to terms with the loss. Blessed memory."
“It is impossible to resurrect (IU) with words, but we will be there. Eternal memory to the golden man."
“A bright man has left our world. Grief cannot be expressed in words. He (she) lived modestly and quietly, and left as if a candle had burned out. Kingdom of Heaven."

To a close friend or girlfriend

If grief happened to a close friend, then you can express condolences to him with words such as:

“Your grief has deeply wounded my heart. I don’t know if my words will console you, but you can count on me in everything. Let us pray together for the soul of the deceased.”
“Please accept my condolences my friend. I deeply respected (IW). It is difficult to find words of consolation, as I understand the severity of the loss. I will be there and together we will survive this grief.”
“My friend, I am sincerely sorry that he (she) left, but (IW) is looking down on us from heaven. Be strong. Count on my support, I share your grief and troubles with you.”

To support a close friend, first of all, to be close to her. When you first meet, be sure to hug and say words like:

“My dear, Friend, I will pray for the peace of the soul (IU) with you. Only prayer will help you survive this grief.”
“Your grief is my grief. I experience it with you and thank fate that I was familiar with (IU and degree of relationship).”
“It’s very painful right now, my dear, be strong. I will support you in everything. You can count on my help at any moment."
“This news shocked me to the core. I will never forget how she (he) greeted guests, was kind to everyone and tried to help. I sympathize and cry with you.”

Work colleague

If grief happened to a work colleague, then you can support him with words such as:

“I know about the death of someone close to you. I will pray for the repose of his soul.”
“Please accept our condolences. We will pray for her (him). May the Lord reward her (him) for all the good deeds done on Earth.”
“We are shocked by what happened. We sincerely sympathize with you and offer our help.”
“The loss of someone close to you has shocked us. We share the bitterness of loss, mourn and pray with you. Eternal memory."
“The loss of a mother is a difficult grief. It's always difficult to say goodbye to loved ones. We mourn with you."

Regarding the death of a work colleague

If it so happens that a work colleague has died, then at the memorial table or in the cemetery you can say the following phrases:

“We worked together for several years and met almost every day. He was good worker, young colleagues took their example from him. He (IU) will forever remain in our memory as an example of life wisdom, humanity and honesty. May the earth rest in peace."
“His (her) dedication to work and friendly attitude towards colleagues will forever remain in our memory. We loved and respected (IU), and now we will remember kind words and prayer."
“He (she) was a great friend and colleague. We will miss (name of deceased). Kingdom of Heaven."
“It’s hard to believe that he (PS) is no longer alive. Just recently we went out to lunch together, drank coffee and laughed merrily. I will miss you, your advice and jokes. Sleep well."

Short phrases about the loss of loved ones

Sometimes it is enough to limit yourself to a few words, but they must be sincere:

“This news shocked me. It is difficult to accept and impossible to come to terms with. Be strong."
“I share with you the pain of loss.”
“This news came as a heavy blow. Let us pray and remember (IU).”
“He (she) meant a lot to us. We grieve with you."
“Grief clouds the mind. Be strong, he wouldn’t want to see your tears.”

Funeral words

Muslims

If a Muslim’s loved one has died, you can support him with the following phrases:

“May Allah forgive all the sins of the deceased and comfort you.”
“May Allah forgive the sins of the deceased.”
"May Allah have mercy on him."

Among the Orthodox

An Orthodox person can be supported with short phrases like:

“Terrible loss. I pray for the soul of the man of God (IU),”
“Bright peace to ashes (IU).”
"Rest in the Kingdom of Heaven."
"Rest in peace."
"The Kingdom of Heaven and Eternal Memory."
"God is merciful."
"Lord, rest with the Saints."

How to express sympathy to the parents of children who have passed away?

The death of children is a cruel mistake of nature. It is children who must bury their mothers and fathers, but not vice versa. There is no consolation for the parents, grief until the end of their days, only pray for their repose and be, if possible, close to the mourners.

2014 was a difficult year in my life, I almost lost my son, he is in a stroller, but alive. But he is with me, I can hug him, kiss him, press him. But this year, a friend of mine lost two minor children and her husband in a car accident. What words? They simply don't exist. She herself is a psychologist, works at a school where her children ran along the corridors. Where this woman got and gets the strength to live on, only she knows.

“What a misfortune. I mourn with you."

Tatyana Snezhina “We are only guests in this life”

Important points

When offering words of condolences to any person regarding death, you need to pay attention to such nuances as:

When the situation requires an official tone, for example, the boss’s mother died, then you can express condolences in writing, from the entire team. If it was decided to present them personally, then this should be done by one person. You should not visit the mourner’s office or home in a group.
You should not read at a funeral or wake a poem that was found on the Internet. If it is truly sincere and corresponds to the situation, then you need to write it on paper and give it to the relative of the deceased.
Sad condolences to the most dear people express themselves in sincere words, moving away from cliched phrases. Universal Council not here. You need to listen to your heart. Often touching (hugs, hand on shoulder) is stronger touching words sympathy.
When pronouncing mourning words, you need to rely on 4 feelings: sincerity, desire to help, sympathy and attention to the person.
People in a state of deep grief may respond inadequately to even the most sincere condolences. You should not be offended by them or sort things out. Anger at the whole world, depression, guilt, rejection of what happened - all this is a variant of the norm. Awareness of the situation occurs differently for everyone. It takes time and sympathy from loved ones.

As Cicero said: “The life of the dead continues in the memory of the living.” Therefore, we need to remember about relatives and loved ones who have passed on to the next world. This is what you should teach your children.

Take care of yourself and your loved ones!

People can write obituaries to our newspaper. Question: Is it possible to use the word "condolence" in the plural? For example, the management and trade union committee of the enterprise express sincere condolences regarding the death of an employee. And also to this topic: is it possible to use the phrase “in connection with the passing of life”?

Combination express sincere condolences with the plural form it is absolutely correct.
Combination due to death correct, but an excuse in connection with better to replace.


	Question No. 274553

Good afternoon.
“I offer my deepest condolences to the families and friends of the victims.”
Is it possible to use the verb “bring” in relation to “condolences”? Or is it better to express it?