What should a husband do if his wife cheated on him? Cheated on her husband. What to do

The fact of betrayal of the woman you love can unsettle you strong man. If you find out that your best friend was looking for someone on the side and did not inform you about it, this is not an easy test.

When the familiar and seemingly so stable world collapses, you need to understand how to live on and what to do in the current situation. And first of all, any man wants to know what prompted his woman to cheat.

• Why did she do this?

There can be many reasons for female infidelity. First of all, it is important to take into account the personality characteristics of your partner. Some women are simply not capable of cheating, even if the existing relationship does not suit them at all. Others, on the contrary, tend to “go to the left” with or without reason. As a rule, such ladies perceive adultery as a game. Trying, they do not think at all about the feelings of another person and live, as they say, one day at a time. It is difficult to judge such women; they are often said about them: “well, she was born that way...”.

But it happens that even women who are not prone to cheating decide to take this step. And this happens in cases where they are not completely satisfied with the relationship, but for some reason they cannot end it. Maybe your “other half” lacks attention, warmth, or you have tortured her with your control. Very often, men themselves provoke deception when they cannot and poison a woman’s life with constant suspicions. Also common reasons for cheating is unsatisfactory sex life, lack of sincerity in relationships and the constant need to meet too high demands from a partner.

One more common reason female infidelity - husband's infidelity. If a man himself is often not inclined towards monogamy, his partner constantly experiences jealousy, has complexes about her own appearance and suffers. For many, the only way to restore self-esteem again is to have an outside relationship.

• Why does a woman need another man?

If men often take their trips to the side not very seriously, hoping to “take a walk” and then return to the bosom of the family, then for most women the search for another partner means that, firstly, she has reached the last stage of despair, and secondly secondly, what she is ready to create new family. If a woman is actively looking for connections on the side, this means that she is in search of a potential father for her children and is very serious.

At the same time, she feels not the best in the best possible way. Most representatives of the fairer sex at such moments are tormented by remorse; they do not like lying to their partner and at the same time it is very difficult. However, the opportunity to experience love again, not for one’s own sake, but for the sake of someone else, turns out to be stronger than the pangs of conscience. Every man needs to understand that a rival may appear not because the woman feels bad or is trying to take revenge. Perhaps love has come into her life, and there is nothing you can do about it, you just have to accept that your relationship will now change.

• How to live further?

Whatever the reasons for the betrayal, the man who finds out about it is faced with the question of how to move on. In the case of a partner’s betrayal, the answer lies in our internal scales, which check whether his actions are fair or not. For example, if a man understands that he himself is not sinless, if he sees what his actions led to betrayal, the scales of internal scales can reach balance.

In this case, the man, provided that he loves his partner, can enter into dialogue. True, before that he will need time to cope with his pain. If there is no understanding, and the man considers himself a victim of an insidious traitor, finding no justification for her action, he will strive to leave, even if the breakup of the relationship causes him great pain.

To do right choice, try not to let resentment and the desire for revenge guide your actions. In a state where negative emotions exciting, you can make a decision that will ruin your whole life. Therefore, if you find out that your wife has cheated on you, take time to make a decision, cope with yourself, relieve stress, and only then decide whether your relationship will have another chance.

Try not to weigh your actions on the scales of justice, but to feel how dear your woman is to you. If it is more important than wounded pride, try to understand it. Perhaps you are partly to blame for what happened. In this case, you will have a dialogue and an attempt to jointly decide how to live further. There is a problem in your family, and only you can find a way out together.

Statistics show that the number of marriages entered into and dissolved is almost equal. Not last place Among the causes of divorce is infidelity, especially female infidelity. Why - especially? Because for a husband, his wife’s betrayal is a complete collapse; he understands that she belonged to another man not only in body, but also in soul. For a woman, her own betrayal is a reason to reconsider her relationship with her husband and, perhaps, get rid of it as untenable or dependent. This is the reason that marriages are dissolved more often after female infidelity than after male infidelity.

People marry for different convictions, but rarely - for the true conviction, the only one suitable for marriage - the conviction of the need to be together at all times and under all circumstances. This is where the roots of betrayal, conflicts and divorces grow.

Why do women cheat and what should a husband do?

Women cheat for a variety of reasons. There are probably as many reasons as there are women who decide to cheat. But we can still highlight the most typical ones:

• A woman believes she is worthy best man. She could have married out of pity, which in principle should not be done, but for young women sometimes pity is equivalent to love. She could give in to the man’s persuasion and assurances that he would be lost without her. Over time, the rose-colored glasses fell, the veil of charm dissipated, and the wife discovered that she was married to a weak, weak-willed, poor-spirited man. If this is your option, then you either need to change yourself and your life, become self-confident, strong, successful, or continue to wear a branchy decoration on your head.
• The partners are not in a registered marriage, but cohabit or meet periodically. This in itself is not a reason for cheating in the normal development of a relationship. But if a woman is of little interest to a man, if she considers herself free and is in search of “her” man, then for her, cheating is a way to get to know other men and choose from them. In this case, the man should either set the limits of what is acceptable in the relationship and resolve them, or break up with the woman, since she will continue to cheat and seek.
• The woman is experiencing a deficiency. It doesn’t matter what she lacks - care, attention, money, sex, compliments. When she has a need that has not been satisfied for a long time, she will look for someone who will fill the void.
• The woman's self-esteem has decreased. Usually this leads to betrayal when a decrease in self-esteem occurred due to her husband’s attitude towards her. If he constantly criticizes his wife, emphasizes her shortcomings, regularly reminds her of her mistakes and mistakes, then sooner or later she will want to prove to everyone and herself that she is still worth something, that her husband is wrong. If the betrayal occurred for this reason, then the man should urgently change the manner of communication with his wife. Constant criticism will lead to the collapse of the family and the emergence of a persistent feeling of hatred in the wife towards her husband.
• The desire for revenge. Having suspected her husband of treason or having caught him in it, a woman often decides to strike him with his own weapon and cheats on him. It won’t get any easier for her, and her husband’s betrayal will resonate just as painfully in her soul, but these emotions will also be supplemented by disappointment from the casual affair. In this case, the husband has the opportunity to make amends for his own infidelity and relieve his wife of the burden of the mistake due to her infidelity. If the wife comes to the conclusion that she is better off with her lover, she can go to him, and her husband will not be able to return her.
• Coldness of the husband. Differences in temperament can also lead to betrayal. Lack of emotions, sensual dissatisfaction, a feeling of misunderstanding lead to the fact that a woman is looking for a more temperamental, sensual and emotional man on the side. In this case, the problem is personality traits. This cannot be corrected, since temperaments are given from birth and do not change throughout life.

The reasons may be completely different. If a man wants to save the relationship, he should find out about the reasons for a specific betrayal in order to eliminate it and return the woman.

How to deal with jealousy after cheating?

In normal healthy relationships, jealousy does not exist. Those who are jealous are those who know deep down that they cannot satisfy. Jealousy in general is a stupid and untimely thing. Either a person is jealous in advance, when the partner has no thoughts about the other person, or after, when the betrayal has happened. In other words, jealousy comes either too early or too late. You need to fight not with a jealous wife, but with the reasons that could push her to cheat.

If a wife has a lover, it means a crack has formed in her life. If you want to save your family and restore your relationship, all your energy should be directed toward healing the cracks, and not pursuing your wife’s lover, taking revenge on both of them, and other counterproductive things.

If preserving the family seems impossible, then jealousy is even more inappropriate. This woman has become a stranger, and feelings for strangers do not arise.

How to live after your wife cheats?

Betrayal is not a collapse, not a tragedy, not the end of life. This is a signal that not all is well with the person who was cheated on. This means that the relationship was built somehow incorrectly, that the one who was cheated on also behaved incorrectly. If it works out, then you should find out from your wife - without shouting, scandals and reproaches - why she decided to cheat. Then you need to remember what the marriage was based on. If the marriage was due to the pregnancy of the bride, coercion from relatives, because of the desire to go anywhere rather than live with parents, then betrayal in such a marriage is a logical and natural phenomenon. It does not exist where there is love. But in such a marriage there was no love. Love must be cultivated before fidelity can be demanded.

For some reason, many people understand love as dependence on the object of desire, they confuse it with sexual desire, as pity (this is especially typical for women “he will be lost without me”).

A “sucker” marriage based on the principle “I can’t live without you” is reminiscent of parent-child relationship. Either the man “adopts” his wife, or the woman “adopts” her husband. In such a marriage there is care, tenderness, and responsibility, but there is no healthy intergender love and no normal sexual component. After all, sexual intercourse between parents and children is incest, and this is a taboo not only in the human world, but also in the animal world. Therefore, marriages based on the principle “I can’t live without you” are practically doomed to betrayal and destruction. Even if a formal divorce does not occur, the marriage subsequently resembles the neighborhood of two strangers forced to share the same living space.

So, what should a man do after his wife cheats?

Reconsider your attitude towards marriage. There is no need to hang a banner outside the window with the inscription “all women are …” (the continuation of the phrase depends on the degree of intelligence of the man). This statement will never correspond to reality, so there is no point in admitting your stupidity. It will be much more productive to learn that marriage should be a union of two physically and spiritually healthy, independent, wealthy people. In fact, marriage should not be a necessity, because when the reason for the need for it disappears, it will no longer be needed. Marriage should ideally be a whim, a whim. Without marriage, a man and a woman are fine, they just want to be together and without any “because”. In such a marriage there is no place for betrayal, because it will be the absolute and independent choice of each party. Creating a family should be the work of physically healthy, spiritually developed, financially successful people.

You should start a new relationship with a woman when the poisoning of betrayal has completely passed. If you start telling your new chosen one how bad and lowly the “ex” acted, she will turn on “mommy” and begin to feel sorry... Then either the man himself will begin to cheat on her, because living with “mommy” is cozy and satisfying, but insipid and unsexy, or she will be disappointed and begin to reproach her for wasting her best years.

New relationships are built first on a common worldview. Therefore, marriages concluded with colleagues are considered the most interesting and strong. But you should never work under each other! Any element of subordination must be excluded from the relationship. If at work suitable women no, you can look for them in professional communities, hobby communities and the like social groups. A physicist and a lyricist, an artist and an accountant may be interesting to each other at first, but together they will not be happy. Therefore, a common worldview is the key to normal, strong relationships.

The next element is general gastronomic tastes. It seems a little strange, but people who have similar eating habits are physically compatible with each other. And in the future, in everyday life it will be easier for those who like to eat the same food to come to an agreement than for a meat-eater and a vegan, a follower of Japanese cuisine and a lover of hearty German dishes.

Sex is the third most important element of a relationship. A discrepancy in views and rhythms will complicate the marriage or lead to infidelity again. It will not be possible to re-educate human nature, so people with different temperaments and diametric tastes should not enter into permanent relationship, they still won’t work out normally.

The fourth element is fleeting touches. These are signals “I’m here”, “I’m nearby”. If people are physically intimate only in the bedroom, this is not entirely correct. Fleeting touches, walking arm in arm, stroking fingers - all these are signs of true feeling between two people. They feel good together, they signal this to each other.

Women do not cheat on healthy, spiritually developed and financially independent men. This does not mean that a disabled person does not have the right to personal happiness. This means that all losses, including in the area of ​​health, must be met firmly and not descend into self-pity. Healthy image life, self-development, improvement in one’s profession is the key to a successful personality that will not be betrayed.

It happens that to my husband. And then the deceived husband sits with his head in his hands and thinks about what to do if his wife cheated. The situation, of course, is not pleasant and it is unknown whether to immediately file for divorce, or wait a little longer and try to somehow rectify the situation. Indeed the question is complex. Well, of course, any decision should be made soberly, so what you shouldn’t do in this situation is get drunk out of grief. Firstly, this will still not help, and secondly, in the morning, when you wake up, the situation will remain the same and the issue will still have to be resolved.

WHAT TO DO IF YOUR WIFE CHEATED?

• Of course, first of all, you will have to talk to your wife. And this conversation will be difficult and unpleasant. The two of you just need to figure out what happened.

• Very often, a woman cheats when her feelings for her husband have already ended. Why this happened is another question, but, as a rule, women, unlike men, cannot change only physically and they consciously commit treason. So if your wife is experiencing tender feelings to your lover and is going to leave for him, then most likely you won’t be able to do anything.

She'll leave anyway. Maybe she will later regret her action and want to return - this also happens. But that will happen later. That is why you need to talk to your wife and find out what she is going to do.

• If your wife does not experience any feelings for her lover, you need to try to understand why and how this happened. No, we are, of course, not talking about physical details. It's about about what exactly pushed your wife to cheat. It is likely that she already repents of her actions. And then you will have to decide whether you want to continue your life together.

• It is likely that during your conversation it will become clear that some part of the blame for the betrayal lies with you. Perhaps you yourself, without noticing it, paid too much attention to other women, which offended your wife. Or perhaps you even cheated on her, in which case her cheating could be an act of revenge. Maybe you left your wife alone for too long for some reason.

In any case, a woman could not cheat just like that - there definitely had to be a reason.

• And when you figure out the reason and understand the degree of your own guilt, then you will decide what to do. But if you are prone to unbridled jealousy and it will be difficult for you to forget her act, it is better, of course, to get a divorce, otherwise you will simply ruin the life of both her and yourself.

WHAT TO DO IF YOUR WIFE CHEATS? ADVICE FROM A PSYCHOLOGIST

“My wife cheats and doesn’t hide it. How should I react? Ilya Polyakov."

What to do if your wife cheats, answers psychologist Elena Poryvaeva

First of all, let's think: why is she doing this? Perhaps like this in an original way she wants to provoke you into doing something that she cannot openly tell you about.

Firstly, this may indicate your wife’s desire to break up with you without being particularly active. The only thing the wife achieves in this case is an angry cry from her husband: “Traitor! Divorce!!!"

And then she proudly raises her head and arrogantly replies: “Well, good. Goodbye!" If a wife cheats, this may indicate, among other things, that she has someone to go to: the main thing is that the husband takes the initiative first. There are women who prefer to have the reputation not of arrogant libertines, but of abandoned exiles, in order to morally justify in the eyes of society their departure “under the protection” of another man. In this case, think: maybe it’s easier to immediately offer to break up with a woman who doesn’t expect anything more from you?

Secondly, such behavior of the wife may be caused by... the excessive monotony of her existence. If she is a demonstrative, bright woman, constantly striving to be in sight, and you are inclined to a calm existence, to a daily routine that does not change for years, to stable behavior in the family, your wife may well have desires to diversify family life, and by any means.

One of these ways for a demonstrative woman may well be a scandal. With screams, tears, showdowns, breaking dishes and mutual accusations. After such a scandal, the wife feels invigorated and pleased in all respects, especially if it is followed by sweet reconciliation, including in bed... And it is not at all necessary that the wife is actually cheating on you.

It doesn’t cost such a woman anything to lie just to literally enrage her husband. Indeed, in our society, many are convinced: the thing that can infuriate a husband the most is a message about his wife’s infidelity! And even if from her herself...

Well, if you are a calm man and don’t want scandals, then ignore this. By the way, there is very strong evidence that your spouse is most likely lying: suspicion does not creep into you even on an unconscious level. Then the wife repeats her “terrible confession” again, then again... And she will do this until you give her a scandal. So think about it: is your spouse’s desire for noisy conversations worth your peace of mind?

And thirdly, maybe it’s the other way around, if you declare your own sexual freedom (and make full use of it) without giving the same right to your wife. By the way, she may not need this right at all, but she does not want to be “disadvantaged and deprived.” And he tells you: they say, you’re not the only one, hubby, you’re in demand, someone else also liked me!

And again, this does not mean at all that your wife really cheated on you. In this case, think about what you mean by sexual freedom and whether it is worth insisting on such a distribution of responsibilities further. After all, it may end up that your wife will actually cheat on you...

Well, which of the three options best suits your actual relationship is up to you to decide.

“My wife cheated on me with my boss. Is it really just because he is wealthier than me? How can I communicate with her now? Leonid Grekov."

What to do if your wife cheated with her boss, answers psychologist Elena Poryvaeva.

Many people believe that if a wife cheated, she was really attracted to a higher social status and money. But with a one-time betrayal, it is very difficult for her to take advantage of all this! So, most likely, the reason was different.

Firstly, it may very well be that the situation of betrayal has been brewing in your relationship for a long time and your spouse was psychologically ready for intimacy with another man (especially if she lacked something in her family relationship, and not necessarily sex or money). And your boss just, as they say, turned up.

In this situation, you both need to figure out why your wife needs another man? Why did your wife cheat on you? After all, if there has been infidelity - no matter on the part of the husband or wife - one way or another, both spouses are involved in its occurrence.

Secondly, maybe your wife acted with the best intentions. Some women sincerely believe that by giving themselves to their husbands' bosses, they help advance their spouse's career (especially if this spouse is the sole breadwinner of the family).

Previously, for this purpose, bosses were given veiled bribes with deficits, but now how can they be given when everything is on free sale? So your wife decided to help you in this way. In this case, be generous and give her the right to make a mistake, especially since she, most likely, really tried for you and simply did not think that she would cause trouble for you in the first place.

And thirdly, it may very well be that your boss simply forced your wife into intimacy, blackmailing her. Like, if she refuses, her husband will have significant troubles in his career... Then your wife was simply defending you.

And if such coercion really took place, she is not the accused, but the victim. Of course, this is a separate conversation - whether to undertake any legal formalities, but a woman undoubtedly needs psychological support. And it is especially important that this support comes from you - the person for whom she probably sacrificed her own beliefs.

“Until I was 30, I didn’t start a family: I always wanted to achieve some success in life. When I could afford decent housing, furnishings, a car, a dacha, etc., I decided to get married. Met a slender woman beautiful girl, who became my wife. However, after some time I found out that my wife was cheating on me with my friend. Blinded by jealousy, he immediately filed for divorce. And since I don’t like any connections on the side, I married again. Besides, I wanted to show my ex that the light was not falling on her like a wedge. He chose his second wife no worse: she was just as slender and beautiful. And recently I come home and find her with a man in bed...

At first I decided that all women were the same. And then I started thinking: maybe there’s something wrong with me? Why does every wife cheat on me? And now I have constant depression, it’s gotten to the point where I can’t work... Yegor Savan.”

Why does every wife cheat on you, answers psychologist Elena Poryvaeva

Women are not all the same. However, both of your spouses, oddly enough, were similar in many ways - not so much in appearance, but in personality structure. Both are bright, demonstrative women. I suspect that you chose such wives primarily because it is customary in your circle to have attractive companions.

However, in both the first and second cases, the betrayal of your chosen one was to some extent predetermined. A woman of this type cannot stand it when everything in her life flows measuredly and monotonously. She needs constant “changes of scenery”, new impressions, new faces. You, as it turns out, are a fan of “life according to schedule”; everything around you should go according to routine.

Both the first and second wife cheated on you because life began to seem insipid to her, and thus she added strong impressions to herself.

However, what should you do now? Unfortunately, you and your personality structure will never get along with a bright and demonstrative woman. Therefore, either get a wife who does not require new impressions, or choose a new spouse according to the standards that your environment requires of you, but in this case, keep in mind the need to constantly “walk” her.

And you will have to forget about your own jealousy, in other words, not consider this spouse completely your property, so as not to feel the fear of losing power over her. By the way, even in this case, you are not immune from betrayal: an expressive lady will very soon become bored with the same sexual partner, even if you show wonders of variety in bed.

Remember that you cannot change an adult. Do not hope that with affection or threats you will force your bright chosen one to live according to your schedule. This will only lead to a loss of mutual understanding, and then to the same betrayal.

And most importantly, understand: it is not your fault that your wife is cheating on you. And even the fact that two women cheated on you in a row does not mean that you are an inferior man. You just didn’t choose those who are able to appreciate you! http://www.astromeridian.ru/

The wife is cheating. What to do? Video

Treason to my own husband- the most common reason why our conscientious women turn to psychologists. In one case, betrayal is a one-time misunderstanding, in another - love triangle(there are many options for the development of events) but regardless of the situation, the woman is faced with the question - what to do next?

Should you fall at your spouse’s feet and beg for forgiveness, or, in the name of the family, pretend that nothing happened? What do psychologists say on this topic?

The main reasons for women cheating on their husbands – are you familiar with them?

Men have a surprisingly simple attitude towards cheating - “ not caught - didn't cheat " And talking about cheating on your wife is practically bad manners. Well, unless in extreme cases, when the holes in the family boat cannot be hidden, and there is a desire to annoy the “unscrupulous” friend in life, who is not able to appreciate either the stars or the whole world thrown at her feet.

But what about the weak half of humanity? It’s rare that a woman treats infidelity “like a man” - that is, as a normal phenomenon and under the motto “a good leftist strengthens a marriage.” As a rule, women cheat for certain reasons and then have a hard time dealing with the betrayal - with remorse, mental tossing and vows “nothing more!”

Why and in what cases does a wife cheat on her husband?

• The wife is the head of the family
  This situation is not at all uncommon in our time. And it is precisely with such a role in the family that a woman’s chances of committing adultery greatly increase. In this case, the places of the “components” change, and the wife, changing the traditional worldview, decides that the right to the forbidden fruit belongs to her in fact - “I’m in charge here, and all the dissatisfied dependents can go to their mother.”
• Physical dissatisfaction within the confines of your bed
  If the sexual relationship of spouses is a “five-minute race” in honor of March 8 (or even more often, but mechanically, for show, with an interesting TV series or football), then the natural development of events is an involuntary search for someone who can drown out this “hunger”. As a rule, relationships with this “someone” become one-time (although sometimes they develop into a long-term romance), and the family collapses.
• Adultery at work
  And there are options. One is boldly pursued by a colleague, shamelessly enveloping her in a trail of mind-blowing perfume, “accidentally” touching her hand and winking invitingly in the direction of the cafeteria. Sooner or later (if there are prerequisites in the form of problems in the family), the woman’s “defense” falls, and a new client for the anonymous circle “Hello, my name is Alla, I cheated on my husband” is ready. Another option is corporate events. Under the influence of alcohol and emotions eager to be unleashed, women do a lot of stupid things.
• Vacation - go for a walk, go for a walk!
  In some families, oddly enough, it is customary to vacation separately. Perhaps to take a break from each other and have time to miss your other half. And sometimes it just doesn’t work out to go on vacation together - work keeps you busy. As a result, the wife goes with her girlfriend and... The sea, a warm evening, a glass of wine, hot tanned guys from another country - and the “I’m married!” program. my head goes into sleep mode.
• Extreme
  This option can be attributed to dissatisfaction in bed with your husband, but here everything is a little more complicated. Just stability “in bed” is not everything. There are also ladies who are simply bored without “pepper” and experiments. Casual sex, sex with a boss in an office, with a colleague on a desk, with a friend in a restaurant toilet, etc. becomes extreme, exciting from head to toe, etc. Of course, not all options at once (this is a very difficult case), but one of them. And repentance with pangs of conscience usually does not happen after such a marathon. If the spouse is able to satisfy all the extreme desires of his half, then the need for betrayal for her simply disappears.
• "Heredity"
  There are many exceptions to this rule. But it is still a proven fact that a girl, in whose eyes her mother regularly changed admirers, begins to believe that such behavior is the norm. And going on a spree from your husband (if you really wanted to, the cards were stacked and the night was so wonderful) - it’s not scary. He won't know anything anyway.
• Age
  Again, a rule with an exception (one size does not apply to everyone). But young wives are still too unstable in what they generally want from life. And divorce in the event of a small affair usually does not scare them - “oh well, there are people like you in line behind me.” Adult women are more stable in relationships. They already know that one of the pillars on which a family rests is trust. And the percentage of adultery among adult women is extremely low. Moreover, the “queue of fans” is getting shorter and shorter every year.
• Long separation
  A spouse is in the army, on a business trip, a spouse is a sailor or a truck driver, etc. A woman tired of loneliness (but, of course, faithful) suddenly meets a man who “understands” her and is ready to lend his strong “friendly” shoulder. A strong shoulder quickly transforms into a hot embrace, into which the woman falls without even thinking. Because I’ve already forgotten what it’s like. Of course, in the morning you will be ashamed. And before her husband arrives, the woman will have time to exhaust herself with remorse so much that she either immediately confesses, or by that time she will understand that, in principle, there is nothing to talk about. Because “the husband is still the best.”
• Bad example
  Some women get together to cross stitch. Others discuss global problems and “how to get a child to do his homework.” The third of the meetings organizes a competition - who has the “branded” handbag, more expensive boots, darker tan and more lovers. There are others, of course, but the third option is the most “senseless and merciless.” “Having a lover” is almost a matter of prestige for some girls. Like a nice car or a $2,000 dog. And those who fell under the influence of such ladies young girls they also begin to think that it’s normal to go on a spree from your fool husband (your “wallet with legs”).
• Revenge and resentment
  Powerful factor. This reason for betrayal is the most common. "An eye for an eye", treason for treason. Naturally, there is no need to talk about saving the family in such a situation. Although it happens that such a mutual shake-up becomes the beginning of a new stable life for both spouses.
• Husband's inattention
  Every family once has a moment of tiredness from each other or a “moment of crisis.” And it depends on both of them whether they will survive this period without shocks or split up, tired of throwing firewood into the family hearth. As a rule, the scenario is the same: the husband no longer speaks kind words, doesn’t make surprises, doesn’t kiss him when leaving at work, has to be taken by storm in bed, etc. Tired of futile attempts to change the situation, the woman begins to look around. Read also:

Instructions for an unfaithful wife - what to do after cheating on your husband?

For most women own betrayal is a serious test , which is quite difficult to get out of without losing face.

What to do if the “terrible” thing does happen - what do experts advise?

• To confess or not to confess? Before you make a choice, ask yourself: do you love your husband? Do you want to continue sailing with him in the same family boat to happy old age? What is the reason for the betrayal? Will you be able to live as before, given the fact of betrayal? And how might the situation develop after your confession?
• If you love your husband, if you are satisfied with everything about him, and cheating is a random episode (under the influence of alcohol, emotions, resentment, etc.), which you do not intend to repeat and which no one will ever know about (this is the main thing), then You shouldn’t admit it to your husband. Because recognition, as a rule, is followed by divorce. The awareness of your guilt will certainly haunt and torment you, but you have the opportunity to atone for your guilt with all-consuming love for your spouse and save your family.
• If there is even 0.001% that the truth will come out, if you were almost caught red-handed, if even a psychologist did not help you get rid of remorse, and confession bursts out of you as soon as you look into your husband’s eyes - confess. It is quite possible that your husband will understand and forgive you. Sometimes betrayal even becomes an excellent opportunity to finally discuss the problems that have accumulated in the family and eliminate all misunderstandings between spouses. Just don’t tell your husband all the intimate details. And convince him that everything happened due to circumstances that were beyond your control (alcohol, eclipse, revenge for that blonde, etc.). And don’t forget to add that you understand your stupidity, do not want a divorce, and in general “there is no one better than you.”
• Understand the reasons that pushed you to cheat. Maybe it's time to change something in family life? Or has the moment come for a serious conversation with your husband? Or do you yourself demand more from your spouse than he can give you? Or maybe love just doesn’t live in your house anymore? Your decision - to be or not to be - depends on the clarity of your understanding of the reason. That is, should you forget about adultery and return to your husband’s own hands, or is it time to tell him the truth and start new life without him?

What to do if your conscience deprives you of sleep, and you feel that if you don’t throw this stone off your soul, it will be easier to drown with it? How to calm your conscience and erase adultery from your memory , if you catastrophically do not want to admit to your husband that you are cheating and are afraid of losing him?

• Work on mistakes
  Take a break from self-eating and analyze your life. If in good company, over a glass or two, you start dancing on the table, and you are drawn to heroic deeds, then categorically avoid such companies and alcohol in general. If you lack variety in bed, tell your husband “all the secrets of pleasure after 10 years of marriage.” It is unlikely that he will be against it. If your work is filled with gorgeous guys, and everyone’s gaze drowns the centuries-old ice, then it’s time to look for another job. Etc.
• Remember: time heals
  Of course, a residue will remain, but there is no “delete” button in our memory, so relax, stop throwing ashes on your head, accept betrayal as a fait accompli and move on with your life. Nothing can be changed anyway. If things get really bad, go to your priest for confession and do everything so that in the future you don’t even have the desire to change.
• Occupy your head with more useful thoughts
  Find a hobby that helps you take your mind off that “shameful moment.”
• Try to ignore everything that might remind you of cheating.
  Don’t go to the cafe where you sat with your “adult,” don’t walk those streets and delete all data about him from your phone, notebook and computer.
• Dedicate yourself to your husband and family
  Return often to the time when you first met your spouse (especially return to him when thoughts about that random man come to mind). Cherish the feeling of love for your husband.
• If you feel like you're just torn with guilt, don't dump the truth on your husband.
  Take it to someone who will listen to you, understand and bury your secret in a cup of coffee (friend, girlfriend, parents - close person). Relief is definitely guaranteed.

Well, a little about “prevention”. As soon as you step onto the “slippery slope” of a cheater, as soon as the sparks of the future fire of random passion flare up inside you - immediately think about whether you are ready to sacrifice family happiness, the psyche of your children and your husband’s trust for an hour (night) of pleasure.

What do you think about female infidelities? We will be grateful for your opinion!

If you believe the popular opinion, a woman does not cheat on a man only if he is the best for her in the whole world or all men are no different from each other. What factors push a woman to commit adultery?

Unfaithful spouse

If the fact of cheating on the part of her husband suddenly becomes clear, all the positive emotions towards him in the woman evaporate, a feeling of emptiness is formed along with anger, malice, apathy and a thirst for revenge.

Most often, mistresses are blamed for everything, supposedly it is they who push the positive and correct spouse away from the path of truth in everything. For revenge, everything is used from the evil eye to hiring hooligans to simultaneously take revenge on both the unfaithful husband and his mistress.

If a wife perceives her husband's infidelity as an unforgivable betrayal, all her anger may be directed at him alone.

The most common weapon of revenge is retaliatory betrayal of one’s husband. At the same time, a woman can hide her act or humiliate him by doing it all for show.

At the same time, the frequency of sexual contacts may directly depend only on personal characteristics, and not on gender.

A woman may need sexual contact every day, but her husband may only need two sex sessions. Such a husband will not be able to be a passionate and skillful lover for his wife, since his sexual constitution will not allow him to do this. His wife's stubbornness will cause him to have opposite emotions and apathy.

If there is no harmony in sex on the part of a woman, irritability, which is difficult to hide, will appear soon. In order not to destroy family relationships a woman will even commit treason.

At the same time, she will not have warm feelings or deep emotions other than satisfying her needs.

Five years later married life sexual intimacy is no longer as vibrant as it used to be. There are children, cozy housing and common goals.

Therefore, no special attention is paid to sex, and nothing is done to change the situation. The spouses continue to live according to the established rhythm of life.

At the next stage, attention is focused on each other’s shortcomings, although this was not noticed previously. Habits begin to irritate, which leads to alienation. When there is no more warmth and tenderness in the family, they begin to look for them in other places with other people.

Women do not admit responsibility and do not agree to be responsible for their own lives and relationships with their chosen one. If in childhood a woman’s family had squabbles and scandals between her mother and father, then she develops a sense of fear of long-term relationships.

In order to end the relationship, a woman commits betrayal to her chosen one, so that he is the one who ends their union. Thus, she shifts the burden of responsibility onto the man’s shoulders for a relationship that could not be preserved.

What to do if your wife cheated?

Some men feel confused and depressed, others make serious scenes of jealousy and leave home. How to do the right thing so as not to harm the family?

1. Calm down and decide whether you will continue to live with such a woman. Can you live without her? What is the reason for this behavior on her part?
2. Will you live over a new leaf? Can you?
3. Add variety to your sex life.
4. Give your wife more romance.
5. Change your life, quit bad habits, go in for sports, change your image.
6. Spend more time with your children, prove to yourself and your family that you love her and will not leave her under any circumstances.
7. Visit a family psychologist, he will be able to guide you on the right path.

Yes, this is grief, it’s hard to disagree with it. Sometimes deceived husbands act out of the blue, commit rash acts, traumatize the children’s perceptions and speak angrily about their spouse.

In certain cases, it is the husbands themselves who become the reason for the betrayal; they do not devote enough time to their spouses, they work all the time, and do not see their family or children. Money is money, and in this situation the family will collapse.

What needs to be done? How to make a serious, responsible decision? Psychologists advise:

• retire for a certain time, think about all the pros and cons;
• then talk calmly with your wife, especially if you still have loving feelings for her, this will help you understand how dear this person is to you;
• think about what will happen - if you leave, or if you stay;
• even if you have decided to leave, then do not poison your life with anger, try to understand this person and perhaps forgive;
• find out what caused the wife’s behavior like this; if it’s simple promiscuity, then run away from her; if your wife has fallen in love, then try to return her to the family or let her go peacefully, because the same thing could happen to you.

Take care of your families, devote sufficient time to relax together, and do not turn work into a “place of long-term detention.” Happiness and prosperity to you!