What to do if a guy wants to quit. How to understand that a guy wants to leave you
How to find out if a guy will leave you. Have you started to notice that your boyfriend treats you differently? Are you in a panic and don't know what to do? Here are some tips on how to save your happiness. But first, think about it and decide whether this makes sense.
Situation 1. He doesn't include you in his plans for the future.
These plans may not necessarily involve living together. He may be reluctant to plan anything for the coming weekend. And just try to surprise him and drag him to his friends. Trouble cannot be avoided!
How to understand this: when planning something, he feels the burden of responsibility. By taking on such responsibility, he seems to acknowledge that there is a close relationship between you. And this is me, my worst nightmare!
You need to be an “iron” lady a little. Plan several events with him, but such that he feels not needed at them. If you are dear to him, he will understand everything.
What not to do: Don't make plans for life together, don’t beg him and don’t refuse fun activities. Enjoy life anyway.
Situation 2. He doesn't call
Calls from him are coming less and less often. Although just recently you talked for hours, several times a day. You constantly hear excuses from him. Either he has a lot of work, or he is busy, or he helps his parents.
How to understand this: he no longer experiences those overwhelming feelings as before. Afraid of routine, routine, and that your relationship may go far. But he is not ready to break off this relationship. That’s why he calls periodically to make sure that you are still waiting for him.
Be busy for him. He will immediately feel that you are not encroaching on his freedom and, perhaps, your relationship will go to a new level.
What you shouldn’t do: pester him with your calls and questions like “where did you go?” He will either change his phone number or blacklist your number.
Situation 3. You're annoying him!
In his opinion, “you are doing everything wrong.” Everything that he used to like now irritates him: the way you laugh, the way you style your hair, the way you cook.
How to understand this: he is tired. I'm tired of you. And he shows aggression to make parting easier and less painful.
Let all his reproaches pass through your ears. Most likely, you will end this relationship soon. Think for yourself, are they needed at all? Let him go!
What not to do: ask for forgiveness, cry and correct what is basically not necessary.
Situation 4. You feel it
Your seventh sense tells you that your relationship is about to end.
How to understand this: there are two options. Either you are paranoid, or your relationship is really heading into the abyss. You can try to correct this situation. The main thing is not to do something that you will regret in the future.
First, have an open conversation and discuss what doesn’t suit him in your relationship. You just need to start the conversation delicately - men don’t like such conversations.
What not to do: dump a guy without any explanation. What if it just seemed to you? Then you may have made a fatal mistake, and it will be very difficult to correct it.
If the husband met ex-love
How to prevent your husband from cheating
7 types of men you shouldn't marry
What you should never say to a man
A woman's view of the relationship between a guy and a girl
How to choose the right guy
How to marry a man
What role does a woman play in a man's life?
Your behavior young man Has it changed lately, and not for the better? And you so dreamed of a quick wedding! What to do? Try to save the situation, wait until they leave you, or leave him yourself without waiting for the shame? It all depends on how far it goes.
Signs that he is ready to get off the hook:
Sign 1. Your phone is silent.
Until recently, your boyfriend called you several times a week or even several times a day, but now the calls come less and less often. He makes excuses by saying that he is busy at work or at his parents' dacha.
What lies behind this: The initial release of endorphins and other hormones has dried up, and now he is afraid of everyday life, routine and that he will go too far. But he’s not ready to leave you yet. That's why he calls from time to time to make sure you're still waiting by the phone.
What to do: Become less available and very busy. Once he understands that you are not at all going to encroach on his personal time, he will feel more at ease with you. There is a high chance that your independence will spur him to a new level of relationship.
Wrong tactic: Constantly calling him and asking where he went. The consequences of this are usually changing his phone number or blocking yours.
Sign 2: Your sheets are in perfect order.
He has sex with you less and less. Of course, over time, the frequency of sex decreases for most couples, especially those living together for quite a long time. But if sex has been reduced to almost zero, the likelihood that he is having an affair is higher than ever.
What lies behind this: Perhaps the reason for this decline is health problems, troubles at work or serious domestic problems. But it could be worse - he is tired of monotonous sex with you.
What to do: Wait a while to rule out temporary problems that have nothing to do with you. Then prepare a surprise for him: a new sexual game, an erotic massage or an unexpected sexual position. If all else fails, it’s better not to waste time and “stay just friends.”
Wrong tactics: With your hands on your hips, ask point blank what’s the matter. Men are nervous creatures, and when it comes to sex, such questions unsettle them for a long time. It is quite possible that after such a question he will run away forever.
Sign 3. He is reluctant to make plans for the future.
Or there is no place for you in his plans. Moreover, it is not at all necessary that these are plans for life together. With the same reluctance, he can make plans for the coming Sunday - and then God forbid you buy two theater tickets without his knowledge.
What lies behind this: For him, planning any event in advance means dooming himself to responsibility and recognizing that there really is a certain relationship between you. And he is afraid of it.
What to do: Again, it is better to become unavailable for a while. Plan a few events with him, but in which there will be no room for him. If a guy really cares about you, he'll take the hint.
Wrong tactics: Beg, set firm rules, or refuse events, suffering alone. And it’s better to temporarily abandon plans for a long life together. After all, as soon as the fatal phrase is heard from your lips: “Darling, how many children do you think we will have?”, and there is already no trace of dear.
Sign 4: He gives a speech about how he needs more “freedom.”
And one thing is clear to you: he spends less and less time with you.
What lies behind this: Sometimes such “freedom” is simply synonymous with the word “Goodbye!” But sometimes a man really just needs more personal space. Such guys, the less they see, the more they love, and with the gradual development of deeper relationships, they themselves give up their precious freedom.
What to do: Give him this very freedom. Let go of the leash as much as you can without hurting yourself. Sometimes subtly remind him of your existence. But if the guy is more of a sea captain than you can handle, let him go for good.
Wrong tactics: Don't give him any freedom. And then he will soon go on a “great free voyage”, but he could “swim away” only for a little while.
Sign 5. You are starting to annoy him.
You suddenly do everything “wrong.” Even the things he once liked. Not a trace remained of the former condescension.
What lies behind this: He’s just tired of you. Often, a guy deliberately begins to show aggression so that the breakup would not be so painful for the girl.
What to do: If you are confident in yourself, do not take criticism personally. As they say, “water is off a duck’s back.” Although his behavior, alas, most likely means a quick break in the relationship. Well, why do you need such a relationship? Forgive and let go.
Wrong tactics: Cry, apologize for your behavior and try to correct something that, in principle, does not need to be corrected.
Sign 6. You just feel it.
Your sixth sense tells you that something is wrong between you.
What's behind it: Perhaps it's just paranoia and your lack of self-confidence. Or perhaps there really is some kind of problem in your relationship. Don't completely discount intuition.
What to do: Try to talk to him frankly and find out what doesn’t suit him in your relationship. And then try to fix the problems that arise. Just start the conversation with extreme caution - men hate such conversations. Therefore, be friendly and let him know that although you really want to be with him and will do everything for this, you will not hold him back if he is uncomfortable with you. Well, if you are uncomfortable with him, then you should first understand yourself and try to understand whether you need to be close to this person.
Wrong tactics: Dealing with a “preemptive strike” and leaving the guy first without any reason. If it turns out later that it was just “paranoia,” it will be very difficult, if not impossible, to restore the previous relationship.
Has your boyfriend's behavior changed lately, and not for the better? And you so dreamed of a quick wedding! What to do? Try to save the situation, wait until they leave you, or leave him yourself without waiting for the shame? It all depends on how far it goes.
Signs that he is ready to get off the hook:
Sign 1. Your phone is silent.
Until recently, your boyfriend called you several times a week or even several times a day, but now the calls come less and less often. He makes excuses by saying that he is busy at work or at his parents' dacha.
What lies behind this: The initial release of endorphins and other hormones has dried up, and now he is afraid of everyday life, routine and that the relationship will go too far. But he’s not ready to leave you yet. That's why he calls from time to time to make sure you're still waiting by the phone.
What to do: Become less available and very busy. Once he understands that you are not at all going to encroach on his personal time, he will feel more at ease with you. There is a high chance that your independence will spur him to a new level of relationship.
Wrong tactic: Constantly calling him and asking where he went. The consequences of this are usually changing his phone number or blocking yours.
Sign 2: Your sheets are in perfect order.
He has sex with you less and less. Of course, over time, the frequency of sex decreases for most couples, especially those living together for quite a long time. But if sex has been reduced to almost zero, the likelihood that he is having an affair is higher than ever.
What lies behind this: Perhaps the reason for this decline is health problems, troubles at work or serious domestic problems. But it could be worse - he is tired of monotonous sex with you.
What to do: Wait a while to rule out temporary problems that have nothing to do with you. Then prepare a surprise for him: a new sexual game, an erotic massage or an unexpected sexual position. If all else fails, it’s better not to waste time and “stay just friends.”
Wrong tactics: With your hands on your hips, ask point blank what’s the matter. Men are nervous creatures, and when it comes to sex, such questions unsettle them for a long time. It is quite possible that after such a question he will run away forever.
Sign 3. He is reluctant to make plans for the future.
Or there is no place for you in his plans. Moreover, it is not at all necessary that these are plans for life together. With the same reluctance, he can make plans for the coming Sunday - and then God forbid you buy two theater tickets without his knowledge.
What lies behind this: For him, planning any event in advance means dooming himself to responsibility and recognizing that there really is a certain relationship between you. And he is afraid of it.
What to do: Again, it is better to become unavailable for a while. Plan a few events with him, but in which there will be no room for him. If a guy really cares about you, he'll take the hint.
Wrong tactics: Beg, set firm rules, or refuse events, suffering alone. And it’s better to temporarily abandon plans for a long life together. After all, as soon as the fatal phrase is heard from your lips: “Darling, how many children do you think we will have?”, and there is already no trace of dear.
Sign 4: He gives a speech about how he needs more “freedom.”
And one thing is clear to you: he spends less and less time with you.
What lies behind this: Sometimes such “freedom” is simply synonymous with the word “Goodbye!” But sometimes a man really just needs more personal space. Such guys, the less they see, the more they love, and with the gradual development of deeper relationships, they themselves give up their precious freedom.
What to do: Give him this very freedom. Let go of the leash as much as you can without hurting yourself. Sometimes subtly remind him of your existence. But if the guy is more of a sea captain than you can handle, let him go for good.
Wrong tactics: Don't give him any freedom. And then he will soon go on a “great free voyage”, but he could “swim away” only for a little while.
Sign 5. You are starting to annoy him.
You suddenly do everything “wrong.” Even the things he once liked. Not a trace remained of the former condescension.
What lies behind this: He’s just tired of you. Often, a guy deliberately begins to show aggression so that the breakup would not be so painful for the girl.
What to do: If you are confident in yourself, do not take criticism personally. As they say, “water is off a duck’s back.” Although his behavior, alas, most likely means a quick break in the relationship. Well, why do you need such a relationship? Forgive and let go.
Wrong tactics: Cry, apologize for your behavior and try to correct something that, in principle, does not need to be corrected.
Sign 6. You just feel it.
Your sixth sense tells you that something is wrong between you.
What's behind it: Perhaps it's just paranoia and your lack of self-confidence. Or perhaps there really is some kind of problem in your relationship. Don't completely discount intuition.
What to do: Try to talk to him frankly and find out what doesn’t suit him in your relationship. And then try to fix the problems that arise. Just start the conversation with extreme caution - men hate such conversations. Therefore, be friendly and let him know that although you really want to be with him and will do everything for this, you will not hold him back if he is uncomfortable with you. Well, if you are uncomfortable with him, then you should first understand yourself and try to understand whether you need to be close to this person.
Wrong tactics: Dealing with a “preemptive strike” and leaving the guy first without any reason. If it turns out later that it was just “paranoia,” it will be very difficult, if not impossible, to restore the previous relationship.
In order to avoid such an unexpected turn of events, it is sometimes worth descending from heaven to sinful earth, so as not to find yourself abandoned and lonely. In fact, it is not so difficult to notice whether a young man has lost interest in you. Feel free to express your doubts, at least to yourself. If your intuition tells you that not everything is as smooth as it seems at first glance, then most likely it is so.
So, let’s move on to considering the main signs that symbolize that they want to break up with you:
The first alarm bell may be Your boyfriend's refusal to talk to you on the phone. Naturally, if you call him twenty times a day, then he can be understood, but in the case of a constant “the subscriber is out of range” response instead of a conversation, you should think hard about whether they want to communicate with you at all? You shouldn’t panic either, you never know what kind of problems a person has, but if you can’t get in touch within a few days, then he’s obviously avoiding you and is going to break up with you.
The next sign of an unsuccessful relationship is gradual extinction sexual desire your partner. As a rule, men are the initiators when it comes to lovemaking. Otherwise, your young man does not experience sexual attraction to you, and this sure sign that they stopped loving you.
Feeling uncomfortable is also a sign bad relationship . If you or your partner are uncomfortable in each other’s company, is it worth continuing a relationship that leads to complete indifference or even a feeling of hostility? Believe me, without passion and respect, a relationship cannot be called real, and staying with a person just to avoid loneliness is simply self-deception and it’s stupid to waste your life on him.
And the last, but important and indicative sign that you have fallen out of love is your boyfriend’s reluctance to go out with you, that is, he constantly comes up with all sorts of excuses just to spend the evening with his friends without you. Perhaps he is embarrassed by you or is simply not interested in spending time with you. In any of these cases, you find yourself unnecessary in his life, and this leads to the destruction of the relationship.
However, you should not immediately leave the guy yourself, because if you notice one of these signs in your relationship, then this does not necessarily mean that the young man has stopped loving you and he wants to break up with you. Before jumping to conclusions, talk to him and perhaps you will see that the reason for this behavior is not that he has lost interest in you. Remember that many problems in relationships can be resolved peacefully, without scandals and quarrels, and destroying what exists is always much easier than building something new. Love and understanding to you!