The wife doesn’t want her husband, what should she do? secrets that solve the problem. Total fatigue is decimating our ranks: why a wife doesn’t want to sleep with her husband
A woman refuses sex, saying she has a headache and doesn't
thinks that your headache is due to lack of sex
(joke)
I don't want sex with my husband - this is the sad thought that comes to many women after having children. The first 6 months – low libido is quite natural. However, lack of desire a year or two after the birth of a child - reason to think what is happening in the relationship with your man.
Other problems, conflicts and disagreements may arise in a marriage, resulting in dissatisfaction for one of the partners. Although external reasons can be completely different. Experts say sexual energy is another side of money. Thus, your household income will likely decrease. Overall, there are no good consequences.
If you don't lose interest in sex, but you can't do it as often as a person wants, there are several options for various reasons. Agree with your husband to the minimum amount that will satisfy him. If fatigue, work and housework reduce your lust and activity in bed, ask him to help you on such days, because you both need it. Perhaps this will help increase your lust.
3 possible reasons problems in sexual relations with husband:
1. Resentment, discontent, disappointment in family life.
From the story of a young mother: “I never understood when my husband suggested “making peace in bed” after a quarrel. Yes, I couldn’t look at him and didn’t want to! Quarrels did not contribute at all to the emergence of passion, as is often shown in the movies. Usually I wanted to cry and feel sorry for myself, and not kiss and hug a person who just a couple of minutes ago, in the heat of a showdown, told me nasty things!”
Restoring sexual desire can be done in other ways, so it is absolutely possible that you are the cause. Once you solve this problem, you will help yourself first, and in the end, everyone will win - both the marriage and the husband. In the same way, you can try to solve the problem if your cold man less likely. On the part of the husband, suppression of sexual desire can be caused by emotional fatigue, which is not compensated by the care and understanding of women.
Try to change your relationship with him by being more emotionally involved in his life. He will be able to relax and lust will increase. If a man does not want sex, this may be the result of an illness. Then you should consult a doctor. Pay attention to medications you or your spouse are taking, some of which reduce sexual desire, such as antidepressants. Hormonal effects are also unpredictable.
This is usually how resentment, dissatisfaction and broken trust manifest themselves. When a woman is upset or disappointed about something, it can be very difficult for her to get into a sexual mood. Lack of libido is not the silence and silence of our body. This is a way of saying: something is happening! And it happens, first of all, at the level of emotional intimacy, trust and understanding.
If there is often time for sex, why just put it on your agenda? It sounds strange, but it all depends on the approach. By introducing sex into your agenda, firstly, you will determine the time you spend with your husband. Second, be prepared and don't be reluctant to go to bed. You could even come up with something interesting or even put it in such a state that both are preparing for this process.
During the year of marriage, much was destined for little, and over time, any body gets used to strange hands, even if it is the hand of a dearly loved person. Start with simple things: look at what's around where you're having sex. Does it cause sexual desire?
Need to ask yourself questions : how do I feel now? What prevents me from feeling attracted to my man? What grievances create a barrier between you?
Closeness, emotional warmth - the first important condition , to sexual attraction could awaken again.
2. A woman does not get pleasure because sex does not happen the way she would like.
Let your bedroom just be yours, get rid of the routine, otherwise the orgasm will turn out to be “okay, now sleep” if your eye catches a pile of unpaid clothes. It is no secret that during the year of marriage the permissible threshold for naturalness increases. Do you always manage to prepare for your hobbies? If your answer is no, it's time to address the issue.
Bad breath from the mouth, lack of cleanliness of the body, waxing and similar things may seem normal, but in fact they do not improve the quality of sex. Sex with a partner doesn't give you the same feelings that you had before? Study this topic, watch videos or take special training. This will not only help you understand yourself better, but also give you the pleasure of excitement.
Another story: “I was always uncomfortable telling my husband that I wanted more, that I didn’t have time to feel anything. But he never offered to repeat it or asked anything. I was afraid to offend him, what if he thought that I bad opinion about his masculine abilities. That’s why I endured and endured. Only now I don’t want a husband at all, I still don’t really get anything.”
Be attentive to your partner's wishes. This is a mirror image of the previous point. As a partner, this will not be our business. Our task is to be attentive to his needs. If you don't want to do anything, find out why: Where did these sex taboos come from? Maybe they have blocked sexual satisfaction? Remember that your refusals reduce the quality of sex and, ultimately, the quantity.
Take a look at the benefits. The good thing is that this is the most obvious tool for improving sex. Sex toys in grocery stores, luscious videos, sexy eyes, power tools - all these things can attract you to your husband again. Only experts can solve your problems as they will know all the details. It’s not strange to turn to sexologists. In addition, they can help resolve sexual problems, if they are caused by deeper reasons. In other words, if you want to find a professional solution to the problem, you will surely find out that there are quite a few methods available now.
A woman may not want a husband because this intimacy is unsatisfactory. Very often in the family such topics are not discussed . A man may assume that a woman likes quick sex only because she has never said otherwise. And the woman is waiting for her husband to start paying more attention to her. As a result: the wife does not want her husband.
Solving Bed Problems Outside the Bed: 7 Tips. Obviously, if the routine marriage operation has killed your sexual relationship, you need to do something about this routine. Otherwise, all your sexual experiments will fall into the sinker's attempt to breathe air, holding your breath to the bottom.
In other words, the solution to bed problems must be looked outside the bed. Spouses should be interested in each other and discover something new. Useful new activities together are desirable in relation to creativity - after all, they activate stagnant sexual energy. These classes could be twisted dances such as tango or salsa.
Ask yourself: Does your husband know about your desires? Do you yourself know about your desires?
A deep conversation on this topic is another condition , which can change a lot in a relationship.
3. Suppressed aggression.
Another story: “After the birth of the child, my husband was almost never around. Even if he didn’t work, he found a reason to leave the house somewhere. He seemed completely unaware that I needed help. At the same time, he could wake you up in the middle of the night and ask him to “pay off his marital debt”! But who would give me my sleep and rest?.. This made me terribly angry, and for some reason I never had the courage to say it out loud. I seemed frozen in my anger...”
You can paint, hike, play strangers, go to seminars on sex topics together. Your task is to look at each other again, and in this case the meaning of “the new is the well-forgotten old” makes sense. If you're not having enough sex, you need to do more. If sexual intercourse is not satisfactory, it is necessary to improve the technique or come up with new options.
You don't have to remain silent about your doubts or complaints and assume that your partner's complaints are stupid. Don't ignore this topic, because sexual disharmony can have unpleasant consequences. The only daughter was born at the age of 10. marriage. Women and men are biologically different, but all other “parameters” cannot be related to these differences and thus differentiated. Patriarchal traditions have developed over thousands of years and are still very much alive. The person is like a person with an innate quality.
Psychological Law in Action: strong positive feelings cannot arise when strong negative feelings are suppressed. If you give too much, but at the same time do not know how to accept, if you become a victim, then most likely suppressed discontent is already growing inside. It accumulates every day and could already result in a stormy scene, breaking dishes... But healthy aggression continues to be suppressed for various reasons, and with it You also suppress sexual energy.
And a woman is equal to her husband only when she crosses it several times. After all, the very idea of what is normal becomes even funnier the further you go. After all, no one sets these standards and no one can define them. Standards change with times, customs and values. People who are at the same age, due to their different thinking and understanding, cannot agree on what is normal and what is not.
Families, unplanned siblings, friends and relatives value traditionally - something is wrong with this family. Don't reveal shame or judgement, and you don't accept norms. On the other hand, if a woman subconsciously opposes motherhood, denying or avoiding this need, she may show difficulties psychological woman: A study showed that about 80% of Mothers who refused to raise their children had mental or psychological disorders - anxiety, depression, emotional instability, various fears and even before birth.
Think about it: Do you allow yourself to openly express negative feelings? or are you ready to hold them back for a long time... a very long time?
The ability to express not only positive, but also negative feelings is the third condition a fulfilling sex life.
What family relationships in childhood can lead to a reluctance to have children in the future? If the decision not to have children is conscious, on the contrary, it can show the woman’s maturity. Psychologist Gintaute Malinauskienė. Undoubtedly, motherhood, as well as the formation of a healthy personality, strongly depend on family relations experienced in childhood. A girl who grows up in an atmosphere of love and affection and has been provided with parental care, without much training, will rely on her future motherhood and will be ready to face the problems that she will have to face in raising a child.
These are not all “locks” that fetter sexual energy and desires.
I invite you to figure out what else is preventing you from enjoying your relationship with your husband, the man you have chosen for life...
Often, many men hear their girlfriend refuse sexual contact. What are the most likely situations of refusal of sex on the part of a woman. Why does a wife not want a husband? What reasons drive a woman when she refuses intimacy to a once passionately loved man? Let's try to figure it out together.
A girl who grew up in a high-conflict family in which her parents did not provide her with security and did not meet her basic needs as a child may later be distrustful of neighbors, difficult partnerships, and child abandonment. An early example of the closest human relationships has a strong influence on women's choices in building a family.
It takes a significant amount of time, and sometimes heavy psychotherapy, for women to cope with trauma, suffer from resentment, restore basic security, begin to trust their communities, be able to create stable partnerships and feel an awakened desire to become mothers.
The main reasons for refusal of sex by a woman
Despite the worst assumptions, the reason for such female behavior may not be indifference. As experts who study issues of relationships between representatives of both sexes have established, such situations appear in the lives of men quite regularly.
One of the reasons for refusing sex can be disappointment. As you know, a lot goes through - falling in love also follows this rule. During previous meetings, many circumstances could have changed. It happens that a woman met some other man, but has not yet told her former boyfriend about it. It happens that a lover in love is partly to blame for the coldness of his girlfriend: women are well aware of the neediness on the part of fans or them in their masculine qualities. This may well become the basis for refusal of sexual contact, and often even lead to separation.
What psychological problems can cause a woman not to want children? However, women would not like to look at such a choice only as a result of psychological problems that they have. Often women who do not have significant psychological difficulties deliberately choose to live this way.
However, society's attitude is unfortunately still not favorable for them. Greatest impact on environment, which women continue to experience, appears to be related to children. The counseling process often involves women who have intentionally, or in some cases, chosen to live without children. No matter how much they have achieved and how they live, most argue that they face a clear devaluation because they are not born.
Do not show your love and dependence on a woman
A woman’s bad mood is another common reason why a partner is denied sex. But this situation does not at all imply as a solution that a man should rush to buy some kind of gift, or at least a bouquet of flowers, and rather give it to his girlfriend. Such hasty actions do not always give positive results. In this case, the man will only show his confusion and neediness, which will certainly be noticed by his girlfriend. The best solution for a rejected gentleman - to change his behavior, demonstrating to the woman his masculinity and independence.
But the key is to fully understand and support any woman's choices, and not to forget about freedom of choice and true self-worth, even if it does not conform to socially acceptable norms. The tenth felt like all the rough edges had been polished, the storm had survived, and no one else could have ended our marriage or made it feel like a complete failure. After reading the letter, many questions arose. First of all, why should you “become loved”? It is natural that rape, pride, when it does not want negative feelings, especially when we're talking about about the husband, because when we do something that we don't want to do, we get angry that we have to do it.
Women know their worth
Another reason for female refusal of sex is the fear of the fair sex to appear. Despite the fact that such fear arose in ancient times, when the norms of prevailing traditions were very strong, such anxiety is alive to this day. Often, a woman may fear that she will be judged for her passionate feelings, including by the man with whom she maintains a relationship. Oddly enough, a somewhat unusual approach helps in such a situation. A man needs to openly express to his partner his adequate attitude towards her passion and make it clear that he is not at all against having sex directly with this woman.
Although this is still a very big question, we should, so you have the right to love when you want, and the right not to love when you don't want to. a matter of agreement. On the other hand, perhaps every man whose wife does not want to get married asks why this is so. And it's likely that your husband's face doesn't look like he doesn't have an answer to this question. It sounds like he wants you to be a person as well as a friend. I'm having a hard time understanding whether you've found the answer. Finding the reasons makes it easier to solve this problem.
And at the same time it is difficult to understand what is not so good. Maybe you have found the answer for yourself. Usually one of the main reasons is usually some kind of negative attitude towards the person. Often these feelings are hidden, silent, not displayed in order to support good relationship, and not get confused in the name of holy rest. For sex, especially for women, is the culmination of the expression of love. What kind of love can there be? a positive, respectful, open attitude towards each other, what can there be passion for when there are many hidden negative feelings inside that are often hidden from ourselves.
Hygiene comes first
In practice, a woman’s reason for refusing sex may be bad smell from her partner. This is probably still one of the fundamental reasons for a woman’s refusal to have sex. To prevent this from happening, you need to follow generally accepted rules of personal hygiene. This will not only give the male body freshness, but also create a feeling of energy. In addition, a woman sometimes refuses sexual contact due to the fact that during this period she is having her period. Then the man should just wait.